From the Mormon Hatemail Bag….
Every once in a while I get empassioned emails from teenage Mormons who are very, very upset with me, solely because I write about Mormonism in a way that is not faith promoting.
These emails do not anger me. In fact, they sadden me. Ick. Just saying that, I think of all the Mormons who have written me and told me how sad I make them, but still, it does make me sad. It’s a sad-o-rama.
Annnyway, I got this comment on my blog yesterday.
ok, I have not read your book, but by the way you are talking you hate mormons. Why? Did we hurt you? Did you fell pain that a mormon gave you? I mean if so, geton with life people make mistakes i am sure they ae sorry but if not, why do you hate me? I am mormon, do you hate me? I find that being angry and writing and posting mean things about ones religion is rude and cruel and right now I am angry but I will calm down and read out of the Book of Mormon, I will pray and I will have peace. To you, I say you might think about reading the Book of Mormon and praying and by the way, I have a testimony of this chrch, a strong one at that. And I am not even in highschool yet and I know this church is true and I know it is the true church, the only true church.
First of all, I have to cite that little ditty always thrown at me. The one where they say, “Someone offended you, so you left. Remember, it’s not about the people, it’s about the Church.” Well, they are right. “It’s NOT about the people, dear, it’s the CHURCH.”
The saddest thing about this comment is that ONE DAY this teenager will be a LOT older, and it’s entirely possible she will be thinking for herself, and she will have to look back and CRINGE at the things she said.
I can still recite the “testimony” that was given to me as a child. “I know this Church is true. I know it’s the only true Church. I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God. I love my mom and dad. Yada yada yada. Nameofjesuschristamen.”
But the problem is, this TESTIMONY was never mine. It was handed to me by my parents, and my bishops, and my church leaders, and church teachers, but it never really belonged to me. I was not supposed to question it, or research it, or in any way validate that it was mine.
I was just TOLD that it was truth, and that was that. I was expected to accept it and spout it regularly, much like this girl did to me.
When I was fifteen, on one of the rare days when I didn’t skip Seminary class (It was held DURING school hours, in a building just off the public high school grounds. I believe kids STILL attend Seminary here in Utah, during their school day.) I asked the teacher why I couldn’t research other churches.
He told me that for someone like him, with a strong testimony, researching other churches would be fine. But with my weak testimony, it would be a very, very bad idea. I could be led astray.
And I never understand that. Surely, if it’s true, it would hold up to a little investigation?
But that is not the case. In reality, it doesn’t hold up, as has been proven by DNA evidence, and scholarly research, and the test of time. To be a believing Mormon, one must go on faith and faith alone. Read the Book of Mormon, pray, and wait for the burning of the bosom.
Whatever you do, do NOT research the BoM, or the LDS teachings. Just accept what you are taught. When the prophet speaks, the thinking has been done.
This has never been my way. And it is not the way of many, many others, who have left the LDS Church, but are still proudly counted as members. Perhaps one day, my teenage friend will look back and think, “Wow, did I really write that comment? I am so embarassed. I am so saddened by what I believed to be true, and the sheer arrogance that it took for ME, a teenage girl, to write a 43-year-old woman and tell her JUST how wrong she was.”
Or maybe not. Some people never do look back and wonder at their arrogance. But I know I did. I remember that I wanted to put up a picture of the LDS Temple in my college apartment, and didn’t really understand why my Greek roommate was offended. The picture was a gift from my parents, who of course, were trying to keep me in line. Moving away from them, I could now make my own choices about my birth religion. They could no longer control what I heard, or saw, or when I went to church. So they gave me the temple to remind me about the testimony they had also given me. I suppose the reason I left it behind was because it never belonged to me.
Now, of course, I understand why my roommate was upset about the picture, and did not want it on our living room wall. I often cringe that even as I was questioning, and wondering, and preparing to leave, I was still so arrogant, as trained from birth, to believe I had the only true thing, that I did not understand what respect is.
Perhaps the reason I keep getting birthday cookies and visits from the Mormons, and why they will not take my name off their records, is my payback for the arrogance of my youth, although in my defense, that was also given to me.
There is an inherent lack of respect Mormons show for other religions and belief systems. Baptizing dead people into the your religion is the EPITOME of arrogance. And yet they feel, “Who WOULDN’T want to be Mormon? After all, it is the only true church.”
It’s a mindset that has no signs of going away.
