My friend Jenni, who just happens to be a Mormon, called me today bemoaning the fact that NOTHING is open in Utah County on Sundays. Nothing. Not even the Wal-Mart. What were we thinking going down there?

What, you might ask, was the Collins clan doing in Utah County? Generally, it’s not a hot vacation spot, at least for us. My parents, on the other hand, make a yearly pilgrimage to worship at the wall of BYU EDUCATION WEEK. But because I have a Dancing Daughter, as does Jenni, we just spent Wednesday through Sunday in Happy Valley. I have decided this is a misnomer, because the man who flipped me off after I pulled (rightfully) into the merging lane by Utah Valley State College, did not look all that happy. Matter of fact, he looked downright grumpy, especially after I blew him a kiss.

But I digress.

Odyssey Dance Theatre puts on Dance Utah, the very best dance camp in the state (and possibly the west). You can learn from Derryl Yeager, Veronica Yeager, Eldon Johnson, Thayne Jasperson, Tiffany Carpenter, Trey Barber, and more. At the end of the camp, two scholarships per group are given away. Those scholarships are highly coveted. And the opportunity itself is HUGE. So, since Jenni and I have DDs, we were there in Utah County. Jenni stayed at a very expensive hotel, because she needed a suite and a place that would accept dogs. We decided to act like Trailer Trash and hang out in an RV Park, because we have a trailer.

We have never stayed in an RV Park before. I know, that might sound strange, but we are campers. We don’t worry about hookups, and sewer hookups, because we usually don’t go places where there ARE hookups. You camping snobs can just get over it, because I’ve slept in many tents in my life, and I’m old enough to have earned a trailer, and a place to shower WITHOUT spiders. And I don’t pee over a bush in the middle of the night when any size creature could get a hold of me. Sorry. I may have a big butt, but it’s my butt, and I’m attached to it.

Again I digress.

So, we pulled up to the RV park in Springville, Utah County, and the surveyed our scenery. A lot of other HUGE RVs and a railroad track. My parents had told me this was the best RV Park in Utah County, because they knew the area. I guess I don’t like RV parks. We had to buy a hose and some sewer containment thingie that we have never used before. The park manager said, “Oh, so you are dry campers, eh?”

Say THAT without making it sound like an insult.

The RV Park was crowded and loud, the managers crabby, and during the hot, hot, day, the smell from the, uh, poop cooker (as CC called it) was unbearable. We were glad to leave today. Plus, the wireless Internet at the park chose NOT to work. Until yesterday. GIVE ME A BREAK!!

The good part? Dancing Daughter won a scholarship, one of SIX given away!!

The bad part? My friend Jenni’s phone cut out, when she was talking to me, just like it always does in front of the adult bookstore in Ogden. She thinks it’s a sign that God wants her to go IN to the adult bookstore. I think the POWER OF SATAN is involved. You know how sneaky Satan is.

So, is there an adult bookstore in Utah County? Because her phone died, just like it always does in front of the ABS.

We shall have to investigate.

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