So, I’ve been feeling quite under the weather. You know, puking, pain, can’t eat, scream curses kind of under the weather.

Last Sunday I went to the emergency room, where the young, handsome doctor said, “That sounds like your gall bladder.” So they did bloodwork and an ultrasound, and the YHD said, “Nope, no gallstones. Must be food poisoning.” Then they dosed me up with painkillers, handed me a prescription for more painkillers, and told me to come back if it got worse.

What, this could GET WORSE?

So for a week, I try to resume eating, only to discover that my body does not WANT this food, and has every intention of forcing me to keep said food a LONG WAY away from my stomach. (Just a note: this involves the top end of my body, not the bottom end, for those of you who are squeamish.) After throwing up for seven days straight, I have decided that bulimia is an over-rated disease. I don’t get the allure.

In addition, I have been given pain killers that make me have very, very strange dreams. I’m not entirely certain, but I think Joseph Smith told me that he had a lot in common with Simon Cowell, and he asked me for Bill Clinton’s phone number. REALLY! “I did NOT translate that book with my head stuck in a hat!”

I’d make a very bad addict, I’m telling you, because I would be trying to find ways to avoid getting my next fix. “Shouldn’t we grab a cup of coffee at the mission before we stick that needle into our arms and shoot up?”

At any rate, the vomiting, the nausea, the weird dreams–compounded by intense pain–just kept getting worse. Here’s where the “come back if you get worse” part comes in.

So today, I went back, worse as was expected of me, were I ever to grace the halls of that hospital again. If YHD had come into the room after they had me settled, I might have had to light him on fire. I don’t care how young and handsome he was. IT WAS NOT FOOD POISOINING.

The doctor I saw this time was apparently a werewolf in a former life. He had some serious chest hair going on, springing out of his scrubs and trying to climb up his neck and ESCAPE.

Standing a good ways back from said chest hair was his mini me, a resident who was “shadowing” him.

People are almost always on their best behavior when someone is watching their every move. I know this much is true.

So, he informed me that he needed to do some sort of “hidescan” test that involved shooting nuclear materials into my body. Wow. Afterward, will I be able to do party tricks? “Turn off the lights, and watch Natalie glow!”

Turns out this test was just plain flat ass LONG. More than two hours. My mother, who took me to the hospital, was ready to search the morgue. She was pretty worried.

But, it revealed that the gall bladder, the little culprit, was highly dysfunctional.

So, Monday morning will see me in the hospital, having said offensive gall bladder removed.

And tonight? Can you say PERCOCET?

Sorry, my guitar licks, via written symbols, are sorely lacking. Wayne is DETERMINED for one and all to hear his point, as he has referred us to his long, winding, run-on-sentence-filled diatribe yet again. So here, today, in Wayne’s World, I will give him his fiddy cents. Or 15 minutes, whichever comes first.

Wayne says:

Hypocrisy on display—

[This was previously posted in regards to the section about Mitt Romney. I think it applies to this subject as well. (With some editing and many additions)]

