Today’s guest on my blog is Julie Kenner, author of CARPE DEMON: ADVENTURES OF A DEMON-HUNTING SOCCER MOM

The book is getting raves, both for it’s humor, fantasy, and suspense, and personally, I LOVE the title. It’s not Julie’s ONLY cool title, though. She has another book out called–are you ready?–THE GIVENCHY CODE. How cool is that?

Want to know more about Carpe Demon? Check it out.

Julie Kenner’s Carpe Demon: Adventures of a Demon-Hunting Soccer Mom is delighting readers this summer! A combination of mommy lit and fantasy, the book has been receiving praise since even before its release when Booksense honored it by selecting CARPE DEMON as one of its Top Ten Summer Paperback Picks for 2005. The book was also selected as a Target “Breakout Book” and has held the Number One slot on Barnes & Noble’s SF/Fantasy trade overall bestseller list for six weeks (and counting!).

CARPE DEMON has also been optioned for film, and is currently in development at Warner Brothers, with 1492 Pictures (Chris Columbus, Harry Potter) producing.

Carpools. Crabgrass. Creatures from the depths of hell. Suburbia has its problems too…

Lots of women put their careers aside once the kids come along. Kate Connor, for instance, hasn’t hunted a demon in ages…

That must be why she missed the one wandering through the pet food aisle of the San Diablo Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, he managed to catch her attention an hour later-when he crashed into the Connor house, intent on killing her.

Now Kate has to clean up the mess in her kitchen, dispose of a dead demon, and pull together a dinner party that will get her husband elected to County Attorney-all without arousing her family’s suspicion. Worse yet, it seems the dead demon didn’t come alone. He was accompanied by a High Demon named Goramesh who, for some unknown reason, intends to kill off the entire population of San Diablo.
It’s time for Kate Connor to go back to work.

“This book, as crammed with events as any suburban mom’s calendar, shows you what would happen if Buffy got married and kept her past a secret. It’s a hoot.”
-Charlaine Harris, USA Today bestselling author of DEAD TO THE WORLD

“Advance praise compares Kate to a domesticized Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which seems accurate. Throw in a bit of Teri Hatcher from Desperate Housewives while dropping pop culture references. Whomever you picture as Kate, she’s hilarious, and so is this book. Toss this one in your beach bag, and don’t forget the sunscreen.” - Kat Lively’s Book Picks

“I loved CARPE DEMON! It was great fun; wonderfully clever… ninety-nine percent of the wives and moms in the country will identify with this heroine. I mean, like who hasn’t had to battle demons between car-pools and play-dates?” -Jayne Ann Krentz, New York Times bestselling author of Falling Awake

“Smart, fast-paced, unique–a blend of sophistication and wit that has you laughing outloud!” -Christine Feehan, New York Times bestselling author of Oceans of Fire

“What would happen if Buffy the Vampire Slayer got married, moved to the suburbs and became a stay-at-home mom? She’d be a lot like Kate Connor, once a demon/vampire/zombie killer and now “a glorified chauffeur for drill-team practice and Gymboree play dates” in San Diablo, Calif., that’s what. But in Kenner’s sprightly, fast-paced ode to kick-ass housewives, Kate finds herself battling evil once again.” — Publishers Weekly

“Julie Kenner’s Carpe Demon: Adventures of a Demon-Hunting Soccer Mom is a hilarious romp through the life of desperate, demon hunter housewife, Kate Connor. www.armchairinterviews recommends Julie Kenner’s latest novel. You’ll laugh out loud.” — Armchair Interviews

About Julie:
Julie Kenner’s first book hit the stores in February of 2000, and she has since seen over 20 books hit the shelves. A USA Today and Waldenbooks bestselling author, Julie spent several years mainlining venti nonfat lattes in order to work fulltime as an attorney, write books, and be a mommy. In 2004 she finally wised up, decided that sleep was a good thing, and left the practice of law to write full time. She now lives and writes in Georgetown, Texas, with her husband, daughter and a variety of cats. She still doesn’t sleep all that much, though. Julie is also the author of The Givenchy Code (www.givenchycode.com), a chicklit thriller released earlier this summer. Read more about Julie at www.juliekenner.com (and if you’re interested in slaying a few demons of your own pop over to www.slayyourdemons.com, Julie’s guest-blogging site!)

I got a lot of response recently when I wrote about the odd little Primary Parade that made its way through my neighborhood. Many writers chimed in to assure me that, being a Utah Mormon, I had probably experienced a Primary Parade and was simply choosing to block it out. Perhaps the sirens were too traumatic for me to deal with, and so, I have repressed these memories.

Even worse, perhaps in a few years I shall wake up one day with horrible phobias about parades and a sudden awareness of my past, and write a bestselling book about how my parents horribly subjected me to Primary Parades. We’ll see.

