Teenagers are mutants. I recently shared this little factoid with my daughter and her friend, although I was nice enough to say that teenage BOYS are mutants. They immediately agreed. And I beg ONE of you to argue that statement. I live by a junior high. Both my daughters are currently attending school with boys this age. I also taught SCHOOL for two years. I’m telling you. Mutants.

It’s a wonder they grow into useful, competent, law-abiding adults, albeit ones who send you nasty emails about your negativity and desire to “tear other people’s religion down.” Never mind that they most LIKELY just returned from an LDS mission (or have served said mission in the past) designed entirely to convince easily-duped people that MORMONS HAVE THE ONLY TRUE RELIGION, and only THEY, and anyone else who signs on to board the mother ship, will be going to God’s special spot, i.e, the Celestial Kingdom. The rest of you are doomed to an eternity spent on a place a lot like our present existence. You want your multiple wives and children (heterosexual males only need apply)? Better be joining yourself up quickly. As for me? Outer Darkness is my destination. At least according to the mutants. But I digress.

Teenage boys poke holes in each other with pens and laugh. They walk down the middle of the street and glare at you if you dare to drive your CAR down said street, as though they are invincible. They beat the shit out of each other one minute, and are best friends the next. In short… Mutants. Perhaps they have all their body parts, and no extra ones, but still….

Of course, teenage girls are little better. Consider this conversation I overheard, between Dancing Daughter and Chatter Child.

“So, it was like totally cool, and then I was like, man, you are so, like out there.”

“Oh. My. God. Are you, like, kidding me? She totally said that? That is so like, whoa dude, majorly stupid.”

“Dude! Like, what did you say?”

“I said, like, you are so not cool.”

I have to say, like, what the fuck? (Although not to their faces, because they ARE after all, children. Mutants, but child mutants.)

And there you have it. I have given birth to mutants. Possibly mutant valley girls, who are channeling Cheech and Chong while attempting to give President Bush a run for his money…..

There is no hope for tomorrow. Better go back to Church.

I get some interesting comments on this blog, and every once in a while, I like to address them. Just cuz. After all, surely when they commented they wanted a response. Except for maybe that one lady, who wrote me and wrote me, and everytime I responded she told me not to write her back, but then asked me question after question. Why are you asking me questions if you don’t want to hear my answers? These were NOT rhetorical questions, just FYI.

That was funny. Finally, I told my friend Dej that I was going to ask her WHY she kept writing me, tell her if she didn’t want to hear from me, to stop asking me questions and leave it at that. I also told Dej she would write back with another response, because I suspected it was all about getting the last word. She did. It said, “Goodbye, and don’t write me again.”

And you know what? I didn’t. Her last word is not that important to me, because I am filled with words.

The thing that alarmed me the most was her insistence that she did not need facts, and that I should just accept her declaration that SHE was right, and I was wrong, because of COURSE, that is what a testimony is.

If I ever think I am THE ONLY RIGHT ANSWER, please call the Jeopardy police and have me arrested. While there might be one answer on that show, real life rarely follows suit.

So, on to the random comments.

First there was THIS one.

Shannon Says:

January 29th, 2007 at 6:39 pm e

Natalie,
You have spunk kid. I appericate your energy and boldness. I just feel bad seeing such enthusiasm being channeled to negatively. I hope that you will agree regaurdless of religion we are here to build and help each other, not tear them down.

Uh, thanks for the kudos, Shannon, but I’m not sure why you think it’s “negatively”…. I’m also not sure what I’m here for, but my dog thinks it’s my job to be a human pillow that also feeds and bathes him. The children think I am an ATM and chauffeur, and the psyscho dance moms think I am an emotional punching bag. Nowhere in my job description does it say I’m supposed to “build and help others.” For the RECORD I like people of ALL religions. I only make fun of the ones that are doing stupid THINGS in the name of religion, and also some of the more bizarre tenets of the Mormon religion. Anyone who reads my writing comes here voluntarily. I do not picket, stand outside churches, or post these writings elsewhere. In fact, you can only read them if you come here. How’s that for free agency? Thanks for writing.

This comment was from Hal, regarding the post where I mentioned that if you don’t believe in DNA proving that Native Americans are NOT descendants of Jews (as the Book of Mormon teaches), but rather from Asia, then you don’t get to claim DNA for anything else, including major crime. DNA is DNA. Either you embrace it or you don’t.

Hal wrote:

Now I’m beginning to really like you. No, not a stalker here. Just very entertained. No more DNA for Mormons!!!

Well, thanks, Hal. Glad we’re gonna be pals. I love regular readers here. That one was only common sense. If you are going to claim DNA evidence does not work to prove Native Americans are actually from Asia, and not Jews, as the Book of Mormon teaches, then you don’t get to use DNA for anything else. There should be a law. Alert your congressman.