I thought it interesting that someone would comment on the Book of Mormon and then refer the readers to the so-called “excellent” article about the fallacies of the Book of Mormon written by the owner of another website, Richard Packham.
I am assuming that Natalie herself, and most of the participants on her website, are of the “Christian” persuasion. If that’s the case, I am wondering why anyone of the Christian persuasion would use him (Richard Packam) as someone that could be trusted on any subject concerning any kind of a belief in God.
Out of curiosity, I clicked on his name just to see what he had to say about the “Mormons”. What I found was kind of interesting. He is a devout Atheist. He even writes “why he is not a Christian any more” articles, and even has a long list of Bible contradictions. Don’t believe me, see for yourself. See what a so-called, self-proclaimed expert can do with the sacred beliefs of Christians. Then compare his techniques with the techniques that are being used against Mormonism.
Some seem so anxious to break out their ”Big Guns” of fault finding, and demonstrate their “intellectuality”, in regards to the “History” of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Just “partially” for fun, let me demonstrate just how easy it can be done:
I know some people don’t like to “put the Bible on trial.” And, if it is quoted or talked about, they call it an “attack on God’s final and infallible and forever word.” But let me take that chance and see what you think.
First off, let me suggest that you go to the local library, and check out a book by a Biblical scholar of your choice (one that you have a lot of trust and faith in) and research the History of the Bible. Learn not only who put it together, but how it came about. Learn about the process of translating thoughts from one language to another, and the difficulties of getting the same message, or meaning, of a certain scripture when the translation is complete. As you are aware, there are a lot of people retranslating the Bible, because they apparently seem to think the King James Version has some problems in it. Learn about other faiths that have additional scriptures in their Bibles, and other Christian faiths, that have chosen to leave them out. You know how important it is to some, that Mormons have “added” to “Gods word.”
I listen to the Bible on cassette as I drive, and suggest that you do the same. Start from the very first page (or cassette/CD). Go all the way through (word for word), (Old and New Testaments), and see what is in them. I know some people just like to go to the references in the scriptures that refer them to other scriptures that back up the same point. But this time, just read the whole book from the beginning (Genesis) to the end (Revelation). If you do, I really don’t think you will be so quick with your “trigger finger in regards to the LDS faith.

Let me further make my point by using some (tongue in cheek) comments. Some of it is said in “jest” just to demonstrate what can be done if a person should “shift” his mind into the faultfinding mode, (although some of it is factual). It is also done with the thought in mind of how some people in the “shift’ mode, go to the LDS Church history to find some evidence or problem with the doctrine (or leaders) of the Church to prove it unworthy of believing in it. It is also done with the idea in mind that the “Bible is your Church History.” It is a record of the beginning of your Christian beliefs. It is the history of the Jesus you believe in as Lord and Savior. It is a record of the early leaders “and Prophets” that you believe in and trust, and their writings you go to (hopefully), to reinforce your belief in God and His Son Jesus Christ. It is your book of God’s instructions of how he wants you to live your life so you can change your attitudes and lifestyles to be what He wants you to be.
Now: If I were to “shift” (or allow someone to shift) my mind into the faultfinding mode in regard to what you believe, and if, I used your test of “perfection, without tolerance,” I would go to the Bible and read all of the things that the “so called” prophets were guilty of doing. Things like; running around in public naked like David (see Micah 1:8). Getting drunk like Noah (see Gen 9:21). And another getting drunk, and then having sex with his two daughters and getting them pregnant like Lot (see Gen 19:30-38).
And then, I would read a few false prophecies like the one Jonah made, when he said God told him to go to Nineveh (see Jonah 1:1-2), and tell them that “Nineveh shall be overthrown.”(See Jonah 3:4). Guess what? It didn’t happen. Even Jonah was “mad” at God (see Jonah 4:1, 9), which is a big “NO, NO.” Why was he mad a God? Because God apparently “changed his mind,” (see Jonah 3:10), and made Jonah look like a fool, (maybe even a “false prophet.”)
I know you have already read your own material and you know all about these things.
How about talking donkeys? (See Numbers 22:28) Let’s ask the prophet Balaam about that one. Or better yet, let’s ask the witnesses that were there (see Numbers 22:22), maybe they will tell us what really happened. I might even question the good relationship between your God and Lucifer, when they got together and made a deal concerning Job (see Job 1:6-12). Even God’s sons were there to witness what took place on that occasion (see Job1:6). I might even stumble across another little incident by the prophet Elisha in 2 kings 2:22. No, better not read about that one. And, I definitely wouldn’t want to read what God told a prophet to use for fuel to bake his bread. (See Ezekiel 4:12)
Then, as I read, I would come across the little, and of course, unimportant, incident that took place in Gen. 34, that seems to implicate a prophet of God:
Let me paraphrase: The son of a leader of another country, raped one of Jacob’s daughters. Jacob and his sons (needless to say) were a little upset about it. The leader of that country and his son were sorry for what had taken place and ask Jacob and his sons for forgiveness. They even offered gifts for their “grace.” Anything Jacob would ask, they would give. The sons of Jacob told them: “If you will become as us, and be circumcised, we will forgive you.” I would read on and find out what Jacob’s sons did after they had made Hamor, and his son Shechem, feel forgiven. And this was done even after Hamor and Schechem went back to their city and had, all the males in their group, do the same (be circumcised), to prove that they were sincere. And, just maybe, I would have a hard time trying to convince myself that Jacob didn’t, in some way, have something to do with what his sons did. Especially so, when I read on and found out that Jacob seemed a little more concerned about his own “skin” than was his concerns as to what had taken place. And then, I might even take note as to how they were trading their daughters back and forth as if they (the daughters) were cattle. I just might have a flash come to my mind and compare another incident in “Mormon Church history,” the Mountain Meadows Massacre and Brigham Young, to the rest of Jacob’s story. And then I just might go back and read what the Savior said about the “mote and the beam.”
Oh yea, I know you could give me a bunch of answers about these subjects, but that is not part of the process in discussing “religious” matters, is it? You will say that I have twisted the information, or “you are just looking for the bad.” OK, I concede, I’m guilty.
I just don’t think I could belong to a group that believes in those kinds of leaders. I just couldn’t follow leaders that would do those kinds of things. But, only if I used “your test”!!! Keep in mind that we are reading in Christian “Church history” (the Old Testament).
And then I would go to the New Testament, (more “Christian Church history”) and read stories of “your Jesus” and the irresponsible things that He did. Things like; casting evil spirits into some poor man’s pigs, so that they would run off a cliff into the ocean (see Mark 5:13). And then another time when He was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to fast and pray to His Father (see Luke 4:1), for forty days. Guess who shows up to answer His prayers? (See Luke 4:2)

