Mike Bearnsen Writes Back
I owe Mike Bearnsen an apology. He’s really nothing like Stanley Barker.
He wrote me back, and although he wasn’t very happy with my last blog on his email (and please note that Mike DID write me with a sarcastic bent about my Trapped by the Mormons story), he actually seems like a pretty nice and sincere guy, who is a little upset about what he sees as an attack on his religion. For that reason, I have abandoned my usual sarcasm and am answering his questions with all the sincerity I can muster. (No wisecracks from the cheap seats, people!)
Mike wrote:
I just read your response and the fact that you had the gall of accusing me
of arrogance and condescension is a stretch compared to your haughty
response. As for my spelling I apologize, I always have been more of a Math
guy and did not do well in English as my us of the language can attest, but
again you have the same problem, it is not “fuck” it is “fetch”.
I am terrible at math. Math is evil. I’m convinced Satanists get together and do math at their parties. They are not sacrificing small animals. They are trying to solve x + 9 = 18 - 2x. Any fool can tell you that NUMBERS and LETTERS do not mix. Who came up with this shit? Anyway, I guess that puts us at opposite ends of the spectrum. LOL at the fetch comment. I don’t think my response was haughty. More snarky. I’m known for it. And snarky is such a cool word.
It amazes me when people that are not Mormons find it so important to trash
the church. I excuse you as your involvement and frustrations give you
cause to vent. My focus is more with the people that show up at the temple
or at General Conference and seem to have my Church as the single focus of
their/there? lives.
It’s their. And I would never show up at General Conference or hand out pamphlets, and frankly, found the guy who was waving around the temple garment appalling. I even blogged on it, comparing him to a bully running someone’s underwear up the flag pole. I do understand why ex-Mormons are tied up in it. I do not understand why others have made it their life’s project, especially to cut it down.
This is a serious question that I am asking you in
sincerity. Why do you think this is? Have you ever talked to people like
this? Do you know what drives them? I came across your site as I was
investigating a web site that I catch sight of while driving past the temple
and saw a group of young people holding signs advertising the site. Again I
am asking this earnestly. What do you think?
I will answer you as sincerely as I can. I know many, many ex-Mormons. They speak out because Mormonism has touched their lives, most negatively, and it continues to do so. Mormonism works for a lot of people. I don’t deny that. My mother and father live deeply couched in the ties of religion, patriarchy, and the power of the Priesthood. And they thrive there. They have never even THOUGHT about questioning it, and when something comes up about the Church that they cannot reconcile, they choose to ignore it. And they are happy that way. I have a sister who is the same way. She challenged me on my ex-Mormon status until I brought her solid proof that there are too many discrepancies in the Church’s past, and in Joseph Smith’s life, for it to be true. Since the proof I offered her came from Church records, she could not discount it. So she said, “I do not want to talk about this anymore.” And that was that.
Please be aware that SHE came to me. SHE was trying to tell me I was wrong, not the other way around. I have not set up my life trying to tell other people that what they have believed all their lives is a bunch of crap. Life is too short for that. I only go after it when it comes to me. My blog is no different. I don’t address Mormon issues unless they affect me. Of course, that happens just about every day. And thus you have TRAPPED BY THE MORMONS. And I was not joking when I told you that story was meant to be funny. I THINK it’s hilarious that I was all indignant about being a Mormon, and went through the whole hassle of having my name removed (and it was a hassle), only to have it show up on the roles TWICE just a few years later. It was at that point I decided to laugh about this sh….er, stuff instead of having issues with it. (I censored that for you, Mike.)
Mormonism is my heritage. Utah is my home state. EVERY day the church comes to me. When people say, “Why can you not leave the Church alone?” well, I can’t because the Church CANNOT and will not ever leave me alone. But I’ve taken a different stance now. I’m not mad anymore, so I write about it. People still take issue with that. The Salt Lake Tribune reviewer called my book an “angry book.” True. Salt Lake Tribune columnist Robert Kirby once told me that ex-Mormons are the angriest people he knows. Again, true. So the fact my book is about an ex-Mormon, and the anger runs clear through it, tells me I succeeded.
Why do ex-Mormons get so angry? When we reject the tenets of Mormonism, we become exiled, pariahs, to those around us. I have received many tearful letters from people whose children join the LDS Church, and they find themselves unable to attend weddings, etc., because they don’t embrace the truths you embrace.
This creates division. It’s a “we are better than you” kind of attitude that sets people off. And the answer, “All you have to do to participate is join our Church, or live according to our moral standards” just doesn’t cut it. I believe that you can have your temples, and do your sacred rites in privacy, and frankly, I don’t want to be there. But UNTIL the Church hierarchy wises up and realizes that excluding non-Mormons from important family events such as weddings is going to continue to create a HUGE divide that cannot be bridged, things will continue to get worse.
Now I don’t know what Web site you are referring to, and I also don’t know if you are talking about ex-Mormons or non-Mormons. I can only speak for ex-Mormons, having never been a NON-Mormon. My parents took care of that. But in recent years Mormonism has become an “in your face” religion. It never used to be that way. Mormons proudly declared their “peculiarity” and embraced the fact that they were different from all other religions, but President Gordon B. Hinckley has been working very hard to mainstream Mormonism into modern-day Christianity for many years now.
To a certain extent, he has succeeded. But that only makes the divide wider, because there are certain teachings in Mormonism that other Christians will NEVER embrace. Because Mormonism is now a very public religion, fundamentalist Christians are more and more determined to point out the differences between Mormon beliefs and their own.
Thus, you have picketers and Web sites, etc., where they did not exist before.
And that’s my sincere answer.
