They might as well just rip your heart right out of your chest
When my children were babies and toddlers, I was vigilant about making sure that all of our electrical outlets were safe from prying, chubby baby fingers and any of the myriad things those little fingers might try to push into those sockets. I bought the little plastic protectors and whenever a socket wasn’t in use, it was covered and safe–and so were my children.
Today, I think back on those memories, and wonder if Valerie Nye is remembering the same thing. Maybe she is wishing somehow she had something so marvelous, so small and convenient, and yet worth so much for all the heartache they save. Wishing life was that simple again, and that Friday she wouldn’t be burying her 15-year-old son, Scott.
I can’t imagine anything more terrible than the loss of one of your children. Especially in such a horrible way.
Friday, after school let out, some local teenage boys, including Scott, headed up to a trail that led up into the foothills of the Wasatch Mountains. I imagine they were just hanging out together, passing time, maybe talking about girls. Maybe swearing or cursing a bit, because they are kids and they will experiment.
Because boys will be boys, when they happened upon a metal-frame transformer tower, they decided to climb it. It looked like fun. It was adventure, and of course they knew there was danger involved, but teenage boys are mutants. They think they are invincible. They walk down the middle of the street, playing chicken against cars as though they can fight off anything–ANYTHING–and walk away unscathed. Even a three-thousand pound metal car. Oh would that they were right. That they could withstand the crushing weight of a vehicle, or 46,000 volts of electricity. But they cannot.
One of the boys climbed the tower first, and recounted the terror when he got down. So two more of them decided to go up, and Scott was about two-thirds of the way up when things went horribly wrong. Authorities–and his friends–are unsure exactly what happened, but it is possible he slipped and grabbed the power line, or that it arced.
And his friends watched as he died. In a story in The Salt Lake Tribune, one of his friends said:
“We heard this loud pop and [saw] like a huge light - like a huge flash of fire and sparks - and he [Nye] just fell,” Croft said.
And with that flash of light, that pop, a young life was forever ended. The boy slightly below Nye on the tower happens to be the son of my good friends. I know him well, and I know that his entire family is in mourning now. Not only for the horrible loss of a childhood friend, but for the loss of innocence for their son.
There must be a bubble of protectiveness around our brains when we have children, because if there wasn’t, we would never do it. We would realize the world is full of speeding cars, bullets, incurable diseases and 46,000-watt towers that have an incredible lure. Sure, we know these things exist, but they exist for someone else. Not for us. Not for our children. Because if we knew that, if we knew the pain of that loss and the fear that comes with the horrible dark knowledge that no amount of prayer, or any belief system, or ANYTHING at all can save you sometimes–well, we just wouldn’t be willing to risk the pain.
For more than one family tonight, that bubble has popped. The dark knowledge is real.
There has been some small controversy in the Trib story comments, because someone was angry that the boy who reached Nye first stopped to pray before performing CPR. One commentor wrote:
Stopped to kneel & pray before performing CPR??? I am impressed mommy & daddy filled your head with all the false Mormon BS so you could let your friend have a better chance of dying. My condolences to the family of the deceased.
First of all, I have to say that the few short seconds of prayer doubtless had no impact on whether or not Scott Nye died, but undoubtedly gave the boy administering CPR the courage and faith to TRY to save his friend, even when he knew that Scott was already dead. I found the above comment a little horrifying, simply because I don’t feel it is relevant or factual. This is bitter tripe spit out and spewing at the Mormon Church, when this is not about Mormonism at all. Yes, these boys were raised LDS, for the most part, and their behavior was instinctual, but this is more about human nature. Anyone who has read this blog knows I don’t believe Mormonism to be true, but I do understand the basic human need to believe in miracles. To reach out and grab something out of air, anything, to change the circumstances.
They reached out for help in the places they felt they could find it. At that point in time, prayer was it. Someone else was calling 911. Help was on the way. A few seconds of prayer was needed for the boys still living to carry on, and try to save their friend.
