The founder of Exmormon.org, Eric Kettunen, gets a lot of hate mail, a lot like me. I should note that there are lots of Mormons that are not rabidly, excessively stupid. A whole lot. But there are plenty out there who do “fit that bill,” and thus they make blogging interesting, to say the least. Here’s a recent letter that Eric got, reprinted with his permission. This letter fits just about every cliche ex-Mormons hear from true believing Mormons (TBMs). It also might give readers outside of the Mormon arena a little idea why ex-Mormons are so angry, and why THEY won’t leave the Mormon Church alone. It might also give MORMONS an idea why ex-Mormons are so cranky. Not everybody laughs at this stuff like I do.

From: “Bryan Monson”
> To: erickett@……
> Date: 23 Nov 2005, 10:23:37 AM
> Subject: Story
>
> I teach the gospel essentials class in my ward in a large city. Common to
> almost every conversion story is a time when the individual got on line and read
> anti-mormonism that caused him or her to pause in their progress.
>
> It must be discouraging, this desprate work you are involved in. Despite
> doing all you have done to fight against God and his work, the Church doesn’t just
> continue forward, it GROWS. At a remarkable pace. Going through the records
> from the past 5 years there has been roughly a trippling of baptisms in our
> city. You can not stop this work. You can not stop the appointment of the Prophet
> of God. The harder Satan and his followers (you, apparently) work to fight
> this cause, the stronger it becomes. You certainly must know this already - Im
> going to give you the benefit of the doubt that you are inteligent enough to
> have observed this. So Im not sure which side you really are on?! The more filth
> and lies you publish, the more fervently these converts soul search for the
> truth which is answered by greater revelation.
>
> Stories from new converts are becoming more striking in the amount of aid
> from the other side they’ve received, and needed to receive - equal to their need
> to have sufficient witness of the truth in order to move forward. Stories of
> experiences that I heard of only on occasion as a full-time missionary 15
> years ago, now I hear with much greater frequency. The point is, God will do
> anything he needs to to help these people come into the church. You can’t stop it.
> You only fan the fire. So really, the best way to hinder Mormonism is to not
> say anyting at all and hope the Latter-day Saints become appathetic. But there
> apears to be no sign of that on the horizon, and no sign that the Latter-day
> Saints are letting up one bit in their faithfulness and diligence to carry this
> work to the honest in heart.
>
> Lastly, you know, don’t you, that you are the fulfillment of prophecy. The
> very first of this dispensation - that Joseph’s name would be had among all
> nations for good and evil. I certainly wouldn’t want to be found promulgating the
> evil from deep and wicked lies.
>
> Well thank you for strengthing the ferver with which converts search their
> souls for the Truth. You have brought a strength to the church I could never
> have emagined. And as for you, what did you think? That you could de-rail the
> appointment of the Prophet of God? You tamper with a flame hotter than noon-day
> sun when you seek to mock the Lord’s prophet, persecuit His saints, and seek to
> ‘Crucify Christ Afresh.’ Repent of your wickedness and beg the Lord for His
> forgiveness for what you are doing.
>
> Sincerely,
>
> Bryan Monson bryanmonson@……

Now, first off (sorry Kris, but I have to), Bryan, can you spell DELUDED? I doubt it, because you really can’t spell anything else, either.

Please, Bryan, if you are going to be angry for the Lord, and allow that anger to convince you that you can effectively fight for the Lord using your words, shooting emails off to people you don’t know, USE YOUR SPELL CHECKER.

You look like an idiot. You are also spouting tripe. If you actually RESEARCHED instead of just accepting what you have heard from Church leaders, you would know that Church membership has actually dropped, and only an estimated forty-one percent of all the Utahns listed on Mormon rolls are actually active. It gives me great faith in human nature to realize that people are not as easily deceived as some Mormons (those like YOU) would like us all to think.

From an article in The Salt Lake Tribune, in which an LDS official is quoted:

The LDS Church said its count comprises “all members” - including children in LDS families under age 8, when most Mormons are baptized, and nonpracticing members.
Professor Tim Heaton, who studies LDS demographics for church-owned Brigham Young University, says the county numbers probably come from church membership rolls, and that between half and one-third of those people are not active in the faith. If that’s true, then, at most, 41.6 percent of Utahns are church-going Mormons.

While people MAY join, they rarely stay. And those numbers? They are counting every one who EVER JOINED, right up until age 110, when presumably, they have finally left this earthly sphere. Counting them even though the MAJORITY walk out of the wardhouse one day and never come back.

Why do they do that? Because the tenets are mostly unfathomable and ridiculously silly. Of course, for those who do believe, you are giving your church a bad name. And despite what you spout, reading the truth doesn’t lead these people back into the delusion. Most people are capable of reason, something you appear to be missing.

But you just keep convincing yourself, and invest in a good spelling program or spell checker. At least when the fire of the Lord burns deep in your bosom, you can take an antacid and send off a coherent letter.

Something about illiteracy really takes away from fire and brimstone preaching, don’t ya think?

Well thank you for strengthing the ferver with which converts search their
> souls for the Truth. You have brought a strength to the church I could never
> have emagined. And as for you, what did you think? That you could de-rail the
> appointment of the Prophet of God? You tamper with a flame hotter than noon-day
> sun when you seek to mock the Lord’s prophet, persecuit His saints, and seek to
> ‘Crucify Christ Afresh.’ Repent of your wickedness and beg the Lord for His
> forgiveness for what you are doing.

This part really cracks me up. Bryan must have been on crack when he wrote this letter. A flame hotter than noon-day sun? The sun is pretty far away from the earth, Bryan. A bad sunburn is the worst that could happen to Eric. That’s not a terribly hot flame. But I’m sure you convinced him to repent. Really.

I personally am glad that Eric, and others like him, could “strengthing the ferver.”

I think I’ll adapt that as my catch phrase.