February 20th, 2006 at 1:25 pm
Once you move away from Utah the suffocating presence of the Momos all but disappears. Other than seeing the twin space ships (Momo temple) on I-5 and reading your blog, they don’t exist anymore. Occasionally I’ll see two guys on bikes dressed in cheap, black suits pedaling along the roadway. I always think of Ivory soap, Jell-O salad and weeping testimonies. It is such a treat to be able to open the door and know the ward teachers aren’t going to be standing there. There are just some people that shouldn’t be at your door; Momos, Jehovah Witnesses, cops and the Fuller Brush man. With the exception of the cop, feel free to answer the door NAKED. It won’t stop them but it’s fun anyway.
Inthenameofthysonjesuschristamen!
February 20th, 2006 at 3:18 pm
LOL…although I am an adult in my thirties, I think this is exactly how I first approached you…I believe a scathing post about me also ensued. I have however, taken the time to really read and think about a lot of the things you have to say. In a lot of cases I agree with you. In a lot of cases I disagree. I do however appreciate the things you give me to think about.
I very strongly believe that there are a lot of LDS members out there that are complete sheep that cannot think for themselves. I also believe that there are a lot of LDS members out there that are not like that (that are deeply thinking and less likely to succumb to “mormon culture” and the follow the leader mentality). I like to think that I am not a mormon drone…actually, I know I am not like that as I apparently frustrate LDS members to the extreme most often than not.
Oh and btw…my birthday greeting (that you may or may not have received by email) was certainly not my way of trying to get you to come back to church…LOL…I hope you didn’t take it that way!
Keep up the great blogging.
K.
February 20th, 2006 at 3:21 pm
Howy you are too good. But I must not be looking when I drive up I-5, because the only spires I can remember seeing were in Boise, and boy what a shocker that is. The local LDS church (I dont’ think) sports them, but darn I will now have to go look.
Natalie, I am so happy to not be standing in your shoes. Most people who email me (even hate mail) know how to proof read and spell. Plus I don’t (as the above alludes to) live in Utah, Mormons are much more relaxed here, a different breed (althought they do a lot,) but then again maybe Mucketies (secretly) don’t count them as true Mormons.
February 20th, 2006 at 7:13 pm
Kris and I actually did get off to a rather rocky start, but wouldn’t ya know it? She stuck around, and I listened, and well, we discovered we aren’t all that different.
I hope I wasn’t scathing about this girl. Truthfully, I do remember what it was like to feel this way.
February 21st, 2006 at 10:57 am
Cele,
The two towers, I believe, are Flash Gordon rocket ships just waiting to take the chosen to the next comet that passes. It’s the Momo temple just off Interstate 5 in La Jolla, CA.
Obrotherwherearen’tthouHowy
February 22nd, 2006 at 9:48 am
Yo Natalie…..you say it just like it is girl. Never fear people because “Jesus does want you for a sunBEAM to shine for him each day”…..and soon POPCORN WILL BE POPPING ON THE APRICOT TREES. Got my name off those records 15 yrs ago. What a good feelin. The minute I am on an airplane and up in the air I get this feeling that someone untied a rope from around my neck. There is just this cloud that floats over Zion that makes a born and raised Utahn feel trapped. It is hard to explain unless you have felt it. I think that kids in Utah drink in high school, do the sex thang and get in trouble just because they are sick of being told how to live their lives from the day they are born. NO ONE is old enough at age 8 or even age 21 to say they belong to THE ONLY TRUE CHURCH. YES the LDS church is an organization of arrogance and big $$$$. Their men take it upon themselves to be the judge of every member. JUST DON’T ASK ANY QUESTIONS. BaaBaaBaa
Hey now they have proclaimed that their members are fat. Now we will have those sisters not only on anti-depressants…..they will be mixing them with diet pills in their diet pepsi. Put that all together with a Suburban full of kids all under the age of 5 ……HELP….hurry draw that zion curtain!!!!!!!
February 23rd, 2006 at 9:16 am
This is a great Blog! It’s great therapy to read your Blog Natalie and to read the comments of others that feel the same as I do about the Mormon Church.
I admire you for being able to live there.
Having moved away from “..Utah we love thee…” in 1982, I could never move back. I love visiting my family, and skiing at Alta, biking in MOAB etc., but I don’t like being surrounded, er, smothered, by the Mormon church influence day in and day out.