In 2003, while visiting Idaho, near Yellowstone, I had my own little miracle. My own little intervention, reaching out and grabbing help. My youngest child was on the back of an ATV, and my soon-to-be-ex husband was ahead of us, leading us down a treacherous hillside, when something told me to just GET HER OFF the back of the four-wheeler. I told her to walk down, and not one minute after she got off the front wheel of the ATV hit a log, flew off balance and rolled over on top of me several times. I was injured. She was safe.
I don’t know if it was common sense, or guardian angels, or WHAT that day, but I still have her.
Scott Nye’s family and friends do not have him. They tried. But he died.
My condolences to the family in this time of horrible tragedy. I’m sorry you’ve been visited by the dark knowledge. And I hope that your faith makes it easier to bear. I wouldn’t dream of taking it away from you at a time like this.
October 15th, 2007 at 5:55 am
I’m really sorry for the loss… but regarding that comment about CPR… isn’tt hat used when someone drowned I mean he was electrocuted…
“Parents should never bury their children”
October 15th, 2007 at 9:54 am
My sincere condolences to the family and friends who are in pain and suffering the loss of someone they wholly loved.
How unfeeling and cold to berate them. While the idiot making the comment might not believe in anything but himself, to lash out and to add further punishment to kids who will be forever haunted by this incident is cruel, cold, and selfserving.
And what George said.
October 15th, 2007 at 10:11 am
CPR is cardiopulmonary resuscitation. If the heart is stopped, you use it to restart it. .
Addendum. Sean is technically right. While CPR can result in the heart starting up again, its real purpose is to keep blood flowing and “buy time.”
October 15th, 2007 at 4:33 pm
Although my reaction was not nearly as pointed or mean spirited as the commenter on the Trib, I do admit a momentary thought of “whaaa”? And, thank you for pointing this out, Natalie. I am thoroughly ashamed of that moment, which, thank goodness, was quickly replaced with tears for the family and friends of that boy (and a moment of remembering just how stupid teenage boys can be). I’m glad I still have my “stupid” boys.
October 16th, 2007 at 8:20 am
In this unforutnate case, CPR probably would not have helped at all - although it was very important to try - so the seconds lost to a prayer would sadly probably not have changed the outcome.
But even a few seconds lost in other cases can *drastically* lower the patient’s chance of survival, which would already be very low due to complications and inadequately done CPR. It’s true that every second counts when trying to save a life. I can admire the courage for a kid to even try to perform CPR even with hesitation, but if a religious adult were to waste that time before trying to help someone, I would be appalled.
October 17th, 2007 at 2:10 pm
I really feel for these parents. I have 3 teenage boys of my own and don’t know if I could handle a situation like this.
Natalie, I feel your comments were exactly right. Thank you.
CPR is not meant to restart someones heart. Its purpose is to circulate blood until help with the right equipment arrives. The few seconds needed for a prayer would in no way effect the outcome of CPR. Whether it is an adult or child, taking a few seconds for prayer will help calm the person down and better CPR will result. Every CPR class teaches that you should assess the scene and calm down before starting. For anyone to say that a few seconds of prayer can adversely effect CPR is either uninformed or just looking for a way to negatively portray someones beliefs.
October 18th, 2007 at 6:22 am
As I said, in that situation the few seconds didn’t matter, because they were on-scene when the accident happened, and because the shock was probably too much for a body to withstand anyway, and I won’t hold children to the mental standard I would hold a trained adult to.
But in a situation where a rescuer comes late to a scene, where someone has been unconscious without a pulse for an unknown amount of time, or known to be longer than four minutes, every second most certainly does matter. You lose enough time already getting to the patient and doing an initial assessment, the seconds are ticking away until the 4-6 minute range where brain tissue starts irreversibly dying.
