Two Mormon Missionaries Raped
This is not a light subject, so forgive me if I forgo my usual levity.
TWO FEMALE MISSIONARIES were raped, beaten, and one was shot. This happened in South Africa, according to ABC-4. One was from Kenya, and the other from California. This is a very, very sad case, and one has to ask, “Is sending these ‘children’ out to proselytize’ really safe?” What kind of angst will these young women bear the rest of their lives? I grew up in the era of the “it’s better to die than to give up your chastity,” but I don’t think that is pushed so much right now. Nevertheless, it is there, for anyone to see.
I know many young women had a hard time living with a rape, especially after hearing the teachings and counsel of LDS leaders. Here are a few of those.
Not only is safety an issue, but how will these victims deal with this terrible tragedy when they heal physically? Mentally, they have a long road ahead, particularly considering LDS teachings.
Consider these quotes:
“Loss of virtue is too great a price to pay even for the preservation of ones life - better dead clean, than alive unclean. Many is faithful the Latter-day Saint parent who has sent a son or a daughter on a mission or otherwise out into the world with the direction: ‘I would rather have you come back in a pine box with your virtue than return alive without it.’”–Apostle Bruce R. McConkie, Mormon Doctrine (all editions), page 124.
” . . . Your virtue is worth more than your life. Please young folk, preserve your virtue even if you lose your lives. Do not tamper with sin . . . do not permit yourselves to be led into temptation.”–President David O. McKay, quoted in THE MIRACLE OF FORGIVENESS by Spencer W. Kimball
“…There is no true Latter-day Saint who would not rather bury a son or daughter than to have him or her lose his or her chastity — realizing that chastity is of more value than anything else in all the world.”–Heber J. Grant, quoted in THE MIRACLE OF FORGIVENESS by Spencer W. Kimball
“Also far-reaching is the effect of loss of chastity. Once given or taken or stolen it can never be regained. Even in forced contact such as rape or incest, the injured one is greatly outraged. If she has not cooperated and contributed to the foul deed, she is of course in a moe favorable position. There is no condemnation where there is no Voluntary participation. It is better to die in defending one’s virtue than to live having lost it without a struggle.”–Spencer W. Kimball, THE MIRACLE OF FORGIVENESS
“… For behold, many of the daughters of the Lamanites have they taken prisoners; and after depriving them of that which was most dear and precious above all things, which is chastity and virtue–”–Moroni 9:9
“The victim must do all in his or her power to stop the abuse. Most often, the victim is innocent because of being disabled by fear or the power or authority of the offender. At some point in time, however, the Lord may prompt a victim to recognize a degree of responsibility for abuse. Your priesthood leader will help assess your responsibility so that, if needed, it can be addressed. Otherwise the seeds of guilt will remain and sprout into bitter fruit. Yet no matter what degree of responsibility, from absolutely none to increasing consent, the healing power of the atonement of Jesus Christ can provide a complete cure.”
- Apostle Richard G. Scott “Healing the Tragic Scars of Abuse,” General Conference, Ensign, May 1992
“Of course, a mature person who willingly consents to sexual relations must share responsibility for the act, even though the other participant was the aggressor. Persons who consciously invite sexual advances also have a share of responsibility for the behavior that follows. But persons who are truly forced into sexual relations are victims and are not guilty of any sexual sin.”
- First Presidency Letter to General Authorities, Regional Representatives, and other priesthood leadership, 7 Feb. 1985
These girls are going to need a lot of therapy. My heart goes out to them.
October 8th, 2006 at 9:50 am
The world has come a long way in it’s views and treatment of rape. While the progression of post you’ve shared here shows a TAD BIT of enlightenment the Mormon leadership is still two things. 1) In the dark ages 2) Male.
Maybe if they’d been raped themselves they’d feel differently about the crimes that are committed against the faithful women, teens, and little girls who’ve been out powered, beaten down, raped, and reviled. Vengence and judgement are the Lord’s, not a bunch of old self righteous, hipocritical men.
Thank you for sharing Natalie. My heart goes out to these young women. Rape is a terrible crime, that strips away your joy, self image, safety, and today even your life if the vile men who did this were diseased. I pray they will find open loving arms that will hear them out, help them recover, and become stronger for these crimes against them.
October 8th, 2006 at 1:58 pm
What a terrible tragedy to have happen. My heart goes out to those poor girls. One thought though, they didn’t voluntarily give up “their virtue”, the very definition of rape means it was against their will, so your quotes are kind of unrelated since they seem to be for circumstances where one voluntarily gives up “their virtue”. Just my impression.
October 8th, 2006 at 4:45 pm
First, my heart goes out to them, and I hope they get the help they truely need to heal and go on.
Just an aside, I didn’t know mormon’s had women missionaries. Like all other things mormon, I thought this was a “man” thing.
October 9th, 2006 at 10:52 am
Lindsay,
The emphasis PUT on that virtue, and trying to defend it with your life, if necessary, is what I was emphasizing. Although they didn’t give it up voluntarily, they will still suffer knowing it was “taken.” If VIRTUE is of utmost importance, how do you feel once it is taken? Or you don’t have it anymore? How are they supposed to heal?
We heard countless stories growing up, about how girls who wore their skirts too short, or wore immodest clothing, found themselves raped. It’s a “blaming the victim” mentality that needs to stop.
