This video is hilarious. I could watch it a few million times and not get bored with it. Maybe Britney Spears saw this video, and that’s where she picked up the British accent idea, because this little boy is damn cute. (Note to Brit: It’s not working for you.)

(Via Dooce.)

“I promise it works, baby.”

And maybe it will. Mitt Romney is no longer in the race for the Republican nomination for President of the United States of America, and my prediction came true even sooner than I expected.

Perhaps Mitt will still see something out of all his invested millions and find a place in the McCain administration. Should, of course, the Republicans find themselves in the White House, which after Dubya’s dubious reign, is unlikely.

I, of course, predicted that Mitt would not win the nomination, let alone the presidency, and I was right. Natalie 1, World, uh, well, somewhere around 5 million at last count.

Look, here’s the skinny. I have mixed feelings about Mitt’s withdrawal from the race. Religion aside, he was one of the best candidates. His FATHER, George Romney, was a man of integrity and honor, who, despite his heritage of racism and segregation (see the Mormon HISTORY BOOK people) stepped out and made a stand for integration and against segregation. For the most part, when you have a father who stands for integrity, the child usually learns something. That’s why dads are so important. That and to mow the lawn and put worms on fish hooks.

When Mitt Romney said he “saw” his father walk with Martin Luther King, Jr., a firestorm erupted. The microscopes came out, and logistics were examined, and everyone scored over old footage and news clippings, and Mitt got lambasted in the papers, and yet… Whether or not George Romney literally “walked” with Martin Luther King, Jr., he did “walk” with him, folks.

Even when an APOSTLE of his church sent him a letter encouraging he stand back and not embrace equality, he ignored that letter. He became EVEN MORE involved.

Is Mitt Romney his father? Nope. Does he have as much to offer? Maybe. I heard that he’s 61, so he has some work to do, but hey, I heard that 61 is the new 41, and in the Mormon “Old Geezer” world, he’s a BABY. Get cracking, Mitt.

He did a bangup job with the 2002 Olympics, picking up a rumor and scandal-smeared dirty envelope and making it pristine white before mailing it out to the world. That could not have been easy.

But, in the end, Mitt Romney’s religion did him in. And frankly, that’s understandable. I don’t see people rushing to the voting booths to put Tom Cruise, aka FrankenCruise, in charge, either. Mormon beliefs are just, well, weird. Late President Gordon B. Hinckley’s protestations aside, Mormonism is a WEIRD religion. Sorry, but it is.

It isn’t the ONLY weird religion. But it’s up there.

I’ve already recounted the reasons why, and if you wonder about my claims, read the blog, and please don’t come back and comment until you DO. Off-the-cuff comments make you look stupid, and me look witty and intelligent. Hmm. Perhaps you should just comment and THEN read. I’m all for looking witty and intelligent.

But that doesn’t make Mitt Romney a bad man. I know a LOT of Mormons who are intelligent, smart, and generally very nice. I think Mitt might have made a decent president, although if he doesn’t back off that Iraq support stuff, I might have to change my opinion. (Note: please do not read this as an attack on our troops. I am a HUGE supporter of the military, and the people who defend our nation AT ALL COSTS. I just don’t appreciate our nation sending our troops into a minefield and telling them to dance. Carefully.)

Truth is, Mitt never stood a chance, and I knew that from the onset. Despite the huge desire among Mormons to be accepted, it won’t and isn’t happening. And I speak from experience, and not anger or bitterness. The outside world might like you. That’s personal. But they don’t admire you. You might hear all those “faith promoting” stories and think they do, but you’re being misled. They think your religion is weird. And it is. And it’s okay. You embrace that weirdness, and more power to you.

But ask yourself this question. Why do I want people to accept this so badly? Is it because I have my OWN qualms about whether or not it can be true? Because if you are basing YOUR belief on someone ELSE accepting it, well, you haven’t looked close enough. And if you DO BELIEVE IT? Why do you need anyone else to back you up? Embrace it and move on. Or stay close. Or whatever.

So, there’s my take on Mitt. Now, I must put my crystal ball away. It’s glowing and keeping Stormy the Wonder Dog awake and agitated, and when he doesn’t get enough sleep he snores. Like now. Stupid crystal ball…..

These tickle my funny bone. And I haven’t had such an amusing one in a while. So here, from our NEWEST FRIEND Sarah, we have:

HATE MAIL!!!

> Name: Sarah Johnson
> Email: lazy_baby_girl@xxxxxx.xxx
> Message: Your website and everything in it needs to get a LIFE!!! Get over yourself and stop acting like the Mormon church is evil!! It is a RIDICULOUS accusation and why don\’t you get on some other religion\’s back for ONCE???

Dear LazyBaby,

Technically, my Web site could not GET a life, because it is not a LIVING creature. But you are pretty darn funny, let me tell you. Did you grow up talking in cliches, or is this a recent malady? Are there drugs for this condition? Inquiring minds want to know.

