I want you all to know I was so disgusted by all the Buttboy and legislature stories that I went out and bought me some alcopop. MMMMMM MMMM good. But, please excuse me, as I must go knock over a Rainbow Snow stand now, in order to support my new, rather expensive habit.

I Luuurrrrvvveee Utah. With big wet sloppy drunk kisses, because that is the ONLY way one can possibly read or listen to the news here, especially during the LALALegislation Session, without pulling out one’s hair or migrating to Canada…. This year, our NEW and SPECIAL friend has made it especially interesting, and requiring a LOT more alcohol.

Some of the highlights of the past few days? Along with the whole “black baby” debacle and the “I gave you this job and I can take it away” egomania, Sen. Chris Buttboy, er, uh, Buttars, is NOW proposing a bill that would allow misconduct by police officers to be HIDDEN from the public. GOOD IDEA, CHRIS. Let’s take men with guns and the ultimate authority, make them unaccountable to the public for their actions, and see how that goes. It’s worth a trial run. Surely NOTHING BAD can come from that.

Maybe while you are at it, you can throw in certain Utah representatives. Let’s make THEM unaccountable for THEIR actions, too… Oh, you already thought of that? Go figure.

Thanks to Summer for this heads up. I think.

More about Buttboy? He is AGAINST gay clubs. I know. You’re shocked. Oh, and Gayle Ruzicka and her Nazi-ickas SUPPORT him. Again, the shock is overwhelming.

I had forgotten about this VERY amusing quote, or at least had forgotten that HE said it, until he brought it to my mind again with all his idiotic posturing.

“In my mind, if you are in the chess club, what do you talk about? Chess,” Buttars said. “If you are in the dance club, what do you talk about? Dance. If you are in a gay club, what do you talk about? I just don’t believe members of sexual orientation clubs should be sanctioned by the public schools — what they are talking about even a part of the public schools. They should not be allowed to have that on school property at all. It’s just wrong.”

This man is a danger to society. Or at least, to THINKING society. The rest of you nonthinkers should go picket your local quickie mart for selling alcopop. It will keep you busy while we tend to more important things. Oh, I think I hear Gayle Ruzicka CALLING you….

FYI, the above article I quoted notes that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has joined THE FIGHT AGAINST ALCOPOP. I swear, what would we do without the Mormons? Meth use is RAMPANT in Utah, but by all means put your very large, very rich shoulder behind the INHERENT DANGERS of alcopop, which despite anyone’s belief is VERY STRONGLY REGULATED, and forget that children are being raised in hazardous waste bins–aka homes that are used for meth labs–in a very REAL and actually dangerous phenomenon. Where is the LDS CHURCH in the fight against METH? How about the fight against AIDS or CANCER?

No, by all means, let’s take a stance against alcopop.

Good God.

No wonder Chris Buttboy got elected here. He digs himself deeper with every day and NO ONE SEEMS TO NOTICE! Pay no attention to that man over there in that very large hole, dear. He’s just making the world safe for you, keeping away the black babies, gays, scientists and judges who don’t rule in your favor.

Ah, it’s February, and the smell of hypocrisy and ass-kissing is in the air. We loves us some Utah Legislature meetings, yes we do. Why? Because there’s ALWAYS something funny to write about, and this year, our friend Sen. Chris Buttars is just FULL of shits and giggles.

First there was the “black baby” scandal, and now, Buttars has been removed from his position as chairman of the Senate Judicial Confirmation Commission, after it was revealed he abused his position to threaten a judge who didn’t rule favorably for a friend of his.

According to a story in The Salt Lake Tribune, Buttars wrote a scathing letter, on Senate letterhead no less, to 4th District Judge Derek Pullan, threatening to take away his toys, stomp on his sand castles, and give him an atomic wedgie.

Buttars wrote the letter on Senate letterhead in May on behalf of his friend Wendell Gibby, a radiologist and developer who has been in a running clash with the city of Mapleton. In it, Buttars reminded Pullan that, as chairman of the confirmation committee, he had advocated on Pullan’s behalf and was embarrassed by a decision he rendered against Gibby. He accused the judge of “bias” and questioned his integrity.

The end result, of course, was that the already under-the-gun Buttars was relieved of his chairmanship. If he hadn’t been dissing those poor black babies, this one might have flown under the radar, but right now, every stupid ass thing he does is media fodder.

