Apparently, someone thinks that I, and all the readers of this blog, need massive amounts of anti-depressants. And various other medications. While some readers would undoubtedly agree, I suspect we don’t need quite that much medication, and I have never, ever suffered from erectile dysfunction. So I routinely clean out my blog of spam comments, and when I do, I always find SOMETHING interesting.

Today I found this:

T-rizzle Says:

February 25th, 2006 at 7:04 pm e

MOVE. No one is trapping you here. you are all far to open minded to live in this close-minded state, and besides we don’t want you here.

How far is it from far to open minded? Perhaps you meant “TOO” rather than “TO?” But perhaps you are to stupid to know which one to use. I’ve said it before, and I’ll said it again. If you MUST write disparaging comments on blogs, for God’s sake, BE LITERATE!!! The spelling police are coming out again, and I’m going to irk Kris, but for hell’s sake….

And sorry to disappoint, Drizzle, but get over yourself. When did YOU earn the right to speak for Utah? I don’t believe they award that right to people who don’t know the difference between “too” an “to.”

Quite honestly, I’ve lived here my whole life, and suspect I’m older than you! So, you get out! Shoo. Be gone. I was here first.

******
In another note, I found quite a few comments on my Stick-Up-the-Ass-Award I gave to Kanab. Truly, the award was given to the city council, for drafting a dumbass resolution.

This is what I wrote before.

The nonbinding resolution - drafted by the conservative Sutherland Institute - calls marriage between a man and woman “ordained of God” and urges homes to be open to a “full quiver of children.” It also encourages young women to become “wives, homemakers and mothers” and young men to grow into “husbands, home builders and fathers.”

Now, as more than one reader has pointed out, and I believe I mentioned myself, most Kanab-ites aren’t all that hot about the resolution. In fact, overall, they seem pretty cool. So I want to clarify once again that the award is only directed to the dumbasses, and not directed to smart Kanabites.

Overall, most of them seemed opposed to the resolution.

Every once in a while I get empassioned emails from teenage Mormons who are very, very upset with me, solely because I write about Mormonism in a way that is not faith promoting.

These emails do not anger me. In fact, they sadden me. Ick. Just saying that, I think of all the Mormons who have written me and told me how sad I make them, but still, it does make me sad. It’s a sad-o-rama.

Annnyway, I got this comment on my blog yesterday.

ok, I have not read your book, but by the way you are talking you hate mormons. Why? Did we hurt you? Did you fell pain that a mormon gave you? I mean if so, geton with life people make mistakes i am sure they ae sorry but if not, why do you hate me? I am mormon, do you hate me? I find that being angry and writing and posting mean things about ones religion is rude and cruel and right now I am angry but I will calm down and read out of the Book of Mormon, I will pray and I will have peace. To you, I say you might think about reading the Book of Mormon and praying and by the way, I have a testimony of this chrch, a strong one at that. And I am not even in highschool yet and I know this church is true and I know it is the true church, the only true church.

First of all, I have to cite that little ditty always thrown at me. The one where they say, “Someone offended you, so you left. Remember, it’s not about the people, it’s about the Church.” Well, they are right. “It’s NOT about the people, dear, it’s the CHURCH.”

The saddest thing about this comment is that ONE DAY this teenager will be a LOT older, and it’s entirely possible she will be thinking for herself, and she will have to look back and CRINGE at the things she said.

I can still recite the “testimony” that was given to me as a child. “I know this Church is true. I know it’s the only true Church. I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God. I love my mom and dad. Yada yada yada. Nameofjesuschristamen.”

But the problem is, this TESTIMONY was never mine. It was handed to me by my parents, and my bishops, and my church leaders, and church teachers, but it never really belonged to me. I was not supposed to question it, or research it, or in any way validate that it was mine.

I was just TOLD that it was truth, and that was that. I was expected to accept it and spout it regularly, much like this girl did to me.

When I was fifteen, on one of the rare days when I didn’t skip Seminary class (It was held DURING school hours, in a building just off the public high school grounds. I believe kids STILL attend Seminary here in Utah, during their school day.) I asked the teacher why I couldn’t research other churches.

He told me that for someone like him, with a strong testimony, researching other churches would be fine. But with my weak testimony, it would be a very, very bad idea. I could be led astray.

And I never understand that. Surely, if it’s true, it would hold up to a little investigation?

