I got a lot of response recently when I wrote about the odd little Primary Parade that made its way through my neighborhood. Many writers chimed in to assure me that, being a Utah Mormon, I had probably experienced a Primary Parade and was simply choosing to block it out. Perhaps the sirens were too traumatic for me to deal with, and so, I have repressed these memories.

Even worse, perhaps in a few years I shall wake up one day with horrible phobias about parades and a sudden awareness of my past, and write a bestselling book about how my parents horribly subjected me to Primary Parades. We’ll see.

But for right now, I have no memory of this event. But my correspondents have a LOT to say about Primary Parades. Overall, it seems that the Primary Parade was a rather elitist event, reserved only for the holier-than-holy Utah Mormons. Out of state Mormons have just ONE MORE REASON to feel disdain for the damn Utah Mormons. They repeatedly write to tell me how if I just got my ass out of Utah and met other Mormons, I would realize they weren’t so bad.

Now, of course, they are slowly becoming aware of the whole Primary Parade fiasco, and THEY ARE PISSED. I suspect there will be a split of the Mormon Church soon. While the LDS Hierarchy doesn’t like people to know about it, this would NOT be the first time such a thing has happened. It’s pretty common in other churches, too, and I suspect the reasons for the splits are probably just as silly as a Primary Parade–or the lack thereof.

You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.