Tomorrow, we expect he’ll express his great respect for the Nazis and wonder why the heck the Jews are so bent out of shape about all their dead relatives being baptized Mormons. After all, they can always say “No thanks,” if they don’t really WANT to be Mormon….

Especially black babies. Dark, ugly things.

Ah, I love life behind the Zion Curtain. So…. The question of the week here in Utah (and everywhere ELSE in the nation, thanks to one of our legislature’s finest) is:

Is Sen. Chris Buttars, from West Jordan, a racist bigot? Hmm. Interesting question. There is little doubt he is not a well-spoken man. In fact, I imagine right about now he’d do better with his mouth sewn shut and forced to use charades to get his point across… Or maybe not. Consider this:

The brouhaha started when Buttars, speaking about a bill he opposed, said: “This baby is black . . . It’s a dark, ugly thing.”

Can you say YIKES? I certainly can. Let’s face it, Buttars just probably blurted that out, not even THINKING of the racist connotations it had, because let’s face it, he’s a white man here in White Man’s Mecca, aka Utah. He probably didn’t really intend it as an insult, but usually, if one sticks one’s FOOT in one’s MOUTH, one attempts to at least remove the offensive appendage and wash away that nasty taste.

Not Buttars. He likes the taste of stinky foot. The stinkier, the better. After the whole “black baby comment,” he refused to attend a meeting with the NAACP because the media might be there. He compared his treatment to that of a “lynch mob,” and then, for the pièce de résistance (at least in my eyes), uttered one of our FAVORITE phrases here at Trapped: a form of YOU PEOPLE. Buttars said:

“Lynch mob is a Western term. You wouldn’t find one person in 10,000 in Utah that thinks that’s a racist term,” Buttars said in a phone interview this evening. “That’s not a racial term in my opinion. How do I know what words I’m supposed to use in front of those people?”

Did this guy even GO to school? How the hell did he get elected? He doesn’t even know the difference between racist and racial. The words you are supposed to USE, Chris? How about “I’m sorry.”

That would go a long way to healing this… I don’t see that happening. If he would JUST shut up, he might have a hope, but he won’t, and whether or not he meant the words offensively, his big stinky feet are smelling up the atmosphere around here.

You had a chance to make amends, Rep. Buttars, and you screwed it up. I believe the call for his resignation, at this time, is correct. Even our governor is not standing behind him.

We all say the wrong thing sometimes, and when the story first broke, I felt like Buttars was a victim of his own illiteracy and lack of education. But you can only excuse stupidity so far. He’s gone over the edge.

As Wonkette so aptly and humorously put it:

The unflappable Chris Buttars defended the racist comment that he used to defend his racist comment with yet another racist comment:

He said he spent years working with troubled teens at Utah Boys Ranch. “I’ve dealt with black kids, red kids, brown kids at the Boys Ranch more than half of my adult life, and I’ve never been accused of racial anything. I see a kid in trouble,” he said Monday.

Don’t you wish you lived here in Utah? Come on, I know you do… Oh wait, you do? My sincerest condolences…. My suggestion for bearing out the legislative session is going to bed, pulling the covers over your head and praying until the whole damn thing is over.

(By the way, you HAVE to read the comments on the Wonkette post. Freaking hilarious.)

Usually, my hate mail is of a hit and run variety. I don’t spend much time conversing with the writers, and with good reason. They all think if they just HARASS me or belittle me or speak down to me JUST ENOUGH, using that Mormonotone, I will come to my senses and return to the fold. Never mind that it is the ultimate arrogance to not actually READ my words, and instead, try to interpret them using the tools they have been given from birth: circular logic and stupendous leaps of fancy.

For example, since Gladys Knight is now a Mormon, this is proof positive that the Church is true, because if it were a racist and misogynistic organization, she would never have joined. I once got an email from an obviously young and quite ardent Mormon, who basically said, “I’m not a Mormon, but it must be true, because look at all these people who believe it!” And that is a familiar thought process within Mormonism, as so many of them seek validation.

