Once in a while, I get steered to the FAIR Boards, where I run across some pretty ludicrous stuff regarding Mormon apologetics, but THIS particular post was hilarious. Or would be, if it wasn’t so downright arrogant and silly.

From the FAIR Boards post:

“Not many people know that the Church has a Levitical High Priest in the Church, mostly because the First Presidency believes the Church is not ready to handle the influx that Reuben was about to bring in. Reuben, at the time of his conversion, was about to go tell all the Jewish world to join him, and many millions likely would have. It would be like the Pope declaring Mormonism is true. Lots of Chaos, fighting, mass baptisms by people who know nothing of the Church, etc. President Monson in person met him and told him not to. Currently, his son is in the care of Jewish teachers (he’s now about ten or eleven) and undergoing the same education as Reuben did. He has almost no contact with him, but hopes when his son is finished in his education that he can convince him of the Restored Gospel. He does not beleive it will be difficult.”

This is the funniest thing I have read in a long time. Please. The LDS Church spends MILLIONS of dollars sending missionaries out into the field. Of course, it ain’t their money, but that’s NOT the point. They have been trying to convert EVERYONE since the Church’s inception. Not only that, but they regularly BAPTIZE people into their ranks, AFTER they die. Hundreds of ‘em. Maybe thousands. Every damn day. Now, suddenly, we are supposed to believe they are practicing moderation?

If this guy was able to convert MILLIONS, just by saying it’s so, the Church would be ALL over it. This is just plain stupid. I think the Jewish people need to be alerted to this most recent statement of ridiculous crap from the Mormons. I’m sure that Jewish people have converted to Mormonism. Look at all those people that joined Scientology. It happens. One religion doesn’t always make a person happy, so they go looking for something that works for them. But the claim that everyone would listen to THIS one guy, and millions would join the Church based on his say so… Please. I’ve heard of the Pope. I thought Reuben was a sandwich.

Another thing to consider is the fact the Church is taking a HUGE hit over DNA evidence. If they had some sort of “proof” that Mormonism was true, even if it was just some guy named Reuben who decided to become Mormon, it would not be on the QT. They’d be crowing from the rooftops. This type of crap is generated JUST to keep the believing hanging in, especially in the wake of controversy. In fact, I have to wonder if that isn’t WHY this person/poster has chosen to put this post on the FAIR Boards. Get the masses back on the side of LDS Inc. Sheesh. This stuff gives me a headache.

I always think of the WIZARD OF OZ when I read stuff like this. “PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN.” Instead, look over here at this guy named Reuben, who would bring MILLIONS of converts to the LDS Church. But they don’t want him to do it. Oh, no, it would be chaos! Anarchy! Day After Thanksgiving at WalMart!

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