But for right now, I have no memory of this event. But my correspondents have a LOT to say about Primary Parades. Overall, it seems that the Primary Parade was a rather elitist event, reserved only for the holier-than-holy Utah Mormons. Out of state Mormons have just ONE MORE REASON to feel disdain for the damn Utah Mormons. They repeatedly write to tell me how if I just got my ass out of Utah and met other Mormons, I would realize they weren’t so bad.

Now, of course, they are slowly becoming aware of the whole Primary Parade fiasco, and THEY ARE PISSED. I suspect there will be a split of the Mormon Church soon. While the LDS Hierarchy doesn’t like people to know about it, this would NOT be the first time such a thing has happened. It’s pretty common in other churches, too, and I suspect the reasons for the splits are probably just as silly as a Primary Parade–or the lack thereof.

Hey, it’s that time again–you know, when the Girlfriend’s Cyber Circuit comes to visit my blog, and you get to read about new and interesting books.

And I’m telling you, this one sounds like a GREAT one.

Shaking Her Assets is by Robin Epstein and Renée Kaplan, and I can’t wait to read it. You should, too.

Wanna know more?

“SHAKING HER ASSETS is funny, smart and
hugely entertaining.”
–Jill A. Davis, author of GIRLS’ POKER NIGHT

Chick lit meets the graphic novel in SHAKING HER ASSETS (Berkley Trade Paperback Original; May 3, 2005; $13.00), a clever and quirky debut novel featuring the adventures of a modern-day Manhattan heroine.

Meet Rachel Chambers, New York City copywriter, collector of vintage compacts, and self-proclaimed eBay-addict. For the second time in less than a month, Rachel finds herself standing on the street, holding a collection of her personal effects, trying to catch a cab at rush hour. Only this time, instead of juggling a box of coffee mugs and pilfered office supplies, her big paper shopping bag overflows with the remnants of her now defunct two-year relationship.

With no job, no boyfriend, and no back-up plan, Rachel has no choice but to reinvent herself. Instead of getting a conventional new job, she starts her own company—sort of. Rachel and her best friend Ben conjure up a business idea as a complete joke, and it unexpectedly starts to take off. But it’s a risky stealth effort, with lots of improvising, a dose of guerrilla marketing, and copious amounts of total bluffing.

Meanwhile, Rachel’s been temping, and when the art director at her temp job gets wind of her romantic and entrepreneurial misadventures, he turns her into a comic book superhero, illustrating her hilarious escapades. Suddenly Rachel is taking New York by storm, remorselessly tossing aside losers and nay-sayers in her never-ending quest for success—and before long, Rachel’s man-eating comic alter-ego has got her believing that she just might be able to pull this off in real life…but maybe without the cone-shaped bra.

Hailed by Alison Pace, author of IF ANDY WARHOL HAD A GIRLFRIEND, as “A funny, heartwarming page-turner for the entrepreneur in us all,” SHAKING HER ASSETS gives New York women a superhero to call their own.

# # #

SHAKING HER ASSETS is the first novel by Robin Epstein and Renée Kaplan. Robin Epstein received her MFA from Columbia University. She has worked on sitcoms starring Joan Cusack (”What About Joan,” ABC), Al Franken (”Lateline,” NBC) and sold an original pilot to the Oxygen network. She is a contributor to NPR’s This American Life and is currently scripting a video game for Atari called Tycoon City: New York.

Renée Kaplan was a writer and editor for the New York Observer, before transitioning into television journalism, first as a producer for the “Charlie Rose Show” on PBS, and most recently for “60 Minutes II.” Today she is a freelance television producer and writer.

I have had some fun lately, I must admit, at the expense of Jeff Lindsay, a Mormon apologist. He holds some beliefs that I find kind of silly, and, as I often do, I made fun of them. Here. On this very blog. I know, hard to believe.

While I STILL find those beliefs silly, and will undoubtedly STILL spotlight them, I feel kind of shamefaced for poking fun at Jeff personally. Turns out he’s a pretty cool guy, doing his best to survive in a crazy, chaotic world. He’s trying to offer a guidepost to others because he really BELIEVES in what he is offering up as truth. It’s worked for him, so he wants it to work for others.

Me, I find Mormonism all manner of things EXCEPT for helpful. It certainly isn’t a fit for everyone. I know many people it has harmed. There are probably just as many people it has helped. But, I’m guessing you could say that about almost ANY religion. There’s good and bad.

So, here’s my apology to you Jeff. Just don’t post anymore of those faith promoting rumors, ‘kay? It is JUST impossible for me NOT to respond to them. My eye starts to twitch when I read them. I have the urge to smash my head against the wall repeatedly. I have to take valium just to get to the end of the story. And several hits from the old Vodka bottle. I mean, DID you read the one about the guy who lost his head and all his arms and legs but his GARMENTS protected his torso?!

