In a truly embarassing moment for the LDS Church, it has been discovered that a sex offender–who is currently serving a jail term–has an article in the October issue of the Ensign Magazine.

In a story in the Deseret News, which I am quoting MOSTLY because the opening paragraph is a HILARIOUS attempt to CLEAR THE CHURCH OF ALL BLAME BEFORE ANYONE READS FURTHER THEREBY MAKING CLEAR THEY HAD NO GUILT, they emphatically state that there was just nothing–NOTHING–they could have done to stop this. Interesting journalistic tactic.

Here’s the opener.

The October issues of the LDS Church’s widely circulated Ensign and Liahona magazines contain an article written by a sex offender whose arrest and conviction came after the magazines’ editors conducted background checks.

Okay, now that we’ve made that VERY VERY CLEAR, now you can read further. Anyone who had ANY doubt whether or not the Deseret News was unbiased can now cross that concern off their list. BIAS is the newspaper’s middle name.

Here’s part of the ACTUAL story, which is what SHOULD be told.

The story by Oleg Barabash describes how as a recent convert in Ukraine he distanced himself, then became active again in his new found faith. After serving a mission in England, Barabash attended Brigham Young University and worked at the LDS Church’s Missionary Training Center.

Barabash, 27, was sentenced in August to 240 days in jail for two class A misdemeanors of lewdness involving a child. Four second-degree felony charges were dropped in exchange for the guilty plea of sexually abusing a 13-year-old boy.

Now, personally, I don’t really think the issue here is whether this should even BE an embarassment for the Church. They didn’t molest this child, Barabesh did. And since, as I’ve stated MANY MANY TIMES, Mormons are first and foremost humans, the fact HE is the scummiest of the pond-scum sucking scums, does not really reflect on the LDS Church.

And if they did indeed do a background check, and he was INDEED arrested later, after the article was accepted, as they have stated, this situation was ENTIRELY out of their control.

Although you would think God would have AT LEAST given them a heads up, beings as they are the members of HIS only true church.

There were two things about this situation that really bothered me.

1. They are doing BACKGROUND CHECKS on people who write for Church publications but NOT on people who actually WORK with children across the world on a daily basis. Which means they believe there is more danger that people might READ something they shouldn’t, and leave the church, than there is that a child could potentially be molested and abused!

2. They are, quite obviously, rewriting things for people, putting words into people’s mouths, trying to spread the FAITH TO OTHER NEW MEMBERS, without really looking into OR RESEARCHING what they are doing. Why do I say this?

See, the thing is, I did a Google search on Oleg, and came up with this.

Oleg had himself a little blog on a place called Campushopper.com

There, he wrote:

I’m a BYU student. Have you heard about such university? Yes? Good!!! No? Bad!!! It is somewhere in America, in square state with a lot of mountains called Utah. Does it ring the bell. Anyway, I love this university and it was my dream to study here so here I am. I guess, this is the best university in the world. What else?

Ah, you want to know where I am from. Right? Because you’ve noticed couple of mistakes in the text. Well, do not get surprised. It’s because I am a crazy foreigner. Oh, you want to know what country I am from. It’s somewhere in Eastern Europe. It starts with U. So pause now and do not read further but try to check your geography knowledge. One clue. We had orange revolution in December 2004. By the way I took part in it. So I guess I am also a revolutionary. So, did you guess? I hope you did. No? It’s Ukraine!!! I speak Ukrainian as my first language. Now, you want to know if Ukrainian is like Russian. No!!! It is not!!! For goodness sake. It’s much better!!! No offence to Russians here. But as a Ukrainian I should be proud of my country and my language. Now, I’m also a nationalistic.

How long I’ve being in the United States? To be more precise, it’s 13 months as of February 2006.

Oleg, did you serve a mission? Who me? Would you not marry me if I didn’t? Oh, you just want to know. Ok, here is the answer. Yes, I did. I served in England London South Mission. So, I had some chance to practice my English. As you probably guessed. Excited? No? Good!!!