I could go on with a lot more, but I won’t. There are a lot of reasons for not believing in your brand of religion. And I just know, I could discourage a few believers by going out and holding up a banner encouraging them to go to a web-site with all kinds of negative information designed to discourage them. Just like the ones you and others have, in regard to the Church and Joseph Smith. Another interesting thing is: I have never found any indication or even a hint in the Bible or any place else, that anyone had “apologized” to anyone for what they did, or what their ancestors did.
There is a difference between you and me. I can except the weaknesses in the Prophets of God and still believe that they were inspired by Him, and talked to Him (face to face, like Moses). And for some reason I can’t explain, is, that God works through weak humans, (I think you would call them sinners), and calls them Prophets, to get His message to His children (you and me), as He says in Amos 3: 7.
You can’t do that. Prophets have to be “perfect” in every way for you, or you can’t believe in them, especially LDS Prophets.

Other things comes to mind that your people did to the “Mormons” even before the MMM.
Click on your search and read about the Hauns Mill Massacre. Let me help you find one:
http://www.web-books.com/Classics/YoungFolks/Church/YoungFolks_ChurchC21P1.htm There was even a young child shot “point blank” and killed. His young brother had his whole hip blown away by (possibly) one of your own Christian ancestors.
Read other reports about what the early “mobs” (some of them “Christians”) did, and how they burned the early saint’s homes, and drove the members of the Church out of their warm homes in the middle of winter without even coats or shoes.
Let’s talk about the rapes of our women, and murders of helpless old men, women and children. One sick old man was slashed to death with a sickle, (a long bent knife used to cut corn). The person who committed that crime was heard bragging about it later in a saloon.
Shall we talk about how some of the “mob” (possibly some of your ancestors or former Christians) took turns raping one young woman to death on a bench, while they forced her husband to watch?
How many died crossing the plains trying to get away from people with attitudes like yours.
These are but a few of the hundreds………

Things have gone wrong on both sides of the issues. But, as yet, I only hear one side demanding an apology for an incident that “the big bad Mormons” did.
I have yet to hear an apology for those crimes (afore mentioned), by your ancestors, or from your former or present leaders.