I have a comment for Kris. I stayed a momo for years and ignored the weird stuff like polygamy, faithful members eventually becoming Gods themselves et. till it got to a point where I felt the teachings of the church were so incongruent with what I believed about God that I just had to quit.
Thanks for yer comments ya’ll
Del
February 23rd, 2006 at 10:25 pm
“I know it’s true, I know it’s true, I know it’s true….”
My family has been ripped apart by this mantra, and it truly turns my stomach every time I hear it.
Speaking of Saints, Nat, you are a saint to be so gracious to the misguided and brainwashed. I read your book, and your grace shined through there, as well.
February 24th, 2006 at 10:21 pm
Ohandblessthisfoodthatitwillnourishandstrengthourbodiesanddousthegoodweneedmaywegohomeinsafetyinthenameofjesuschristamen………..BORING….NOT SINCERE….SAME OL SAME OL…..NO BRAINER. Just LIKE WATCHING A SOAP…ONE CAN MISS GOING TO THE MO CHURCH FOR 10 YEARS THEN GO THERE FOR SOME REASON….FUNERAL….WEDDING…..NOTHING EVER CHANGES. My fav was fast Sun. What they talkin about FAST….that sucker went on for hours. I swear that place must own WONDER bread also!!!!Put yur shoulder to the wheel push along….do yur duty with a heart full of song….lalala
February 27th, 2006 at 3:43 pm
Del, thanks for the comment…the fact of the matter is that I do not ignore things like those you mentioned. I guess they don’t bother me as much as other people who have felt the need to leave the church; I have talked about my views between “church and gospel” before and am not going to do another pass. I am glad you found your peace by peaving the church, I choose not to leave the church and I don’t believe that makes me any less of a person than anyone else. It still intrigues me though how many people just cannot accept that others choose to stay and the intolerance against them.
K.
February 27th, 2006 at 4:26 pm
Hello Natalie,
I like your post and your comment. I don’t sense any arrogance there and that’s great. Your comments on LDS remind me of other religions. Most, I believe, are like the Mormons in believing that they are the only ones with the truth and THE solution.
Was passing through your site. Thanks for the agent list.
Great day to you!
Clay Duval
February 28th, 2006 at 9:07 am
Kris,
I wholeheartedly agree that staying in the mormon church does not make you any less of a person. What I think is really cool is that you are a thinking person who makes up her own mind and doesn’t follow the “brethren” blindly (3 blind mice?).
Also, I wanted to give you a little moral support by letting you know that others have stayed in the church for years and years and learned to focus on the Gospel/God, not on the church. I just left the mormon church 2 years ago. My 30th anniversery of returning (honorably) from a a 2 year mormon mission was last month.
Del
February 28th, 2006 at 11:46 am
Hi - I just happened onto this site via links from others, and I have to say that as a former Jehovah’s Witness, I can completely relate to your experience. Some of the doctrines may be different, but the elitist attitude and insidious brainwashing is exactly the same, as is immoral and victimizing covering up of crimes by the church heirarchy. The two groups have much in common - including that darned doorbell ringing!
Good job on your site and good luck with your writing career!
February 28th, 2006 at 3:32 pm
Del, I appreciate your comments, thank you. Hehe…3 blind mice…*wink*
K.
February 28th, 2006 at 7:50 pm
Thanks to all for the comments on this post. I found it very fascinating. Great comments from all sides. And welcome to all the new visitors like Rebecca and Clay.
Watch for an updated agent listing coming soon.
October 16th, 2006 at 1:08 am
If we can prove this possibility, then you will be removed, the law states that something bad for the public is outlawed.
November 29th, 2006 at 8:25 pm
Still Being LDS myself, I can understand how the trite examples and the manufacutred living may bother you. I can’t say living in the middle of all of it, that it doesn’t bother me. However I never felt limited to not explore other religions. I often discussed religion with friends and found like many LDS youth their passion for church was lacking. Overall, it didn’t matter what religion you were, Church Sucked.
I was not welcomed nor fostered here in Utah by the LDS community (once again, despite myself being LDS) and was told by children my own age that I wasn’t really LDS as I wasn’t raised in Utah. I would pass this off as childish immaturity if it had gone away over the years I had known these people.