But that is not the case. In reality, it doesn’t hold up, as has been proven by DNA evidence, and scholarly research, and the test of time. To be a believing Mormon, one must go on faith and faith alone. Read the Book of Mormon, pray, and wait for the burning of the bosom.

Whatever you do, do NOT research the BoM, or the LDS teachings. Just accept what you are taught. When the prophet speaks, the thinking has been done.

This has never been my way. And it is not the way of many, many others, who have left the LDS Church, but are still proudly counted as members. Perhaps one day, my teenage friend will look back and think, “Wow, did I really write that comment? I am so embarassed. I am so saddened by what I believed to be true, and the sheer arrogance that it took for ME, a teenage girl, to write a 43-year-old woman and tell her JUST how wrong she was.”

Or maybe not. Some people never do look back and wonder at their arrogance. But I know I did. I remember that I wanted to put up a picture of the LDS Temple in my college apartment, and didn’t really understand why my Greek roommate was offended. The picture was a gift from my parents, who of course, were trying to keep me in line. Moving away from them, I could now make my own choices about my birth religion. They could no longer control what I heard, or saw, or when I went to church. So they gave me the temple to remind me about the testimony they had also given me. I suppose the reason I left it behind was because it never belonged to me.

Now, of course, I understand why my roommate was upset about the picture, and did not want it on our living room wall. I often cringe that even as I was questioning, and wondering, and preparing to leave, I was still so arrogant, as trained from birth, to believe I had the only true thing, that I did not understand what respect is.

Perhaps the reason I keep getting birthday cookies and visits from the Mormons, and why they will not take my name off their records, is my payback for the arrogance of my youth, although in my defense, that was also given to me.

There is an inherent lack of respect Mormons show for other religions and belief systems. Baptizing dead people into the your religion is the EPITOME of arrogance. And yet they feel, “Who WOULDN’T want to be Mormon? After all, it is the only true church.”

It’s a mindset that has no signs of going away.

Once in a while, I get steered to the FAIR Boards, where I run across some pretty ludicrous stuff regarding Mormon apologetics, but THIS particular post was hilarious. Or would be, if it wasn’t so downright arrogant and silly.

From the FAIR Boards post:

“Not many people know that the Church has a Levitical High Priest in the Church, mostly because the First Presidency believes the Church is not ready to handle the influx that Reuben was about to bring in. Reuben, at the time of his conversion, was about to go tell all the Jewish world to join him, and many millions likely would have. It would be like the Pope declaring Mormonism is true. Lots of Chaos, fighting, mass baptisms by people who know nothing of the Church, etc. President Monson in person met him and told him not to. Currently, his son is in the care of Jewish teachers (he’s now about ten or eleven) and undergoing the same education as Reuben did. He has almost no contact with him, but hopes when his son is finished in his education that he can convince him of the Restored Gospel. He does not beleive it will be difficult.”

This is the funniest thing I have read in a long time. Please. The LDS Church spends MILLIONS of dollars sending missionaries out into the field. Of course, it ain’t their money, but that’s NOT the point. They have been trying to convert EVERYONE since the Church’s inception. Not only that, but they regularly BAPTIZE people into their ranks, AFTER they die. Hundreds of ‘em. Maybe thousands. Every damn day. Now, suddenly, we are supposed to believe they are practicing moderation?

If this guy was able to convert MILLIONS, just by saying it’s so, the Church would be ALL over it. This is just plain stupid. I think the Jewish people need to be alerted to this most recent statement of ridiculous crap from the Mormons. I’m sure that Jewish people have converted to Mormonism. Look at all those people that joined Scientology. It happens. One religion doesn’t always make a person happy, so they go looking for something that works for them. But the claim that everyone would listen to THIS one guy, and millions would join the Church based on his say so… Please. I’ve heard of the Pope. I thought Reuben was a sandwich.

Another thing to consider is the fact the Church is taking a HUGE hit over DNA evidence. If they had some sort of “proof” that Mormonism was true, even if it was just some guy named Reuben who decided to become Mormon, it would not be on the QT. They’d be crowing from the rooftops. This type of crap is generated JUST to keep the believing hanging in, especially in the wake of controversy. In fact, I have to wonder if that isn’t WHY this person/poster has chosen to put this post on the FAIR Boards. Get the masses back on the side of LDS Inc. Sheesh. This stuff gives me a headache.