It is interesting to me too, that having listened to a lot of preachers on Christian radio and television: I have never once heard them talk about those incidents. And if they did, they could always come up with some kind of excuse or softening reason for it taking place. Could they be hiding something from their followers? I am convinced that the Old Testament should be rated ‘X’ or at the least ‘PG’ for the things that are in it.
I am convinced that those who are professing to be Christians, and that are so adamant in criticizing the Mormons have never read their own Bible. If they had, they wouldn’t be so judgmental about Mormonism. I am not going to quote any specific scriptures, because I think the basic theme, and one of the main points, that the Savior taught, was on the subject of “Hypocrisy”.

I know many of you are going to want to make some kind of an explanation of why I am way off base on some of the things I have said. But let me say this: “My mind is made up” and “no matter what you say or how much evidence or intellectual information you have to refute my comments: It will make no difference. That is of no use. Because my mind is blocked and there is no room for any kind of explanation or excuses.” Does that Sound Familiar???

Wayne

Just one more thing: This is part of an e-mail sent to me by a friend. With a little effort, you may be able to go to the original article and see the photograph for your self. As a member of the “Mormon” faith, it is quite encouraging.

Editor’s Note: We wish to thank Jeff Brooks for bringing this very
interesting discovery article to our attention. The long debated
question about bound metal records existing in the Middle East 2500
years ago as claimed by the Book of Mormon can now be put to rest.
Critics should take note and check that item off their list of
objections to the authenticity of the Book of Mormon.

Copyright © 1999-2002 Ancient America Foundation. This message may be forwarded with identifying information. For more information or to subscribe or unsubscribe to AAF Notes or utilize the AAF order form, visit http://www.ancientamerica.org and click “Contact us”. Refer, by e-mail, comments or questions to aaf@ancientamerica.org

Unique book goes on display
The world’s oldest multiple-page book - in the lost Etruscan language - has gone on display in Bulgaria’s National History Museum in Sofia.
It contains six bound sheets of 24 carat gold, with illustrations of a horse-rider, a mermaid, a harp and soldiers.

The book dates back to 600BC
The small manuscript, which is more than two-and-a-half millennia old, was discovered 60 years ago in a tomb uncovered during digging for a canal along the Strouma river in south-western Bulgaria.
It has now been donated to the museum by its finder, on condition of anonymity.
Reports say the unidentified donor is now 87 years old and lives in Macedonia.
The authenticity of the book has been confirmed by two experts in Sofia and London, museum director Bojidar Dimitrov said quoted by AFP.
The six sheets are believed to be the oldest comprehensive work involving multiple pages, said Elka Penkova, who heads the museum’s archaeological department.
There are around 30 similar pages known in the world, Ms Penkova said, “but they are not linked together in a book”.
The Etruscans - one of Europe’s most mysterious ancient peoples - are believed to have migrated from Lydia, in modern western Turkey, settling in northern and central Italy nearly 3,000 years ago.
They were wiped out by the conquering Romans in the fourth century BC, leaving few written records.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/2939362.stm

World’s Oldest Book Found - and It’s on Gold Plates

From BBC News, 26 May, 2003, we learn that the world’s oldest multiple-page book in the lost Etruscan language was recently found in Bulgaria. It contains six bound sheets of 24 carat gold. And the book dates to when? About 600BC.
Just a little reminder: the idea of writing on a book of gold plates may have been laughable in 1830, when no one had heard of such a thing, but it wasn’t laughable in Nephi’s time!

I’ve read it six times, folks, and it never gets less meandering. If you can wrap your mind around Wayne’s post, please take a minute to explain it to me. However, I can tell you that this is written by a man GRASPING at straws. You found examples of a “golden book” so that means that Joseph Smith was NOT A con man, because somewhere in the universe, someone used GOLD to write a BOOK? That’s pretty thin, baby.

Grasp away, Wayne.

Wayne’s world, Wayne’s world, Wayne’s world….

After tonight’s horrific events, when another “mountain bump” endangered rescue workers, I am just so sad for the families of not only the trapped miners, but now the rescue workers. Authorities are now reporting that three of the rescuers have died. THREE.

What a horrible tragedy.