Yes, you assess the scene before starting in order to make sure there are no hazards to your own life before trying to help someone else. But no CPR class I’ve taken in the last 8 years has said that a rescuer needs to take time to “calm down” - a rescuer is supposed to already posses a frame of mind that will allow them to begin action to save a life as efficiently and capably as possible. Note that I *am* saying that a few seconds of prayer before CPR can and will adversely affect CPR. I think as a certified first responder I can consider myself informed. And no, I’m not looking for a way to negatively portray someone’s beliefs - if they think prayer will help, they can do it while counting chest compressions. But praying or crying or doing a rain dance before starting CPR where CPR is necessary is criminally irresponsible. I’m not negatively describing their beliefs, I’m negatively describing their behavior and priorities in an emergency.
October 22nd, 2007 at 8:53 pm
I understand from the Book of Mormon that whether a prayer is uttered from the heart, or on the knees, it’s just as effective.
“And it came to pass that he commanded the multitude that they should cease to pray, and also his disciples. And he commanded them that they should not cease to pray in their hearts.” (3 Ne. 20:1)
Now the boy may have felt he needed to make this kneeling expression to generate more faith, I am not to judge that. People react differently in situations. I can think of things worse than this, for example refusing a blood transfusion because a verse in the book of Acts. People do all sorts of “irrational things” because of their beliefs. From what I’ve read above, those few seconds would have made little difference. The swipe in the SLT was more telling than the boy’s behaviour. One was motivated by sincerity, no matter how misguided the action may have seemed to some, the other by malice.
January 27th, 2008 at 7:44 pm
i know scott personaly he was a good friend of myn ive know him for like 4 years th friends that were with him loved him very much thats why they went to prayer i know thats what i would do and the boys that were up there were scotts best friends and the church is true and scott will live on forever in the eyes of the people that loved him i also had another friend die that was really close to me and its hard but prayer gets you through these things and gives you understanding so R.I.P scott i love you man.
January 27th, 2008 at 9:18 pm
Brittan,
I know you want to believe the Church is true, and that’s your right. But your feelings, and the feelings of Scott’s friends, are valid, and important, and I believe I was very clear about that.
I wish you the best.
March 15th, 2008 at 9:29 pm
Scott was already dead when my best friend ran to do CPR on him, he knew this, and for him praying was the best thing to do. It did nothing but help the situation. The papers don’t tell you everything, the fact that my friend even atempted to perform CPR on Scott in the condition he was in just is hard to think about. All the boys that were there when it happened did everything right, I’m so very proud of each of them. And yes we know now that we are not invincible, it sucks that we had to learn it like that but life is full of wake-up calls (some more tragic than others.) rest in peace Sunshine, you will be missed.
March 21st, 2008 at 10:24 pm
Ya man, It was instent. In a way I’m happy it was beacuse, say he lived a little long and was able to say goodbye to us could you even imagine the pain. I love this kid and will see him soon. Love ya Sunshine.
May 6th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
Scott Nye was my cousin, and i just found this site by accident, but thank you for kind words.
May 18th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
to clear up some stuff….scott died before he hit the ground….he experienced enough electricity to power half a city……the cpr was mostly for my sake so that i could feel that i tried my best. but i want everyone to know that scott was my best friend. there was no more of a good pretty much perfect person then him. when you are in a situation like that you go through the most intense panic imaginable. it’s impossible to explain unless someone else has gone through it. that prayer helped me remember how to even perform cpr…..it’s a miricle that i even knew how… i just want you to know that that prayer helped me even stay calm….it’s more of a benefit for of us that knew scott to say that we DID try to save him but we had no idea that he was already dead before we even got to him.
June 15th, 2008 at 10:56 pm
I am so proud of all you boys who were with Scott. I’m so proud that you thought to say a prayer. Unlike some of the comments above, I KNOW that prayers can only help a situation get better. I know that your prayer helped you have the courage to go on. I wasn’t best friends with Scott, but I knew him and knew what an amazing person he was. I’m so happy that I will be able to see him again. We love you Sunshine!