Sarah seems to be no different, as she obviously is following my blog. After she read my post, dedicated to her, she sent another email that said this:

Name: Sarah Johnson
> Email: lazy_baby_girl@hotmail.com

> Message: Thanks so very much for your kind reply and I myself think that it was funny that you felt the need to post it on your blog, if in fact you hate the Mormon Church so much why would you need to draw more attention to us?
> However, I also think it quite hilarious that instead of directly addressing my points, you found the need to bash on my \”clichés\”, and claim that my use of personification is in the wrong when I do believe that you just had no useful rebuttal. And yes, I am a teenager. Which I also think is funny that you would have to bring it up, because shockingly enough, I know what I stand for and I am a Christian, in fact I am a member of the L.D.S. church.
> I also think that while you have the right to voice your own opinion, so do I. teenager or not. And although what I said may have offended you, (and obviously it did or it wouldn’t be posted on your blog) I think that you have given me more power by showing that even if I am a teenager, I at least have the strength in myself to show what I believe in.
> So, you can go ahead and post another blog about me and claim that it makes you laugh, but meanwhile I know that you are truly offended by us standing up for ourselves. Just as I offended you, you stood up for yourself, it’s the same for us, only we don’t stand alone.

To make it easy, let’s do this by the numbers. Perhaps that will make the information easier to remember.

1. I don’t hate the Mormon Church OR Mormons. Have stated that many times. I just don’t think it’s true. Pay attention, Sarah. Bet you drift off in geometry class, too. No worries. I always hated math myself.

2. I have no problem referring to the Mormon Church because I am not even slightly worried that my writing about it is going to have either a negative or positive effect. I don’t care. It’s just me journaling my experiences. I link to the main LDS Church Web site ALL the time.

3. You didn’t HAVE any points. There was nothing to address. Did you forget what your email said? Let me refresh your memory.

Your website and everything in it needs to get a LIFE!!! Get over yourself and stop acting like the Mormon church is evil!! It is a RIDICULOUS accusation and why don\’t you get on some other religion\’s back for ONCE???

4. You wrote: “However, I also think it quite hilarious that instead of directly addressing my points, you found the need to bash on my \”clichés\”, and claim that my use of personification is in the wrong when I do believe that you just had no useful rebuttal.” Again, Sarah, NO POINTS to address. You wanted me to talk about getting off the CHURCH’S back? The CHURCH does not have a back. And I addressed why I write what I do many, many times. As for that sentence about personification, quite frankly, what the HECK are you talking about? That makes no sense at all. WHAT personification? You had no argument. There was nothing about tenets, philosophies, beliefs, etc. YOU JUST TOLD ME TO GO AWAY and PICK ON SOMEBODY ELSE. That, my dear, does not require rebuttal.

5. I have no problem with you voicing your opinion. Good on you. However, you might want to research a bit to support said opinion. Just a thought.

6. You did NOT offend me. I honestly think it’s funny. I know that’s hard for you to grasp, but it’s the truth.

7. Glad I gave you some power. I have received other emails claiming that my books have made people RETURN to the Mormon Church. I think maybe the Church Powers that Be should owe me some props for that. I love being an effective missionary tool, even if it’s for the other side!

8. Sarah, let me make this plain. I am NOT offended by any of this. You, however, seem FULL of offense. Like so many Mormons who come here. They refuse to see this blog for what it is: my recountings of life living behind the Zion Curtain, as an “Ain’t” instead of a Saint. There are TWO sides to every story. You are welcome to share yours and I helped you along. Sorta. You didn’t really tell us much. Would you care to share more? Tell us WHY you believe?

9. If you think I am standing alone, you have NOT been paying attention.

Now, I did some thinking about Sarah’s response to my blog post, after her first silly email, and then I ran across this quote in the Village Voice. It was an interview with actor Ryan Gosling, who was raised as a Mormon. And he compared his own “non-believing” status to that of his mother and his sister, who at the time were apparently still faithful Mormons. (Note, I am not saying they are not STILL faithful Mormons. This just happens to be an older article, and I am not going to assume anything.)

From the interesting article in the Village Voice, circa 2000.

Raised Mormon in Cornwall, Ontario, Gosling (who now calls himself “religious but nondenominational”) says his background made it easier for him to grasp one of The Believer’s main themes—the inconsistencies at the heart of religious faith. “My parents were more Mormon than I was, but it did help me understand. I see how happy it makes my mother and sister, and I think it’s beautiful. Maybe I’m too selfish, or I’m jealous of their humility—that somebody can say, yeah, it doesn’t make sense but I’m going to believe it anyway.”

I like it. It does require a certainly humility to say, “Yeah, it doesn’t make sense, but I’m going to believe it anyway.”