On the otherhand, while I extremely dislike the falsehoods of the people in the church who are trying to fake it until they make it, I love the gospel itsself in the purest form. I enjoy the doctrine and the joy it brings into my life. I’m sorry you felt entraped and disgusted by the lifestyle looking back on it. I can undertstand that the LDS church isnt’ for everyone (like any church, gospel, relgiion etc) I only wish that it could have been a better experience for you over all.
December 28th, 2006 at 4:11 pm
I think that is the hardest part of living in a Mormon town is the arrogance of some of the church members. The young are the absolute worst about it. I’ve tried to explain over and over again that I have no desire to become a Mormon and its always “but its so great, why don’t you want to be.” Because I was raised Church of Christ. How hard is to understand that I’m a different religion?? There is truly no respect at all yet I’m supposed to respect them??? I’ve met about three Mormon girls that I think are wonderful and they are people that I do call friends because they accept and respect that. Its just that the vast majority I’ve met are intolerant. Many can’t have a conversation without bringing up Mormonism. For the first year, I almost started to hate them. Now I know I’m moving in a little over a year so I’m dealing with it.
When we first moved here, people did all these nice things for us but of course, the Book of Mormon was slipped in. When we didn’t convert, people completely ignored us. I’m literally made to feel completely uncomfortable at work because I’m not a Mormon. They tell these seemingly innocent stories that are really veiled attempts at insulting me. Every conversation is spent listening to them on the moral high horse. Its really annoying.
I think its sad that so many of them can’t be people as well as their religion. I never had to go around bringing up the Church of Christ in every conversation. Most of my Catholic or Jewish friends back home never pushed their religion on me. I’ve never experienced this until I met Mormons. Its so frustrating.
March 6th, 2007 at 3:09 am
Oh my gosh,
wow, this is a really funny site. I have to agree that the so-called true church is ridiculous and is really the blind leading the blind. Thanks for making me laugh!
Melissa
PS- whats with all those weirdo mormons who are leaving comments that they agree with you?? Last time I checked there are no “fence sitters!” Remember guys - when the prophet speaks, the thinking has been done! You either believe it or you dont.
PPS-Maybe I’d believe that your visitng teacher didnt send you that b-day card to get you to come back to church of she wasnt your visting teacher. Just another name on list that is being checked off due to self-serving beliefs. I fear the end of the month - thank goodness for caller id!
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September 17th, 2007 at 9:04 pm
FIRST OF ALL I WOULD LIKE TO RESPOND TO THE BAPTISM FOR THE DEAD. DOING A BAPTISM FOR THE DEAD IS GIVING THOSE IN THE SPIRIT WORLD A CHOICE TO ACCEPT IT OR NOT. EVERYONE HAS THEIR FREE AGENCY AS YOU SHOULD KNOW. WHY ARE YOU SO ANGRY? I GREW UP CATHOLIC AND WENT TO MANY OTHER CHURCHES IN COLLEGE AND SUCH. I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT MORMONISM WAS NOT FORCED ON ME NOR WILL IT BE ON MY CHILDREN. I BELIEVE IN MY RELIGION WITH EVERYTHING I HAVE. I KNOW THAT MY FAMILY WILL BE TOGETHER FOREVER IF WE LIVE THE WAY HEAVENLY FATHER WOULD HAVE US TO. I DO NOT BELIEVE I AM BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE AND I KNOW I HAVE MADE MY MISTAKES IN MY LIFE. NOBODY IS PERFECT. NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE BELIEVES THE TRUTH WILL COME OUT IN THE END. I KNOW WHAT THAT TRUTH IS. CHRIST’S CHURCH WAS REESTABLISHED ON THIS EARTH AND THIS IS IT. THAT DOES NOT MEAN ANYONE WHO DOES NOT BELIEVE IN IT IS GOING TO HELL. NOR DOES IT MEAN THAT ANYONE WHO DOES IS BETTER. IF YOU WOULD LOOK AT FAMILIES THAT ARE MEMBERS AND ARE ACTIVE AND LIVE THE GOSPEL YOU WOULD SEE THEY STAY TOGETHER. I LOVE MY CHURCH AND ITS MEMBERS. I LOVE MY HEAVENLY FATHER AND KNOW THAT THE PRIESTHOOD IS TRUE. I HAVE SEEN THE BLESSINGS OUR FAMILY HAS RECEIVED FROM IT AND I WILL NEVER LET ANYONE’S OPINION CHANGE MINE.
PROUD MORMON MOM
September 20th, 2007 at 4:04 am
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