You might have noticed Oleg’s English is not all that good. Wonder how he managed to get published in the Ensign? I have sources are digging for the actual article, so we can compare the writing.

I also happened up on the actual details of Oleg’s trial, but the original Salt Lake Tribune article is no longer available. If you want to read a rather funny recounting–please NOTE! The actual CRIME Oleg committed is NOT EVEN REMOTELY funny. But the take this blogger took is–then go here.

My suggestion to the LDS Church? Spend more money trying to actually KEEP your children safe. Do background checks on youth leaders of all ages and stripes. Avoid a few of those billion and million dollar lawsuits.

I do not understand why an organization that is so large and powerful is MORE WORRIED ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE SAY ABOUT IT, then whether or not someone is fondling their children during Scout meetings!!

This was a faux pas. A BIGGER FAUX PAS was admitting they regularly do background checks and SCREENINGS on writers, but NEVER ON YOUTH LEADERS. Can written words really do more damage than molestation and fondling? Nope. Sorry.

I found this hilarious parody of Mormon Missionaries on the Sons of Perdition Web site. I’m still laughing. These guys are funny.

What if Al Qaeda, instead of putting out “boring” videotapes, recruited like Mormons do?

Must watch.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6RrTSqQE8Y

Yes, it’s time again for comments from Mormons who find my blog, and then commence to ripping their eyes out from the horror–THE HORROR–of having to read such lies!

Today’s comments are from our new friend, Lynn.

Her first comment landed on the blog post where I wrote about my year end reminder that I was TRAPPED BY THE MORMONS.

You might remember that I mentioned my neighbor came by with a chocolate bar and a card from the Relief Society. On a sad side note, that same neighbor, whom I like very much, is recovering from cancer, so send your good wishes her way.

But back to the story. Our new friend Lynn wrote:

How nice to know that no matter where you are there are people who care and are willing to help you in anyway….by the way… if you tell the RS or the bishopric you want no contact from there members at all…. they will stop contacting you. Maybe you like it because it gives you something to write about.

Can I just say, WTF? How are these people helping me? The only thing a chocolate bar does is HELP MY THIGHS GROW, Lynn. They did not offer to shovel my walk, or tend my children. There was NO help offered. And if you had paid the SLIGHTEST iota of attention to my blog, you would note that I HAVE requested no contact, and I have HAD MY NAME REMOVED and it did not one damn bit of good. Not only am I BACK on the roles, but I am BACK TWICE, both under my maiden name and also under my MARRIED name, and I ALSO have a son named Robert that no one CAN LOCATE, mostly because HE DOES NOT EXIST. Phew. Okay. Hopefully I won’t have to say that again. A girl can dream.

Do your research, Lynn. Sheesh. Not only that, but you got so fixated on my ingratitude to the local Mormons and their chocolate that you TOTALLY missed Calendar Kitty. Have you no sense of humor?

Then she wrote this:

You said, “They believe that anyone who has voluntarily left the religion is an anti-Mormon.” This is for sure not true. I dont’ know one LDS member that believes this!!!

Geez, Lynn, where do you go to Church? Outer Mongolia? Now THERE they might not believe that. Other than that, what I stated is pretty much true.

And Lynn’s last little note:

The Church has NEVER said the members cannot have another ceremony. Some do. The reason why some don’t want to is when you are sealed in the Temple of the Lord it is for time and all eternity and you are sealed by a preisthood holder who has the authority from God to seal you together forever, not just until time parts us. Nothing can compare to a temple ceremony, so why have another one. I am about to be married for the first time in the Chicago Temple. I couldn’t imagine not having my husband forever, not just on earth. Only my immediate family are members of the church, and we love and respect all our non-member family members. They of course cannot enter the temple of the Lord right now in there lives, but I will have a short ring ceremony at my reception and explain to them the importance of marraige in the Lords house. Members are not on high horses or think those who cannot enter are not righteous or good people. Of course this is not true in anyway. But, it is true that the temple is a sacred place of the Lord. In it are the most sacred ordinances done on this earth. Those who enter must be prepared and must be worthy to receive those blessings the Lord has prepared for them in His house. Anyone can one day be worthy to enter and the Lord wants all of His children to one day be worthy to enter.