October 10th, 2006 at 10:38 am
So if one of those asking girls to die for their virtue were to be mugged and their wallet and money stolen they would say they were the victim of a crime. Why then are the girls not just a victim of a crime I am having trouble following the logic. What is the male side of this virtue issue if a man were to masterbate would this not be immoral. And only men who have nerver had an ejaculation can have a temple wedding I would guess there would be plenty of empty temples. I guess following their logic I would them surmise that if a young man had a nocturnal ejaculation then his virtue was taken by a impure thought and his virtue would be gone as well. Of course we know this will never happen as the church is male driven and everyone knows you can’t mess with the good ol boys.
October 11th, 2006 at 12:15 pm
Bob good argument, but I have to take it one further. If the virtue clause of Mormon virtue were to effect males, then wouldn’t it have to be only men who’ve never had an erection could be temple bonded? A woman only has to be molested or raped [I’m assuming 1) loss of the hymen 2) and the subsequent knowledge obtained the vital elements of loss of virture] to loose her virtue. Then wouldn’t a hard-on be the loss of male virtue?
Bob is soooo totally right about this never happening in this male driven church.
October 14th, 2006 at 11:14 pm
Would a rational thought from a Mormon about sex qualify as one of Nat’s “oxymormons”?
October 15th, 2006 at 3:23 pm
“Loss of virtue is too great a price to pay even for the preservation of ones life - better dead clean, than alive unclean.”
I wasn’t aware that sexual assault was a matter of ‘Let’s Make a Deal’. How ’bout raped AND dead with the assailant not really picky about the order of operations? What planet do these idiots live on?
October 17th, 2006 at 3:45 pm
First, as with everyone else, my heart goes out to those girls. Second, I agree with some of the posters in that the debate is ridiculous - completely risiculous - those women were raped - perhaps the worst crime on the planet next to murder. The USA - the most advanced society on the planet - treats rape as ilegal and it is one of the most severly punished crimes. That is the voice of 300 milion of the most educated people on the planet. Clearly it is wrong, horribly wrong, and i think this debate is off base as it is not an issue which can really be debated. It is wrong. Plain wrong. And anyone who says differently is completely off base. Third, is there anything established for sending donations for these women - i would be interested in information on that. Finally - i also did not realize that there were women missionaires in the LDS religion.
Don
October 24th, 2006 at 5:21 pm
I agree with you Lindsey and my prayers and hopes go out to them as well. It is a tragedy that in our society we have such mislead people. It makes you wonder what God really has in mind for the daily routines of our missionaries and would allow such a thing to happen. Not sure what i would do.
November 14th, 2007 at 4:59 am
I’m doing a project for uni on Mormon Missionaries and I just came by thisweb site. I too feel terrible for what happened to those poor girls but I was also surprised at the idiotic comments people posted here. Like Lindsay said the church is condemming giving up your virtue not it being Taken. A friend of mine was in the same situation and the support she received from the church was overwhelming. Furthermore she was never made to feel dirty or as a sinner. The women in the church were so helpful and understanding. The church offered a professional psychologist to help her deal with the situation.
On the comments about the male side of things I dont think is worth even mentioning since men control everything Mormon or not, plus let them make all the decisions they’re the ones that will have to answer for all the wrong ones not the women!!! By the way I’m not a member.
November 22nd, 2007 at 10:15 pm
“One thought though, they didn’t voluntarily give up “their virtue”, the very definition of rape means it was against their will, so your quotes are kind of unrelated since they seem to be for circumstances where one voluntarily gives up “their virtue”.”
Your point is valid Lindsay, but I don’t agree. Telling women outright that they’re going to be viewed as sluts if they get raped doesn’t win fans–or converts. I would say the listed quotes are related because they are sometimes parroted forth to rape victims. Which is, what’s the word…cruel.
What is actually taught and the ‘official’ doctrine are two different things. I’m an exmo, and I’m female, and I can honestly say that we (the YW) were taught that rape is the same as pre-marital consensual sex, and involves the same type of loss of ‘virtue’.
I’m sick about this story–it’s extremely saddening. On the other hand, more and more LDS sex scandals seem to be coming to light. Makes me feel like maybe I should have said something about mine.
November 22nd, 2007 at 10:19 pm
Slight correction (I apologize for the double-commenting, Natalie)–
I was not raped, but I came extremely close. Narrow misses. No help from the bishop, no help from my family. It makes my reaction to all the many stories like this a little more extreme.
No, I did not dress provocatively. It was a family member, and I escaped due to disobeying my grandmother and locking the bedroom and bathroom doors when needed.
February 14th, 2008 at 8:40 am
The 2 sister missionaries chose to stay out instead of returning home. Dont use this event to promote your one sided narrow minded ideas. To take such a horrible event and twist it to make it prove your bogus beliefs makes you more heartless then any of these repugnant cenerios.
Rape is NOT a loss of virtue. Every lie on this page will have severe concequences.
July 16th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
Thank you Elder…. your comment was exactly how I feel.. these comments are one sided and they are only looking at what they want to believe not what the actualy church teaches. RAPE IS NOT LOSS OF VIRTUE. you did not willingly give your self up it was taken from you. you will not be judged for willful sins committed against you
July 16th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
Elder “yadda yadda lie yadda yadda”
cam “oh wise Elder, oh yes!”
azteclady “huh”
Srsly, did any of you guys noticed how long ago the original post is dated? Plus, the passages Natalie quotes pretty much take care of the idiotic “rape is not a loss of virtue” spiel.
What, you can’t read the “better dead clean than alive unclean” bit? Seems rather clear to me.
August 29th, 2008 at 11:51 am
Elder and cam are right “RAPE IS NOT A LOSS OF VIRTUE.”
Natalie you’re stupid and unfortunately therapy won’t help.