Interesting things happening in the Mormon News Arena, that I wanted to share.

Andrew Sullivan at the Daily Dish is taking some hits from the TBMs because he posted pictures of the Mormon Garments, or Jesus Jammies, as we like to call them.

Now, Andrew just found a picture that was already online (you KNOW who you are!) and posted it, so it’s not like he went out and took a picture, and scanned it, etc. But still, the Mobots are up in arms, particularly on THIS site.

What I found most amusing about the Common Consent site is they apparently make hilarious fun of the Scientology beliefs over and over again… And yet cannot see the hypocrisy, because the sun is so blinding on Kolob….. (FYI, here’s a fun little site where you can figure out your age in Kolob time. I’m 61.919999999999995 minutes old. )

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And in other news, I saw this video a week or so ago, but have been too busy to share it. Since Sullivan was getting attacked, he figured he didn’t have too much to lose, so he posted it on his site. This is a fairly amusing rant by an Australian atheist who turns the tables on the Mormon missionary program.

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I also found this site (kudos to Dej for the heads up), run by Jesus’ General, a former Mormon. Using the name JC Christian… Of course.. Very funny stuff. (Warning: the site is called satire. S.A.T.I.R.E. No use in getting your panties in a twist if you don’t like the content.)

The kerfuffle over Andrew Sullivan’s post on Mitt Romney’s magical underwear inspired me to do a weekly series of posts on Mitt’s Mormon beliefs. As the great great grandson of a Mormon prophet, Willford Woodruff, a holder of the Aaronic Priesthood, and an LDS Seminary Bowl champion, I think I’m more than qualified to do so.

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It’s almost December, and I can hardly wait for the Jesus Smith festivities to start. How about you?

Yesterday we attended a matinee performance of Ballet West’s The Nutcracker. Dancing Daughter has a good role as a Party Girl in the annual performance. Mr. Collins was thrilled beyond belief at this opportunity to attend a function where men wear tights and little is left to the imagination, including those abovementioned “nuts.”

After the first fifteen minutes, he was ready to carve his own eyes out with a dull spoon. It would have been less painful. Incidentally, Dancing Daughter is in the first fifteen minutes. He had another hour and forty-five minutes to endure, minus the fifteen minute intermission.

I tried to ease his agony by pointing out plot points, and also dancers we knew who were performing, but to no avail. The Nutcracker was a painful experience for him, and not just because of the name. He has requested she not try out next year. Like that’s gonna happen.

Also present was DD’s older sister, Chatter Child, who brought along a friend. Both 14, they were fixated on the men in tights. They could not look away, and yet they were repelled by the sight. They are still at that age when staring at a man’s, er, bulge is unnatural and disgusting–PRAISE JESUS–and they simply couldn’t pay attention to the marvelous dancing. At least when the men in tights were out there.

The comment, “Eww, Mom, that is just not natural,” struck me as rather amusing.

“Actually,” I said, “It’s pretty natural. Just about as close as you get to natural without going naked.”

This was followed by a whole chorus of “Ewwwwws.”

We have to get our kicks somewhere.

“….he said he’s tired of bearing his testimony. He said he can bear it in his sleep now, and it’s just losing all its meaning. He wants to come home.”

“Did he call his parents?”

“Yes, they went to the MTC and his dad gave him a blessing. Told him he can’t come home. He tried to reason with them, but he’s doing the Lord’s work now. They told him he was just homesick.”

“Well, of course he can’t come home. We’ll pray for him.”

“But he’s not happy, Mom. He misses me. And I miss him.”

“So what, he comes home and you marry a man who couldn’t even finish his mission? I don’t think so.”

Over the river and through the woods, to grandmother’s house we go….

It’s Thanksgiving tomorrow. We don’t really have to go through any woods to get to Grandma’s house. I thought I should clarify that upfront. You know how misleading things can be these days.

Perhaps I could tell you HOW I am going to GET to Grandma’s house, IF I was going to go there, which of course I would never, ever do.

Or I could just be honest. That, however, does not appear to be one of my most endearing qualities, at least if you ask the regular commenters on my blog.

Nonetheless, I was overjoyed to see the OJ book canceled, although the truth is, it doesn’t HURT HIM. He still got paid. It’s “blood money,” as he readily acknowledged. As he proclaims his “innocence,” claiming he only agreed to write the book to secure his children’s futures, I have to ask, “Gee, would you also like to own up to being Jack the Ripper? I believe they are still looking for THAT guy.” And perhaps a few others. Could we sign you up for those, OJ?

But on to Thanksgiving. I really am going to Grandma’s house for the dinner.

My mom lives in the same town where we reside, and so does Mr. Collins’s mom. Both, about five minutes away, although in different directions.

I always get asked to bring vegetables. Raw vegetables. Why could that be? You can’t ruin those….

Today, Dancing Daughter had her first Nutcracker performance, a matinee for special needs students, and it went very well.

The holiday season is getting off to a great start.

And I am wishing EACH AND EVERY Trapped denizen a joy-filled, lovely, Thanksgiving Day. And if you are not a United States citizen, I still wish you a wonderful day.

Uh, or IF I was a soft-hearted, warm, caring person, this is what I would tell you:

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

I’m still on my “No ‘M’ word kick, so I thought I’d take a minute and share with all of you a few of the things I’ve learned after spending time on the Internet. Incidentally, I FINALLY negotiated Myspace correctly, and I am NOW there!! Check it out.
http://www.myspace.com/nataliercollins

Now, on to the TILFTI.

1. Africa is a dangerous place. SCORES of my relatives have died there. I don’t know them, and have no idea how they got there, but nonetheless, it appears to be true. Coincidentally, they are all quite wealthy. And they want to give ME that money!

2. A lot of other people from Africa ALSO want to give me money. It’s a reward, you see, for helping them secret millions out of THEIR country.

3. Horny housewives want to meet ME! They are lonely. They are also apparently bi-sexual, and not too picky.

4. I need Viagra.

5. There is a young boy in England who is dying, and his wish is to get into the Guiness Book of World Records for getting the most postcards/greeting cards/business cards. Please send yours now.

6. I can work from home! Stuffing envelopes really DOES make money!

7. Hot stock tips are regularly sent out as spam in emails. Whoulda thunk it?

8. I can get abovementioned Viagra WITHOUT a prescription. And it’s perfectly safe! This applies to a lot of other drugs, too.

9. “What” is actually spelled “wut.”

10. Why bother to write words out when you can use acronyms instead? In fact, I no longer laugh. I just LOL. It takes less time.

11. LOL can also be interpreted as “I have absolutely no interest in what you are saying, or have no idea how to answer this, so I will just LOL and you will think I find you vastly amusing.”

12. Web sites are a great tool, however, you will also attract numerous amounts of people who:

a. Neither like you or agree with you, and in some cases think you are the anti-Christ.

b. Think you are their soulmate, soul sister, etc., and want to call you on the phone and chat.

c. Want you to publish their book for them. Or agent it. Or just read it and then tell the world how it deserved to be both agented and published. (Disclaimer: I do not work as an agent, nor do I publish books. I also do not, for legal reasons, read other people’s unpublished works. If you want a blurb, contact my agent.)

d. Are pretty cool, and just want to tell you how much they enjoyed your book, your writing, your Web site, your recipe for funeral potatoes, etc.

13. PoppaZoppa is a very addictive game. So is Goldminer. It is hard to work while the lure of PZ is glaring at me, flashing at me, begging me to come play! (Thank God I got over that addiction to Zuma. I would never have gotten ANY work done!)

So tell me, what have YOU learned from the Internet?