Godspeed to these brave men who were trying to save six miners. Godspeed.

I do. Because being mean and nasty never really got anyone anywhere, except maybe temporarily ahead in life until karma catches up with you. But sometimes, SOME PEOPLE, just TEST YOUR PATIENCE until you have none left, and you just have to let loose.

For example, I give you THIS comment by Wayne, the faithful, Kool-aid drinking, Jesus-Jammie wearing, MORMON.

Now Wayne has irritated me in the past, but don’t feel bad faithful Mormons. Compared to the irritation I feel, I am a BURR UNDER HIS JESUS JAMMIES RIGHT NEXT TO HIS…well, you know…. It’s a constant itch that the man SWEARS he is going to go to the doctor and fix (aka, leave this blog and never, ever, ever, EVER EVER come back again), but he just can’t. The truth is, Wayne is a highly addicted Trappee. He LOVES me. He comes back again and again and again, usually to tell you all how I am going to lead people into violence against Mormons (Wayne, if ANYONE could lead people into violence against Mormons, it’s YOU! Right now, hordes of people are trying to find out your address just so they can drive to your house, unhook your modem or DSL connection, and take you to the nearest TRAPPED rehab center.)

Or perhaps, Wayne’s family is right now forming a good old fashioned plan for a TRAPPED INTERVENTION. PUT DOWN THE MOUSE, WAYNE, and step away from the computer.

Wayne’s latest nugget of wisdom is this:

Wayne Says:

August 16th, 2007 at 1:00 pm

I was thinking: If Natalie WERE to get her name off of the records of the Church, (which I don’t think she does), it would upset the premise of her web-site.
What I mean for instance is:
What would she then call her web-site? Maybe something like: “Un-trapped by the Mormons”, or maybe “Finally!! Released from the Mormons”. Or maybe “Free at last from the Mormons”.
Then if it were to happen: What would she then write about? She would then be different from all the other “Trapped Mormons” who love to spend their time defending her with their blogs, to help her put down all of us mean Mormons.
She would rather spend hours, days, weeks, months and years writing about her trials of being “Trapped by the Mormons”, rather than take a comparative small amount of time writing a 30 min letter to the church reminding them of the former efforts. It might even take making a copy of the same letter she posted on this web-site and sending it to Church headquarters.

Um, Wayne????? I DID request my name off, REMEMBER. Did you read and COMPREHEND any little tiny bit of what I wrote? Johnny did. For all his comments, Mormon Johnny has said time and time again that the issue of Mormon Church resignation lies with the CHURCH. The problem is on their end, and many members of the church, like Johnny, are frustrated with the system. He has suggested I try to call this problem to the attention of the media. I am doing that. Go Johnny! Can I call you Johnny Lingo? Oh wait, I’m showing my age, aren’t I?

But Wayne? Wayne says, “I was thinking: If Natalie WERE to get her name off of the records of the Church, (which I don’t think she does), it would upset the premise of her web-site.”

Wayne? I’m thinking THINKING is bad for you. Perhaps it would be better if you DIDN’T think. Because even while thinking, your sentence structure is so poor it makes no sense. “If Natalie WERE to get her name off of the records of the Church, (Which I don’t think she does), it would upset the premise of her web-site.” You don’t think I do WHAT??? You don’t think I get my name off the records of the Church? You right. I don’t. It no workee.

My Web site, as azteclady pointed out, is www.nataliercollins.com. You are reading my blog, or online journal, which I have VERY tongue-in-cheek-ly entitled, Trapped by the Mormons. This title, which I would LOVE to have come up with on my own, is borrowed from a very old, very campy silent movie. It’s JUST FUNNY, Wayne. Get a sense of humor. Borrow one if you have to, because you really need it.

As a WRITER, I WRITE about lots of things. I write books about dance and crazy psycho dance moms, and those are mysteries. I write about serial killers who have never met Mormons, and those are suspense fiction. And I write SUSPENSE BOOKS set in Utah, in the culture I grew up in. I own the right to WRITE about my right to WRITE. For my next book, I am thinking of proposing a book about serial killers who have never met Mormons, but happen upon my blog, and swear a vendetta against all Mormons based SOLELY ON WAYNE’S COMMENTS. Whew. I must have been channeling Wayne there or something.