Brandon wrote, regarding the “Do Mormons Believe in Polygamy” thread:

Some good conversation going on here. It is nice to have a non hate related site discussing the issue. I do not represent the Mormon church, but if you truly want answers to these questions ask any lds leader and or one of those missionaries and they will provide you with what the lds church currently believes on the issue. Sierra’s quote from Gordon B, is real, you can find it on lds.org.

Well, Brandon, I am glad someone FINALLY realizes this is not about hate. I don’t hate Mormons. I also don’t play the “love-them-but-want-to-save-them” card. It’s not that I don’t WANT to save them. I’m just not sure that they need saving, or that saving them is in my grasp. I kinda think everybody is responsible for saving themselves. Just my thoughts. But, as for asking a missionary about what the Mormon Church “currently” believes, well…. Come on. Milk before meat? Heard that one? They are NOT going to tell you the truth. Just accept that. Research it yourself first. You’ll be better off. If you still believe it, more power to you.

From Gerry, about the tape teaching Mormon missionaries Lying 101:

Had you all listened to the entire recording, you might find that the objections stated here are fulfilling their expectations. The Mormon teachings rely on, and expect opposition, thereby ‘proving the religion as true’. Opposition is an expected part of being a Mormon church follower-member.

The Mormon church uses Christ’s example for an example of response (One of the few times they use the Bible.) Should we not do the same?

Titus 3:9
But avoid foolish questions, and genealogies, and contentions, and strivings about the law; for they are unprofitable and vain.

Hebrews 3:4
For every house is built by some man; but he that built all things is God.

The Revelation of John 22:17,18,19
The Spirit and the bride say, “Come.” Let anyone who hears this say, “Come.” Let anyone who is thirsty come. Let anyone who desires drink freely from the water of life.
And I solemnly declare to everyone who hears the words of prophecy written in this book: If anyone adds anything to what is written here, God will add to that person the plagues described in this book.
And if anyone removes any of the words from this book of prophecy, God will remove that person’s share in the tree of life and in the holy city that are described in this book.

Those who know God already have the victory!

Opposition? From Mormons? Church teaching the Mormons to oppose? You are dreaming. Objections filling their expectations? Run thee over to the FAIR boards and hang out. You show remarkable aptitude for Mormon apologetics. But here? Give me a break, Gerry. THE TAPE TOLD THE MISSIONARIES TO TELL THEM THE ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS THEY SHOULD HAVE ASKED (read, questions that YOU THINK THEY SHOULD HAVE ASKED). Not the ones they DID ask. It was black and white. Can’t argue with that, despite what you say.

They are TELLING the missionaries to LIE to prospective converts. If this church is true, and THE ONLY TRUE CHURCH, it should stand up to ANY challenge. It does not. But thanks for writing.

Next! Well, this one was interesting. It is apparently posted by Oleg Barabash who wrote about the joyous experience of converting to Mormonism, right before he was arrested for sexually exploiting a minor. I might note that I have NO way of proving that this is actually Oleg. After all, this is the Net. Just trying to clarify. Oleg could by Clyde, the 250-pound convict. Ya just never know. Anywayyyyyy….

Ok, I guess that now it’s my turn to speak for myself. I can not read all that “bullshit” about myself and sit quiet!

I stated that before and do it one more time. There was nothing sexual in my relationship with my so-called “victim”. If there was, I would guarantee you that I would get more than 240 days in jail. They accused me in lewdness acts, which is nonsense! They told me the victim claimed he saw my privates. My question is: “So what?” Did I masturbate in front of my victim or masturbated his penis? - No! Did I sexually arouse myself or my victim? - No! - THERE WAS NOTHING SEXUAL BETWEEN MY VICTIM AND ME!!! So, what is wrong? I will tell you!!! Your laws and society which is sick with sex abuse paranoia! In Ukraine, I can go to any sauna and see dozens naked men of different ages and no one thinks that it’s a “lewdness”!!! You can go swimming with your friends to the nearest lake in privacy and be completely nude. No one cares! It’s natural.

In America everything is different. You made such a big thing out of it that you even will have a 12 year old boy registered as a “sex offender” because he played a doctor with his younger brother! ( See http://sentencing.nj.gov/downloads/pdf/articles/2006/Oct2006/news06.pdf) It’s sick!

Why such things happen? - You have some people who make business on it. For example, democrats wanted to win elections so what do they do? It’s just enough to accuse Mr. Foley to send “explicit” messages to White House young pages and here we are! - Foley quits from his office and democrats win!!! Great!

I just hope that your society will come back to its senses and stop this nonsense.

Um, Oleg? If you showed your penis to a kid, well, the Democrats were not really responsible. I’ve met more than a few Democrats who were fond of their, uh, appendages, and, interestingly enough, more than a few Republicans who had the same affliction.

As for the specifics of this case, I must admit I not privy to them, so I cannot say you were or were not guilty. But here’s the thing. When I visit Mexico, which I have done twice in the past year, I am particularly mindful of their laws and their culture. You might want to think about that, if you really are Oleg.

So, there you have it. Some interesting comments. Hope you were interested…