A Year End Reminder I’m Still Trapped by the Mormons
Today, my neighbor brought me over a bar of chocolate and a Christmas card from the ward Relief Society. She must have drawn the short straw, mostly because she knows me and they figured I wouldn’t bite her head off, unlike the time I asked the primary president just who the hell she was coming to my door and asking for my young daughter when I had NO idea who she was, and she never bothered to introduce herself… Phew. Long sentence.
Anyway, Linda handed me the card and the chocolate bar, and I was just about to say something about how having your name removed meant nothing, and how asking for “no contact” meant nothing, although I WAS going to say it nicely. Then my parents drove up. So I said nothing. Although I KNOW Linda knows where I stand. Why won’t they leave me alone? How can I be expected to respect an organization that refuses to respect me?
I had my name removed, folks. I have the letter to prove it. I found myself BACK ON, under both my maiden name and my married name just THREE or so years later. I have requested no contact at LEAST six times. I have threatened legal action, and also rather more, uh, severe action (namely dancing on the bishop’s lawn naked). I still get visits from stake missionaries, the relief society, full-time missionaries, the primary president, the boys collecting Fast Sunday offerings. I receive invitations to EVERY single ward outing, event, party and special occasion.
I am TRAPPED BY THE MORMONS. Those of you who ask me why I cannot leave the Mormon Church Alone–there you have it.
Happy New Year!
And on that note, I’ve decided to share calendar kitty with you.
The Collins children got digital cameras for Christmas, and proceeded to torment the animals. The cat, Pumpkin, was remarkably patient, as you will see.
And my PERSONAL favorite…..
Thanks, Natalie.
January 9th, 2006 at 4:49 pm
I too am trapped by the Mormons. I moved from Utah almost 20 years ago and they keep finding me (it doesn’t help that my sister keeps giving them my address.) The missionaries came by a few weeks ago-my husband looked through the peep hole and said, “Honey, your people are here.” I told him to tell them to go away! He said, “No way…like I said they are your people.” A big arguement ensued because of the damn missionaries and I know they could hear every word we were saying but they just stood there on the front step waiting for us to answer.
I have many, many avoiding the Mormons stories…love your blog.
January 9th, 2006 at 6:33 pm
Thanks, Jennifer! Glad you enjoy Trapped by the Mormons. I love “Trapped” stories. Feel free to share.
January 10th, 2006 at 1:58 am
I *love* the cat pics - Pumpkin is a saint of a feline.
Sorry to hear you’re trapped. I have a good friend who grew up LDS who escaped… By dating a satanist, joining the SCA, and being big sister to a lesbian pagan. Kind of extreme, I know, but it worked for her.
(for the record she did quit dating the satanist when she found out he was one)
September 19th, 2006 at 2:19 pm
How nice to know that no matter where you are there are people who care and are willing to help you in anyway….by the way… if you tell the RS or the bishopric you want no contact from there members at all…. they will stop contacting you. Maybe you like it because it gives you something to write about.
September 26th, 2006 at 10:31 pm
[…] Her first comment landed on the blog post where I wrote about my year end reminder that I was TRAPPED BY THE MORMONS. […]
September 29th, 2006 at 9:50 pm
I can relate too what you are all talking about ..
December 11th, 2006 at 11:07 am
Have to tell you… I finally have succeeded in getting them off of my porch and out of my face. I told them that they were trespassing and that I was calling the police and filing a lawsuit for harassment. It’s been two years and counting. They have not come back. Oh, and the Christmas cards? I got three last year - sent them all back with a threatening letter … so far no cards this year!
Be blunt and be rude. they are.
:)
April 5th, 2007 at 6:39 pm
I love your blog as well. It often conveys exactly what I feel about living in the Salt Lake valley. I finally put a sign on my door that says “No proselyting”. One of my neighbors, who works full time, naively asked me if the Jehovah’s Witnesses came around a lot. I said no, I’ve only seen them once in 4 1/2 years, but your missionaries show up every 4-6 weeks like clockwork. She was aghast when she realized the sign was meant for them. I’d asked them not to come by before, to no avail. I even stopped answering the door. They’ll stand there for 5 minutes leaning on the doorbell and knocking away on the door. The last time they came by they did this, then went around to the back of our house where my hubby was up on a ladder adjusting our satellite dish and tried talking to him there. He was a bit peeved they went in the back to find him but he was very polite and told them again for the umpteenth time that we aren’t interested.
Apparently my door sign caused a bit of a stir in the neighborhood. However, we haven’t had missionaries at our door for a bit over 2 months now. That’s a pretty good record for us.
My big problem is that I have 2 adult children who had the infant name and blessing as babies but were never baptized. However, for some reason the LDS church thinks they are members even though they are now unbaptized adults. We had all kinds of problems when they were teens with the local ward trying to “activate” them. We all told the local ward countless times that the kids weren’t members, they were never baptized, but the only response we could get from any ward leadership was “but we have a membership record for them”. I asked what they showed for a date of baptism, but never got any response. We still have problems with this off and on even today - and they are adults. I know this isn’t a weird fluke because I have at least 1 other friend who has had and is still having the same problems in regards to her adult children.
Here’s another good story. I have a Catholic friend whose husband left the LDS church and joined the Catholic church when they got engaged 10-11 years ago. He turned in his letter of resignation stating that he had joined the Catholic church and he wanted to resign his membership in the LDS church. He has tried this 5 times now over the years but somehow his name keeps getting put back on the rolls as a member. Every time a new bishop gets put in, they start trying to contact my friend’s hubby and come around for the fast offering, etc. He can’t get his name off the rolls even though he’s now Catholic and has written 5 letters, using the supposed required format.
So it appears that 12 million + number possibly includes anyone who’s had the name and blessing regardless of whether they ever actually got baptized or not and it includes people who have joined other churches. My friend’s hubby is getting counted by both the Mormons AND the Catholics!
April 5th, 2007 at 7:00 pm
I’m sorry, my 16 month old managed to click Submit Comment before I was quite done.
I find it ironic that Bryan the Sunday School teacher thinks the Ex-Mormon Foundation is desperate when it appears the LDS church is the organization that is desperate. It sounds pretty desperate to me when they think they need to count as members people who have never been baptized and people who have left and joined other religions. They probably never really took your name off the rolls. You were probably still being counted in their “official” count even after you got your “official letter.” Otherwise, how and why would you suddenly show up on the rolls again? Only a fool would dare to think it’s a one time fluke that happened only to you.
If they were really growing as fast as they like to claim they are, they wouldn’t feel a need to count people who haven’t been baptized or who have repeatedly asked to have their names removed from the membership rolls. I know, some members will try to say that my Catholic friend must be the victim of some isolated screw up. However, he not only sent his letters to the local bishop, he sent letters to the Church headquarters membership division. So he covered all the bases.