And when is the last time I wrote about a MEAN MORMON???? Hmmm?? Just point it out, Wayne. The LAST PERSON WHO WROTE ABOUT A MEAN MORMON on this blog was, well, YOU, in the comments, when you wrote about the whackjob who attacked his hometeachers and then you tried to imply that I was responsible for his violence. HE WAS A MEAN MORMON. My Mormons are just silly.

FYI, I have three blogs. This one, www.murdershewrites.com, and jennytpartridge.wordpress.com. I know you’ll be sad, Wayne, but I only write about MORMONS in this one. That means I spend more than a few hours not writing about Mormons. Sorry to disappoint.

I WRITE, Wayne. I have contract with THREE DIFFERENT NEW YORK PUBLISHERS. I write three blogs. I help friends write resumes. I help my Mormon dad write up all kinds of things. I ARE WRITER. Er. eh, sorry, channeling Wayne again.

I suggest YOU GET A GRIP, Wayne, and either stay away or learn to deal with my acerbic style. As it is, you give me a lot of fodder, and you don’t seem to realize that. I could do a blog a week on your comments. I could call it, Wayne’s World, yet another title that I sadly did not BRILLIANTLY think up. All the best ideas are already taken.

There. Now I feel better.

FYI, copy of letter went to Bishop S. of “my ward,” along with a copy to Church HQ. Will keep all posted. And give it up, Wayne. Even if they finally do take my name off, I’m not going to change the title, because it is DAMN FUNNY.

Now, let’s hope they find those miners alive.

Life is a learning experience. I’ve learned a lot in the past few days. There has been a great furor on this blog over the fact that I have NOT been allowed to resign from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I have had this story questioned MANY times since I have told it. Always by active Mormons. I shall now give you yet ANOTHER blow by blow. How fun. As I have recounted in the past, I followed the required protocol, which meant I had to contact my bishop, in my local ward, and send him a letter. He was then to forward the letter to the stake president, who in turn was to forward the letter to Church Headquarters.

I sent the letter. Nothing happened. I called. The bishop did not return my calls. I called the stake president. He did not call me back either. Several months letter, angry at being ignored, I called Greg Dodge at member services. If memory serves, I did not speak with him personally, but the man I spoke with was very kind. He promised results. A few weeks later I got a letter from the church saying that my name removal was being processed, and warning me of the “eternal consequences” of such an action. A few weeks after that, I received a letter stating that my request had been processed. Please note, my husband’s name is included in this letter, as he also requested removal. The letter read:

Dear Chad and Natalie.

This letter is to inform you that your names have been removed from the records of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This action is listed as a name removal, and not an excommunication.

This action may be rescinded if you send a second request within 30 days to President XXX XXXXXX……

If you are satisfied with this action, no further correspondence is needed.

Very Truly Yours,

Bishop XXXXXXXXXXXX”

A scanned copy of this letter is available here. It’s not a great copy, but hey, I received it in 1998, and the Church letterhead is this light silvery color.

Approximately three years later, I received notice that my name was on the ward directory. Not only this, but I was there twice. Once under my maiden name, along with that of one of my daughters, and a son named Robert (an apparent spirit child). I was also there under my married name, along with my husband, WHO WAS ALSO ASSURED HIS NAME WAS REMOVED. At least, I assume that NO FURTHER CORRESPONDENCE IS NECESSARY means “we are through with your unholy asses.”

At this time, I laughed and decided who cares? What’s the point? I talked to a lawyer friend about legal action. He laughed. In Utah, the MORMON CHURCH ALWAYS WINS. If you step outside of the Mormon corridor, you might have a chance of winning a suit. Not here. Why bother?

Of course, whenever the home teachers or the primary president or such would come around, I would request NO CONTACT for my entire family. This always lasted about, uh, two or three years.

