Archive for May, 2007


From the Mormon Hatemail Bag…

Thursday, May 31st, 2007

It’s been at least, oh, a week, since someone made a comment like this. Our new friend Julie said:

You are a complete moron. I can’t believe the stuff you included about this bride being pregnant. She was NOT pregnant when she was married in the temple. The baby was conceived weeks later. (It’s May 29, and the baby hasn’t been born yet!) You don’t have to spin everything in Utah that happens with your anti-mormon twist. You are so off about this situation that you should be sued for slander!

Hey Jules? Weeks later? Wow. WEEKS is just SO MUCH TIME that it might not be questioned. Give me a break. I don’t spin. Don’t have to. What’s anti-Mormon about a pregnant bride? It happens EVERY day here. Psst… Little secret… Mormons have premarital sex, too…..Slander? Muwwwahhhhaaahhhaaa. Silly Jules.

Weenie Rat Face Mentally Ill, but Competent to Stand Trial

Tuesday, May 29th, 2007

According to an article on KSL.com Warren Jeffs is mentally ill, but competent to stand trial.

The report reveals some insight into Jeff’s life in jail. According to the report unsealed today, Warren Jeffs has been struggling with symptoms of depression and anxiety. The examiner noted Jeffs’ intense religious behavior in jail. He is sometimes on his knees praying for hours at a time, without moving. In fact, the examiner noted that Jeffs had ulcers on both knees because of the kneeling. The evaluator’s conclusion was, “Jeffs has ‘Depressive Disorder,’ which includes significant features of agitation and depression.”

The judge secretly ordered the mental exam following Jeffs’ court appearance in St. George on March 27. His attorneys asked for the exam because they noticed what reporters and spectators also observed: The polygamist leader seemed out of it, unfocused, nodding off, even drooling at times. The examination was conducted by a Salt Lake firm called Associated Behavior Consultants.

Warren Jeffs is crazy like a fox. I suspect he IS mentally ill, or he never would have become the tyranically dictator he was to the FLDS group, but I believe his actions in court were nothing but an act. And it didn’t work.

He is competent to stand trial, and he WILL be charged. Now let’s see how they handle his punishment.

Vote for Satan!

Friday, May 25th, 2007

This is kind of OLD news, and my friend Dej alerted me to it (thanks Dej!) but we were having fun with the odd traffic report, so I waited to post it.

I know many of you have been waiting for the opportunity to vote Satan in as president, and now here’s your chance! At least according to Bill Keller, host of Live Prayer TV from Florida.

I love televangelists. They are so funny. I realize they don’t INTEND to be funny, but really they are. The only one I ever had any respect for was Billy Graham, but once his son took over, uh, no thanks.

Back to Bill and Satan. Apparently, he claimed in a devotional sent to 2.4 million email subscribers:

If you vote for Romney, you are voting for Satan.”

He also said:

This message today is not about Mitt Romney. Romney is an unashamed and proud member of the Mormon cult founded by a murdering polygamist pedophile named Joseph Smith nearly 200 years ago. The teachings of the Mormon cult are doctrinally and theologically in complete opposition to the Absolute Truth of God’s Word. There is no common ground. If Mormonism is true, then the Christian faith is a complete lie. There has never been any question from the moment Smith’s cult began that it was a work of Satan and those who follow their false teachings will die and spend eternity in hell.

Absolute Truth. Those words should be PLASTERED IN BIG LETTERS all over the world as BUZZ WORDS and a key to run like hell and hide under your bed. Really, this guy is saying what the Mormons say, but they are MUCH NICER about it. Really, they are.

I’m not kidding! The Mormon hell is not filled with fire, and I was always taught it was a lot like where we live today. I could do without the gangs, and the crime, and telemarketers, but other than that, I’m good with it. It’ll work.

But FLAMES! DAMNATION! HELLFIRE! If I have to choose, I think I’ll stick with the Mormons. Good thing I don’t have to choose….

If there is an afterlife, and a heaven, have you ever thought about how many people are going to be wandering around thinking, “HUH? What the heck is HE doing here?! He was a Baptist!”

And if there is a hell, I wonder how many people are going to be down there thinking, “But all I tried to do was make them RESPECT GOD! That’s why I set those bombs off that killed thousands of people. They were sinners! It was all for God.”

Stuff like this is almost enough to make me VOTE for Satan, er, uh, Romney. Almost.

Blessthisfoodthatitllnourishandstrengthen ourbodiesnameofjesuschristamen

Saturday, May 19th, 2007

Mormon prayers are very distinct, and it’s easy to pick a Mormon out of the crowd, if, say, the crowd is praying. We grew up reciting the same prayers over and over, and I can still say them. I can even recite the sacrament blessing even though I’m not a male, and certainly never actually BLESSED the sacrament.

One Sunday after church, we were saying a blessing over our food, and the phone started ringing, and my sister, who had just entered her teens and lived with a phone stuck to the side of her head, jumped up to answer it. “Jesus Christ?” she said, instead of hello.

Now, it wasn’t Christ calling, although given it was a Sunday, it could have been the bishop or someone else with churchly duties in mind. They probably didn’t mind being called Jesus.

Unless they thought she was swearing at them. I suppose that’s possible. But the truth is, I learned to pray early, and often, and by rote, and most other Mormon children learned the same thing.

