The Mother of All Faith-Promoting Stories! (Cover the children’s ears…er, eyes)
Thursday, March 31st, 2005
I grew up with faith promoting stories. These are little daily snippets of life among the Saints, meant to show us just how TRUE Joseph’s church really is. A couple of days ago I ran across one meant to show the importance of wearing the Garment of the Holy Priesthood, better known to Gentiles as the Mormon Funny Underwear.
Retelling of faith promoting story will now commence.
Apparently, during some war or another, a soldier refused to take off his garments, despite some ribbing from the other soldiers. Other soldiers were of COURSE very impressed with said soldier’s faith and quiet dedication to his religion. Some of them decided to investigate Mormonism. They met and discussed God on Sundays with said Soldier. Then, during a particularly wicked firefight, the soldier’s foxhole was bombed. When they found his body, his arms, legs, and head were burned off, but not ONE part of his body covered by the garments was even singed. Every one of those soldiers came home from the war and joined the Mormon Church.
A moment of silence please.
What can we learn from this? Mormons think soldiers are STUPID, with a capital S?
Who the hell comes UP with this shit? What is the moral here? If you wear your sacred garments your most important parts (read your brain, your arms, your legs, your mouth, your teeth, your nose, etc) are vulnerable, but your genitals and surrounding areas will be saved? And what the hell are you supposed to do with them with no brain, arms or legs attached?
Apparently, they better come up with a full body covering and QUICK. Mormons will be wandering around looking like rejects from the Blue Man Group.
Whoever came up with that one needs to find a new line of work. I hear the Taliban is hiring.
I grew up with faith promoting stories. These are little daily snippets of life among the Saints, meant to show us just how TRUE Joseph’s church really is. A couple of days ago I ran across one meant to show the importance of wearing the Garment of the Holy Priesthood, better known to Gentiles as the Mormon Funny Underwear.
Retelling of faith promoting story will now commence.
Apparently, during some war or another, a soldier refused to take off his garments, despite some ribbing from the other soldiers. Other soldiers were of COURSE very impressed with said soldier’s faith and quiet dedication to his religion. Some of them decided to investigate Mormonism. They met and discussed God on Sundays with said Soldier. Then, during a particularly wicked firefight, the soldier’s foxhole was bombed. When they found his body, his arms, legs, and head were burned off, but not ONE part of his body covered by the garments was even singed. Every one of those soldiers came home from the war and joined the Mormon Church.
A moment of silence please.
What can we learn from this? Mormons think soldiers are STUPID, with a capital S?
Who the hell comes UP with this shit? What is the moral here? If you wear your sacred garments your most important parts (read your brain, your arms, your legs, your mouth, your teeth, your nose, etc) are vulnerable, but your genitals and surrounding areas will be saved? And what the hell are you supposed to do with them with no brain, arms or legs attached?
Apparently, they better come up with a full body covering and QUICK. Mormons will be wandering around looking like rejects from the Blue Man Group.
Whoever came up with that one needs to find a new line of work. I hear the Taliban is hiring.