Get over myself about WHAT? Because I write about things that make you uncomfortable? You get over it. You’re the one with the issue.

And as for “it is a ridiculous accusation,” can you tell me WHAT you are referring to? What accusation? Please, be more specific. Do you mean your claim that I said the Mormon Church is evil? Because that would be a blatant LIE, and baseless accusation on your part. That would NEVER do. Surely you wouldn’t accuse me of such, without any basis in fact to stand behind. I never said the Mormon Church was evil. I said I have some issues with the tenets, and I’ve told you why.

Now, as for getting on some “other” religion’s “back,” again, technically, a religion does not HAVE a back, therefore, it would be hard to get on something that doesn’t exist.

Furthermore, what type of Christian are you, that you would wish something you consider a scourge upon some other religious faith? That’s not very Christlike there, Lazy.

I would personally like to thank you for emailing, because it’s been a while since I had one of these silly teenage emails. Please, tell me you are a teenager, because if not, I would hate to hear the dinner conversation around YOUR table.

“You are so stupid.”
“Am not.”
“Are too.”
“Am not.”
“Stupid.”
“I know you are but what am I?”
“Stupid!”
“I know you are but what am I?”

Ah, the lovely mental image….

Hello all,
It’s been a while since I sent out a newsletter (and it’s included here for my blog readers, even though YOU TRAPPEES get to hear from me all the time). All my spare time, which isn’t a lot, is going to writing, as I plot my escape to Islamorada. “Huh?” you might ask. “Islamorada?” you might think. “Where and what is that?”

On New Year’s Eve, I was home, writing away, working on THE TIES THAT BIND, a book for St. Martin’s. My children were portioned out to various friends’ houses, and since I’m not big into the party scene, I was using the time to write.

I was also wishing myself far, far, away. Somewhere warm, since Utah has been slammed this year with snow storm after snow storm. Hasn’t everyone wanted to start their life over, somewhere new, at one point or another. Especially when you live in the North Pole and your name AIN’T Santa Claus….

On my computer desktop, I have a weather thingie that tells me what to expect, weather-wise, and also tells me where people are having MUCH MORE FUN than I am. Well, it doesn’t say that, but it might as well. It should just flash THESE PEOPLE ARE SITTING ON THE BEACH DRINKING PINA COLADAS AND YOU AREN’T. Stupid weather thingie. That night, the warmest spot in the United States was Marathon Shores, Florida. Curious, and easily distracted, I wandered off to Google and did a search. I discovered Marathon Shores is in the Florida Keys. I’ve been to Key West ONE time, for a few hours (cruise) and I loved it.

So I spent the next few hou…er, minutes, perusing the pages of the Florida Keys. Islamorada became my hot spot, just because the NAME is so exotic, and of course, the place sounds pretty cool itself.

And I began to weave this story of myself, in Islamorada, escaping from the rigors of life, lounging on the beach. It’s a dream but hey, it could become reality. Or maybe even a BOOK. That research would be fun! I know, I know, spring will come soon enough.

On the writing scene, POINTE AND SHOOT is coming out in May. This is my favorite book in the series, and I think you will like it, too. Jenny grows up a little more, still finds herself in some serious hot water, and discovers that life as a dance teacher is tantamount to working in a loony bin. Or close.

To help you stay warm, here’s a hot cocoa recipe my Mormon mother swears by. She’s a cocoa connoisseur, so this one HAS to be good.

Hot Cocoa

RECIPE INGREDIENTS:

2 cups nonfat dry milk powder

3/4 cup sugar

1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa

1/2 cup mini semisweet chocolate chips

1/2 cup powdered nondairy creamer

1/8 teaspoon salt
1. Measure all of the ingredients into a mixing bowl and whisk them until they are evenly blended.

2. Store the mix in a tightly covered container at room temperature until you’re ready to package it. Makes about 4 cups of mix.

Well, that’s all for now, but I wish you all a MUCH WARMER and DRYER winter than we are having. Until next time….

–Natalie
www.nataliercollins.com
www.nataliemroberts.com
www.jennytpartridge.com

…or not. I was amused by several of the newscasts yesterday, as they announced the BIG NEWS. THE BIG NEWS was that Thomas S. Monson was named the 16th President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Okay, it’s not big news. There is rarely “big” or “surprising” news coming out of LDS Church headquarters. Although more than a few people were stunned at the death of Gordon B. Hinckley. Even though he was 87-years-old!

Back to Monson. Everybody knew that it was coming. The line of succession is clear. Even the NEWS PEOPLE, who acted so surprised, knew he was the next in line. He would have had to do something pretty major, like run naked through Temple Square, old parts a flapping, to get him knocked out of that position. Even the feeble-minded and near-death presidents get to hold the office, even if just figuratively.

I think Monson still has all his faculties. And he’s a relative SPRING CHICKEN, let me tell you, compared to Hinckley. Monson is 80.

Sort of gives new meaning to the Old Boy’s Club, huh?