I always think of the WIZARD OF OZ when I read stuff like this. “PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN.” Instead, look over here at this guy named Reuben, who would bring MILLIONS of converts to the LDS Church. But they don’t want him to do it. Oh, no, it would be chaos! Anarchy! Day After Thanksgiving at WalMart!

In a wonderful article this week, Bill Lobdell, an LA Times staff writer, explored the fact that with DNA evidence proving that Native Americans, Pacific Islanders, and people from North, Central, and South America are NOT descended from the Hebrews, there is currently a subtle shift in LDS teachings. Of course they did not come out and say, “Hey, we were wrong. Guess Joe made the book up.” That’ll never happen.

Instead, in the face of surmounting evidence, the Church is quietly embracing the beliefs of some apologists who claim that Joseph NEVER meant the events of the Book of Mormon occurred HERE in North America and in the other Americas, at least en masse. Never mind that we were taught that our ENTIRE LIVES. We KNEW that it happened here. It was our legacy. Perhaps LDS Inc. thinks that in 80-100 years all of us who were TAUGHT this stuff will be dead (and I’m guessing they’ll be right) and that new and younger Mormons will accept that Joseph was talking about a small tribe in Central America somewhere. A really small, remote group–so small, that all of their DNA has NOW been “swallowed” up by the other DNA, and so of COURSE there is no evidence that these people were once Hebrews.

Sigh. This might sound far-fetched, but it’s not. Already, there is an entire generation of up-and-coming Mormons who do NOT believe that Joseph Smith OR Brigham Young practiced polygamy, and that POLYGAMY is still a tenet of Mormonism, with the belief it will be practiced in the Celestial Kingdom, the highest of God’s three kingdoms.

Well, the scrambling at least proves something I NEVER thought I would see. Even the MORMONS know that DNA evidence has “rocked the foundations” of Mormonism. And the spin from the Muckety-Mormons will not work for those outside of Mormonism, those questioning, and of course, for those of us who figured out the fraud a while ago.

But for those who are true and believing, this is not earth-shattering. I guess it’s because religion–and particularly the Mormon religion–it has always been about faith. If you don’t have enough FAITH you will perish. This, to most, will be nothing more than a test of their faith. Life as a Mormon, or at least a true believing one, is about something I like to call heartburn–and something they call the “burning of the bosom.”

In many ways, it’s a little sad. I feel almost forlorn, as I have been thinking for years that if my family, my parents, my neighbors could JUST see the facts, the real and true facts, they would finally figure it out. And I have to accept that isn’t going to happen. The truth is, they never DID care about the facts, unless the facts supported what they KNEW was true. Then, of course, those facts were immensely important.

But I digress. I suspect that to shatter my father’s immense faith, it would take nothing short of Jesus Christ himself appearing and telling him, “Uh, Joseph lied.”

But still, kudos to Bill for a great story. (I have met Bill, and have nothing but great respect for his investigating methods and his fairness.)

Today we are happy to welcome Julie Kenner, to Trapped by the Mormons. You’ll note below she does not want to be Trapped anywhere cold. Therefore, she would hate being in blizzard-y Utah right now. Nevertheless, we have her TRAPPED. Julie is the author of THE MANOLO MATRIX, from Downtown Press. She is also the national bestselling author of The Givenchy Code,. In her newest book, a woman gets pulled into a mysterious world of extreme gaming where she must play or die. Sounds fascinating!

So, here’s our questions for Julie.

If you had to be “Trapped” somewhere, where would it be?

My house!

If you could pick your “Trapped” companions, what three people would you want with you, and why?

My husband, my daughter, and one really good friend, to be determined at a later date b/c, I mean, how hard is that? Picking b/w your friends!

If you could only pick five books to be “Trapped” with, what would they be?

Oh, wow. This is torture! The Bible, the biggest book of mythology I could find, War & Peace (are you seeing a loooong book theme here?), Atlas Shrugged, and the Oxford English Dictionary (do all volumes count as one book??? If not, the tiny print version and the magnifying glass!)

What ONE famous person would you absolutely NOT want to be “Trapped” with?

Michael Jackson.

You can bring three things from your “former” life to “Trapped.” What would those three things be?

Um … My computer. My TiVo. My (full) bookshelf. (A tiny cheat, but …)

Where is one place you absolutely would NOT want to be “Trapped.”

Anyplace really cold!!!