I have had Mormons harangue me about harassing the primary president. HELLO! She came to my house, did not introduce herself, and asked for MY DAUGHTER! I’ve never gone to HER HOUSE and done the same.

I received comments like this:

Laura Says:

November 10th, 2006 at 10:19 pm e

GROW UP Cambre’s Mom, noone cares that you are such a great mom that you stood up to someone who didn’t respect your boundaries while trying to be kind.
I have a feeling you are quick to hate other people who are not like-minded as well. That’s too bad for you.

And I received object lessons like this:

6. Connie Myers Says:

January 3rd, 2007 at 8:20 am e

We moved to Switzerland for the beauty, the travel opportunities, and for the great job offer. We chose a home in a little village not far from Zurich and enrolled our children in an English-language international school.

The Swiss people are proud of their heritage. The Zurich region is German-speaking – well, sort of. The language of the area is Swiss German, a variety of German far removed from what is spoken in Austria or Germany. But the people of the region are proud of their language and their heritage. And that’s fine with me, as long as they’ll leave me alone.

We’re an English-speaking family. We notified the local gemeinde (government office) that we’d enrolled our kids in the English-language school, and asked them to take our names off the school rolls. We thought that would be the end of it.

One day our doorbell rang. The woman at the door asked for my daughter, speaking English with an obvious Swiss accent. My daughter was four years old and not accustomed to adult visitors.

Me: Who are you?
Her: I am with the school district.
Me: Whoa, wait a minute. First of all, what is your name?
Her: [tells me her name]
Me: Why are you here, asking for my daughter?
Her: I stopped by to tell Andrea about her new Kindergarten class.
Me: Okay, stop right there. What makes you think you can come to my door with an invitation to Andrea to come to a kindergarten class, or whatever it is you have, and NOT tell me who you are or what you want? Isn’t that a bit presumptuous?
Her: Well, I didn’t mean it that way. I just didn’t want her to feel left out.
Me: Left out of what?
Her: Left out of making friends with neighborhood children her own age …. Well, hey, I made a mistake, I think. I’m sorry.
Me: Look, I am not trying to be rude, but have you even THOUGHT once about what you are doing? How would you feel if I showed up at your house and invited your daughter to a school in MY language? All the while smiling nicely at the mother? What would you do?
Her: Well. Hmppph. I’ll tell the gemeinde you want no contact.
Me: Good.

That’ll last about ten minutes…..They’ll be BAAAACKKKKKKKKK.

The nerve of these people. Just because they speak Swiss German, the majority language, what makes them think our family wants to be indoctrinated? We’re an English-speaking family and have no desire to change. We’ve told them that on the official record. Why can’t they leave us alone?

And since this is one of my VERY favorite comments I’ve ever received, I wanted to share it, as well:

mail: princess7tink@xxxxxxxxx
Message: I just want you to know that I think you are horrible. I heard you on the radio the other day talking about your book and thought I would check out your site just to see what it was about. I just got through reading your story on leaving the Church and having your name still be on the directory. BIG DEAL!!! GET OVER IT!!! PUT ON YOUR BIG GIRL PANTIES AND STOP CRYING ABOUT IT!!!
Just because you don’t like the LDS church and the teachings you shouldn’t be discouraging others from having the missionaries come to their house or opening
their door to them. If others are discouraged because of reading what you had to say, I hope you are severely punished when you get to the other side and see
what you are missing and what others missed because of you.

I of course have received much, much more like that. But that one doesn’t have much to do with the saga of my name removal. But it’s funny.

So, fast forward to the past few weeks; weeks in which Johnny believes he has been trying to help me get my name off the records.

Trappee Johnny is pretty peeved with me. Quite frankly, I think he is peeved without reason. He also probably doesn’t appreciate being called a Trappee. But hey, he’s here and commenting, so he gets to play with us.