Muuuwaahhhhahahhhhaaaaaaaaa. I just about spewed on my computer when I really sat down and read this one. I just kind of glanced over it before. But are you freaking kidding me? (Did you notice how well I am doing on my bid not to use profanity so much?)

So glad you are going to explain to your NON MEMBER family and friends why they can’t see you married, and how they are not currently WORTHY to enter THE HOUSE OF THE LORD, but how important it is, and how much more special YOU are because you get to wear ugly underwear. But you aren’t on any fucking high horse. Ooops. I swore. It’s hard to control it in the face of such sheer arrogance.

You are talking about a church who keeps their temple ceremony SECRET because it’s so silly. You are talking about a church that has to resort to LYING and DECEPTION to convert prospective members. YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT A CHURCH that consistently revises and hides its history.

This is truth? “Yes, we have on the only True Church. But I must lie to you first to lure you in while I convince you.”

Sheesh.

Polygamy is fairly widespread throughout Utah, and I don’t know many people who can’t tell you a polygamy story.

My children went to school with some Kingston children. An old friend worked for a polygamist. Another lived around the corner from a polygamist family.

YES, the mainstream LDS Church, the one that puts a claim on the term “Mormon,” does not–at this time–practice or condone temporal polygamy.

Spiritual polygamy is, of course, a different matter. This goes on every day, in temples everywhere. But they do follow the laws of the land. They also believe, however, that it is a tenet that is required for entrance into the Celestial Kingdom.

You will find mainstream Mormons who will argue this with you. Until they research it. Then they just shut up.

But the truth is, polygamy is pervasive throughout the state.

And the world is waking up to this fact.

Consider this article in the Chicago Tribune.

From the article:

Mainstream Mormons in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, with 12 million members worldwide, have asserted that all polygamous denominations–including Jeffs’ Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints–are aberrations in a state where the influential Mormon Church suspended the practice of polygamy more than a century ago. But Utah’s attorney general, pro-polygamy activists and other experts estimate there are 40,000 people living in polygamous families or communities like this one across the Western U.S.–with a large portion of them residing in suburban Utah.

Although it is rare that allegations of abuse are as systemic or egregious as those reported in the community led by Jeffs, virtually every other polygamous sect practicing in Utah today has been linked to financial, sexual or spiritual improprieties. Federal grand juries in Arizona and state investigators in Nevada are probing polygamist practices in those states, according to media reports.

This one isn’t going away, folks. You can thank Warren Jeffs for that. It’s interesting that polygamists are coming out of the woodwork–sorta–to defend their belief in polygamy. The SAME belief espoused by Brigham Young and Joseph Smith.

In the wake of such comments, Utah polygamists have come forward in unprecedented force to defend their faith, values and lifestyle. They say plural marriage fulfills the mission of all Mormons to be fruitful and multiply and to ascend to the highest reaches of heaven. They say it breaks their hearts that the mainstream church in 1890 abandoned polygamy–or what one expert called “the process of polishing the soul”–to appease the federal government and ensure Utah would earn statehood. They point to such communities as Eagle Mountain and Rocky Ridge, where polygamous families appear to be happy and prosperous, often with multiple wives of one husband living in palatial homes with adjoining yards.

“We’re really sickeningly boring,” said Jane, another wife to the same husband as Mary. “There is no high drama. We are the people next door–it’s just that there are more of us.”