(Please, please do NOT write me about this behavior. I don’t really have any valium. I DO however have Vodka. Does anyone know how to make a Vodkatini?)

Lately, I’ve been spending a lot of time at Jeff Lindsay’s blog. I’m sure he would like to think it was because I was finally waking up to “THE TRUTH OF THE LORD’S GOSPEL” but it’s more because I’m amazed at how naive he really is.

I picked this lovely little ditty up off Jeff’s blog. I know he wants to think he’s learned, and thoughtful, especially when he was spouting all that shit about how Joseph Smith’s translation of the Book of Abraham just MAYBE might have been real, even though it is “problematic.”

But the truth is, Jeff’s kind of gullible. Don’t believe me? Just read the story below.

One of my favorite stories about the converting power of the Book of Mormon is printed in a talk by President James E. Faust entitled “The Message: Ten Things to Know Before You Go” (New Era, July 2005):

Elder F. Burton Howard of the Seventy acquaints us with a strong testimony of the converting power of the Book of Mormon: Sister Celia Cruz Ayala of the Puerto Rico San Juan Mission decided to give the Book of Mormon to a friend. She wrapped it in attractive paper and set out to deliver her present.

On the way she was attacked by a bandit who stole her purse and with it the wrapped copy of the Book of Mormon. A few days later she received this letter:

Mrs. Cruz:

Forgive me, forgive me. You will never know how sorry I am for attacking you. But because of it, my life has changed and will continue to change. That book [the Book of Mormon] has helped me in my life. The dream of that man of God has shaken me. … I am returning your five pesos for I can’t spend them. I want you to know that you seemed to have a radiance about you. That light seemed to stop me [from harming you, so] I ran away instead.

I want you to know that you will see me again, but when you do, you won’t recognize me, for I will be your brother . . . . Here, where I live, I have to find the Lord and go to the church you belong to.

The message you wrote in that book brought tears to my eyes. Since Wednesday night I have not been able to stop reading it. I have prayed and asked God to forgive me, [and] I ask you to forgive me. … I thought your wrapped gift was something I could sell. [Instead,] it has made me want to make my life over. Forgive me, forgive me, I beg you.

Your absent friend (Church News, Jan 6, 1996, 16).

Such is the conversion power of the Book of Mormon.

OH. MY. HELL. Jeff? You really BELIEVE this? How many times have you fallen for the Nigerian Scam Letter? Are you still waiting for those foreign lottery winnings to come your way?

This has EVERY single trademark of an urban legend, or in Mormonspeak, a Faith Promoting Story, or FPS.

First of all, banditos are NEVER this literate. Almost never. Particularly banditos from third world countries. Usually, they have a hard time writing at all. This is not a slam on third-world countries, but rather a statement on the sad conditions that exist there. They don’t GET a lot of education.

As for the rest of the idea–that a criminal might be literate–yeah, yeah, there was the whole literary-prodigies-in-prison phase the publishing world went through, but that didn’t last very long. As soon as their paroles were collectively revoked, it was over. Even here in the U.S. Now we just pretend the Runaway Bride and Paris Hilton are capable of literate sentences one-after-another. That’s hot! And that’s ENGLISH.

“Here, where I live, I have to find the Lord and go to the church you belong to.”

I just can’t even begin to think of something appropriate to say here. Maybe, “whoever translated your Spanish probably actually spoke Italian, Portuguese or Pig Latin, and got a few words wrong, here and there.”

First of all, the Book of Mormon is hardly comprehensible for someone who speaks Joseph Smith Jr.’s native tongue, and even then it is “chloroform in print.” (Thanks, Mark Twain.) There ain’t NO way some bandito, read robber, thief, or killer, stole a woman’s purse, and was converted by the book inside. Especially in its translated form.

Not only that, but he gave her back her five pesos? What five pesos? And how did he know how to send it to her? Did he have her driver’s license? Did she write her address and phone number in the Book of Mormon? Did she have a driver’s license? Or was she walking when this happened? Phew, very vague story. Better to keep it vague, or course, so it can’t be rebutted.

Come on, Jeff, didn’t you hear the story of the lady with the big updo who was in the hospital sick for days, before they finally took her hair down and found a black widow spider nest? Or the babysitter on drugs who told the mother, when she called, that the turkey was in the oven? Turned out, it was the BABY! Can you believe that, Jeff? The baby. She thought THE BABY was a turkey, and she put it in the oven and was roasting it! It’s true. My husband’s cousin’s friend’s brother’s wife’s friend’s boyfriend KNEW her!!

Such is the conversion power of an urban legend.