Apparently, Johnny, who left an email, is upset because I accused him of leaving a fraudulent email address. See, when I WROTE him an email at said address, some guy wrote me back and asked me who the heck I was. After that, Johnny averred that HIS email is actually one NUMBER off the one he left, and a computer’s “cookies” resulted in the wrong address being printed every time he posted. Interesting. Just a note. This email address is ONLY visible to the person posting and to me. I would have thought Johnny would have noticed the typo, but go figure.

But the fact that HE HIMSELF accused me of HAVING FABRICATED my story, I’m perplexed as to why he thinks he’s been so helpful. When I go back and read some of his comments, I do think his intent was good. But the problem is, HE’S believing what he has been told. I wish it were that easy.

Johnny said:

# Johnny Says:

August 6th, 2007 at 11:01 pm e

Strange that you of all people would get a copy of the ward directory. That’s contraband for you. Its clearly marked for “Bishopric and Ward Clerk” only. Who do YOU know on the inside???

But you didn’t answer the most important question: who was covered by the letter from HQ that said your name is removed? Just you or did it list your husband, and each child?

What you’re describing would be a first in this church: that HQ accepts your name removal and now magically it’s back on the directory; In more than 11 years now of dealing with church offices in salt lake on an almost daily basis this would be a first. For everyone else when HQ deletes your membership record from Membership General Directory (which means moving you to the ex members & excommunicated lists) that’s it, they just don’t put you back on. You need to request re-admitance by baptism etc etc………………..

I now honestly doubt that you are being completely truthful in all of this, especially the details.

Really you should begin by putting up a copy of that letter from HQ as a start for some credibility. (I can actually check from here, from my office pc, whether of not it’s legit.)

Now he accused me of not being truthful, especially the details. He claims that I could not have a copy of the ward directory. HELLO? They hand them out like candy here in Utah. They left the damn thing on my doorstep! I wasn’t even home. And my mom has a copy of HER ward directory posted on her cupboards in the kitchen, by her phone. Are they really contraband in Australia? And if so, WHY?

And I posted the letter, as he requested, even though he declined to post HIS credentials, like say his temple recommend. Not sure how that’s fair, but hey, I’m playing along. Don’t want to be accused of fabrications.

Both me and my husband were included in the name removal. Since MY CHILDREN WERE NEVER BAPTIZED, only blessed, they should have been included just CUZ. Apparently, this is not true. If you let someone say a little prayer over your kids head, they are COUNTED A MEMBER. I was trying to be nice to my dad. Didn’t know I’d be fending off the primary president for the rest of my life! Robert has never been blessed, however, since he declined to be born. I’m wondering how HIS name ended up on the records.

One of Johnny’s “blokes” from Australia, Mark, also posted here, accusing me of all types of lack of credibility, and ethics, and other such hogwash. Since he posted with a bogus email address, Spam Karma ate his comments, and I cannot retrieve them. I was accused by Johnny of removing them. NOPE. Wasn’t me. I even returned them once, only to have them disappear again. It appears to be a problem when someone doesn’t leave a real email address, and frankly, if you aren’t even willing to stand behind your words, don’t bother to come here.

Here is the bottom line. I followed the rules. I wrote the letter. I was ignored. I called the bishop. I was ignored. I called the stake president. I was ignored. I called Church HQ. The bishop finally acknowledged me. The name removal letter (the first one) was sent. Later, I received an official notification. I am now being told it was not official, by Johnny.

I polled the ex-Mormon community, and discovered that everyone’s experience is different! Go figure. Some people got what I got. Some people got letters from Greg Dodge. Some people got letters marked copy. Some people received confirmation they had been removed, only to find their names BACK ON.

Johnny says that IF my name was removed by all the right procedures, it would NOT show up back on the ward records. Hmm. If that is true, where did they GET IT? They don’t give out personal information like birthdays, and children’s names, in the YELLOW PAGES. Or white pages for that matter. There is only ONE PLACE TO GET IT. The Church.

So…. That’s the story, and I’m sticking to it….

Today, I put in a call to Church HQ. I also intend to make a copy of my letter for my bishop, the nice man with ten children who visited my house the other day. When I called the Church I was told Greg Dodge was not available. I left a message. The saga continues…..