Modern-day polygamists are living the MORMON faith the way JOSEPH SMITH and BRIGHAM YOUNG taught it. Which is why it is so absurd to say there is “no such thing as fundamental Mormonism.” Sorry, LDS.org. It’s not flying.

When I first discovered I found the whole Joseph Smith story a little sketchy, I figured it would be easy enough to straighten out my concerns. A little research, some deep thinking, and all would be right with the world.

Instead, I discovered that:

A) I was not supposed to be researching it
B) Only those with strong testimonies could visit other churches
C) I needed to spend a lot more time on my knees talking to God, and less time reading books

I heard this from:

A) My parents
B) My seminary teacher
C) My parents, my bishop, my seminary teacher, my young women’s leaders, my Sunday school teacher, etc.

My concerns however were deep enough that I chose to research, and what I found convinced me, beyond any shadow of any doubt, that Mormonism was one of the greatest hoaxes ever perpetrated on Mankind. Right next to that whole Scrubbing Bubbles hoax, because I am telling you, those bubbles do NOT do the work for you. I have tried it. I know.

When I revealed my skepticism to the abovementioned people, the word was overwhelmingly, STOP. Stop reading, unless it’s Church approved. Stop researching, unless it’s faith-promoting. Don’t listen, unless they are telling you it’s TRUE. But that sort of makes research a little futile, don’t you think.

Because, in short, they were telling me to JUST BELIEVE IT, BECAUSE WE SAY IT’S TRUE nameofjesuschristamen.

In any other aspect of my life, my father would not encourage me to jump in feet first and not first weigh the options and look at the pros and cons and KNOW what I am getting into. IN all other aspects of my father’s life, and my mother’s too, they are quite sensible.

Except for here. For they want to believe. It gives them peace. It gives them answers. It gives them purpose.

I guess I understand that. I’m kind of a “pantser,” I guess, because I don’t really need all the answers. You won’t find me driving off cliffs, of course, but I don’t have to know what is going to happen when I die. My big concern, rather, is what will happen to my CHILDREN when I die.

I’m not so worried about my salvation. I have tried my best to live a good life. I’ve tried to instill good Christian values in my children, while not really embracing “Christianity” myself. I don’t see the sense in praying to a God to save us, when he pretty much does what he wants no matter WHAT you want. Yesterday was the funeral of an 18-month-old girl who was strangled in a blind cord while at the babysitter’s house. God’s will? Apparently, according to Mormons and Christians alike. So what is the point of prayer, if it is not to ease our own minds and help us get through dark moments?

Don’t get me wrong. I still find myself praying. I do. But I’ve come to accept that what is going to happen will happen. And Christians, that is what YOU believe, too. You just don’t want to admit it.

I’ve discovered that along the way, there are a lot of people that feel the same way I do. Some of those people are Mormon. Some of them are even ACTIVE Mormons. They go to Church. They hold Temple recommends. They participate in priesthood and temple rituals. But they are not believers.

They sit among you Mormons at Church. It could be your neighbor. It could be the doctor that everyone holds up as the “well he believes it and he’s smart so it must be true” example. It could be your home teacher. It could be your Elder’s Quorum president.

Why would they do this? Because Mormonism is a culture. In Utah, especially, it is very difficult to NOT be Mormon. It is hard on kids. It is hard in business. It is just hard.

Raising my children as non-Mormons in Mormon Utah has been a challenge. So much so, that for a while they attended a private Christian school.

Now, my youngest is in a public school, and thriving. She is strong, willful, determined, and she wanted the opportunity to go to the school in our neighborhood, rather than the small, Christian school she had been attending. She knows many of her friends are Mormon. She knows they know she is not. And as of yet, it has not been an issue. I feel she is strong enough now, with the base I have given her, that she can declare her own feelings with honesty and yet give those of different beliefs space to believe in what they believe.

I think the days when Mormons and Utah were isolated are at an end. The world is looking in, and this closed culture is opening up.

Even in the past twenty years things have changed tremendously. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?