Still, when I happened upon this little snippet on Dooce’s Web site, I had to share it, I admit to being a little floundered. Apparently, Kristy Snow, traffic reporter in Utah, has given a FEW TOO MANY prayers in her lifetime, because her traffic report ended in a very unusual, uniquely Utah, way.

It’s just too good not to share.

http://www.dooce.com/audio/fm100.mp3

Trapped by the Mormons, irritating Saints one post at a time

Friday, May 18th, 2007

Lately, there has been an influx of commenters with an interesting outlook on my blog. Yes, they are ALL faithful Mormons, and yes they are ALL offended. One compared me to Hitler. That was funny. Another called my blog “a nightmare.” That was amusing, too. Another one (shout out to my bud Wayne here) has repeatedly tried to proselyte his beliefs and religion on this blog, and yet denounced my doing the same thing at every turn. (Disclaimer: I am only sharing what I believe, as far as Mormonism. I don’t care to push my religious beliefs on anyone, and thus do not share them. This, of course, makes Wayne very suspicious of me. You’ll see that further down.)

I’ve had Mormon “object” lessons, scathing dismissals, and one woman who steadfastly refused to hear anything I said because her “testimony” told her it was true. “That is what a *testimony* is,” she said. Okay. Who needs common sense and reason?

I’ve heard from Mormon apologists, some nice (Jeff Lindsay), some not so nice (Stanley Barker). I’ve had readers threaten to burn my book, one reader who claimed to have shred my book and sent it to the dump (but only after she finished it, thank goodness), and a few people who told me I needed to “get back to Church.”

Along the way, I also have heard from thousands of people who read and liked the books, and related to them. Many of these people claimed I wrote their story. Many of them thanked me.

There are two sides to every story. Two viewpoints. In my case, living in the land of Zion, I am the Ain’t. You have your Mormon viewpoint. That viewpoint is spoken loud and clear, and from the rooftops every day, in almost every country. I hear it every day from the people who email me and write me.

There is no doubt what that viewpoint is. Then you have the opposing viewpoint. That one you get here on Trapped, and on other ex-Mo blogs. Both sides have the right to speak their mind.

I do not post lies here. I do not twist facts. When I quote stories or news items, I also source them and whenever possible include a link. In short, this stuff WRITES itself, and I just report it the way I see it. Just like the Mormons tell us about the world the way THEY see it. I’m sure they are not lying, either. They just see it a different way.

If you are looking for the pro-Mormon viewpoint, you’ve come to the wrong spot. I’m happy to point you in the right direction. First off, stop at Jeff Lindsay’s blog, Mormanity.

You are welcome here even if you don’t agree with my viewpoint, but know a few things:

**I am not a follower. My friend Wayne assumes because I have referenced Richard Packham’s Web site in the past, that I am his “follower.” I, quite obviously, by Wayne’s reasoning, must be an atheist. Interesting logic. I’ve referenced lots of other Web sites in the past, too, including the Deseret News and The Salt Lake Tribune. Does that mean I am a Newspaperite? Or when I referenced the Mother Jones blog, does that mean I am a Motherite?

**Trapped by the Mormons is a very tongue-in-cheek title, inspired by the campy old silent movie. When I wrote my resignation letter, sent it in, got the official notice I was out, then found myself back in three years later, as two completely different people, well, I considered that the title fit. You can read the whole story here. I know that I am not “physically” trapped here. You don’t need to explain that to me. Neither do I need directions for leaving. I’ve lived here all my life. It’s my home. I have no intention of leaving.

**Bitter is not my middle name. While I willingly admit that ex-Mormons are some of the angriest people I know, that is a relatively NEW stage that most get past fairly quickly. Sure you are angry and bitter when you discover all the lies, cover-ups, and whitewashing that has been done by the Church claiming to be the ONLY TRUE CHURCH in the world. But after a while, you move on. I’m not only not bitter, I think this stuff is FUNNY! Much of it is freaking hilarious. I don’t much like bottom dwellers like Warren Jeffs, and am open about that, but I mess with him, too. You have to laugh, people. Stop taking yourself so seriously. Somehow, at least one person a week MISSES that basic true of Natalie-ism. My mantra is “get over yourself.” Think you’re the biggest fish in the pond? I take my wisdom from George Lucas and Star Wars. There is ALWAYS a bigger fish.

**The bottom line is I like Mormons, and I think there are many, many good Mormons. I do not, however, believe Mormonism to be true, and in fact, believe that the secretive nature of much of their doings, and the emphasis on patriarchy, is abusive and dangerous. It is a closed society, that does not welcome criticism. Everyone knows what happens when there is no system of critique and measure. Now THERE is where you might use a Hitler comparison.

So there you have it. Another bee in the bonnet of the Mormons. I guess it’s my job.

One of the mantras of writing is “Write what you know.” I know Mormons and Mormonism. I was raised Mormon, and have lived here all my life. In addition, I have extensively researched it, and I write about it, and am very careful to be factual and accurate. I’m sure I make mistakes. I’m human. I don’t write about Catholics, because although I know a few Catholics, I have never been one myself. I don’t write about other religions for the same reason, although if I see injustice in any religion, I will cite it.

And if you don’t want to read it? Just a click and it’s gone. Ain’t the Internet great?

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