Stop the mud-slinging and the accusations. Instead, say hello to Jennifer O’Connell, who is visiting this blog today, courtesy of the Girlfriend’s Cyber Circuit. Jennifer’s newest book, Dress Rehearsal, just came out, and like her last book, Bachelorette #1, which was featured just about EVERYWHERE, it promises to be a big hit.

Dress Rehearsal is getting reviews like this:

Hot book pick.”–US Magazine

“Chick-lit lovers will devour this sassy novel.”–LIFE

“O’Connell creates modern she-protagonists with bittersweet character twists, and her new novel Dress Rehearsal is no different.”–Denver Post

“Who can resist a chick-lit book whose main character owns a cake-making shop in Boston called Lauren’s Luscious Licks? Add two acerbic friends, a dash of romance, a cup of jealousy and a heaping teaspoon of drama . . . and you’ve got the recipe for a perfect, sometimes predictable love story, with a little icing on the cake.”–Boston Herald

Go give Jennifer’s Web site and her books a peek. As someone who read and LOVED Bachelorette #1, I can assure you it’s well worth your time.

And now, I must go buy Jennifer’s newest book….

It is little surprise to anyone that my book is not terribly popular among the Saints, even though the majority of those who are dissing it have not even read it, and probably never will.

After the Salt Lake Tribune panned it, many quickly jumped on the bandwagon to condemn it, and crow about the bad review, even though it is the ONLY bad review the book has received. Out of more than 25 reviews, mind you.

I found this on a Mormon blog, which discussed The Tribune review and the review in the Indy Star, both of which ran the same day. I’m sure you don’t need rocket science to determine which review the blogger is siding with.

However, that is not my point. I found this statement interesting.

Look. I don’t care if you are ex-Mo, Orthodox Mormon or whatever. Somebody write a nuanced, interesting, sophisticated novel with a certain measure of literary value to it and find some eastern publisher publish it. At this point, all we have in recent years is — what? The Miracle Life of Edgar Mint? Very good novel. But that was almost four years ago. It’s time for the national publishers to step up to the plate again.

How would you possibly know whether or not my novel is bad? You have not read it. You are basing your assumption on ONE BAD REVIEW, and ignoring all the other good reviews. My question to the Motley Blogger is why don’t you READ the book first before condemning it? Or, gee, would that make sense? You are basing your comments on TWO reviews. The only one you are giving credence is the BAD Salt Lake Tribune review. How’s that for biased?

What this person is saying, basically, is that until the “New York” publishers portray the Mormons the way the Mormons want to be portrayed, they will cry foul.

Mormonism is a strange culture. If you walk away, you are expected to just SHUT UP and leave it alone. God forbid you might write about a less than positive experience. SHUT UP. Leave it.

And yet….

They are allowed to traipse the globe and knock on doors, telling people that they have THE ONLY ONE TRUTH.

What does that sound like?

It appears that someone (and I’m sure I know who) is going into different Mormon forums, trying to fan flames, posting as me. And getting me BANNED from said forums. Moron. Ahem. Please note, I did NOT say Mormon. I said MORON–without the extra M. And said person is a moron. Said person is also an EX-Mormon MORON. A deeply disturbed Ex-Mormon MORON. While I would like to think that ALL Ex-Mormons are bright, intelligent, lovely people, this simply isn’t true. Just like all Mormons are not bright, intelligent, lovely people. We’re just a bunch of rag-tag human beings, and some of us pretty twisted, on both sides of the Zion curtain.

Anyway, though at times I have posted on forums in the past, when I had more time and less responsibility (Please ignore that time on the FAIR Boards. I REALLY wasn’t trying to piss people off. It just seems to be inherent when you say that Mormonism is not true. And some of those people were piranhas. And they don’t care much for ex-Mormons. We are all evil, evil, evil.), other than a few posts recently to the Exmormon.org board, I don’t post in public forums. Now, I won’t do it all.

I live with Mormons, and while I don’t necessary agree with Mormons, I sure like a lot of them. We just “agree to disagree” on theology, and move on. But someone wants me to appear angrier, and more bitter, and nastier, than I really am. And I refuse to let someone take over my identity.

I will NOT be posting on public forums. If you SEE a post by me, you can be assured it is not from me. However, don’t get too excited. I will be regularly blogging.

Sorry to disappoint.

Some nice visitor left a link to the forum of a Web site called Mormonchic.com. Being naturally curious about all things Mormon, I decided to visit. Interestingly enough, I found that I had been banned from the forum. However, I have not ever BEEN to this forum. Nor have I ever posted there. Did someone REALLY go to the effort of banning me from somewhere I have never been?

Wow, I feel sort of tingly inside. That’s true power.

Today, on Maud Newton’s blog (Maud is the ultra-cool, ultra-chic literary blogger I want to be when I grow up), she mentions Martha Nibley Beck’s book, Jon Krakauer’s book, and my book. Perhaps now would be the time to hire a bodyguard. Except I’ve only had two death threats. I think both Martha and Jon are winning that race.

If I hired a bodyguard, he would probably look like Barney Fife from the old Andy Griffith show. And shoot just as well.

My “hate email” is all pretty boring. A lot of it mentions the “hate in my heart” and talks about how “sad” I am. I’ve had someone make suggestions of other things I could be doing with my time that would be more worthwhile than writing a blog about Mormons (as though the only thing I do is write a blog about living in Utah with the Saints).

Once in a while, though, one really stands out. Like this one. Mostly because I have no idea what this writer is trying to say. The author, although apparently a Mormon (or so he says), appears to be using hallucinogenic drugs. I post it here now, in the hope that someone can interpret it for me.

YO YO, your ish awesome.

firstly, my beef with u natilie, is that your anti, i could give a crap what your anti about, i just think that people who blab non constructive words have a negative impact on the world. so here we go, im going to have a negative impact on the world and waste a few moments of my life for the sake of trying to offend natalie and of course possibly having a side-effect that it may help someone out, hahha yeh right!

i dont even want to post to this lame blog. i hate things that are built to facilitate controversy. or in this case, wine about how pathetic of a life she has because shes trapped and doesnt see a way out, just stand here and complain.

here goes, against the grain baby…

“hey everyone, lets all talk about how our perspectives differ!”, it should be a very productive discussion.

yeh right, this persons intent is so clear from the blog name. “trapped by the mormons”.

heheheh, ok sorry natalie, i wasnt aware i was trapping you .

and i know that people have mentioned to you that you could just move and escape the mormons…

WELL YOU CANT!!!, we are everywhere, mUSHAHAHAHAH >:)

you know what would be a good post? reasoning why you feel so trapped and incapable (or lack of desire) to do anything about it, rather than talking negatively online about your situation.

or perhaps you could bother in seeing the good in things..

“ya know what? i think these mormons are crazy, but wow, they’re pretty good people, and you know what, i did some actual research, and im learning about a lot of evidencies and indications that point toward a likely truth in their faith.”

nah, we cant have that… lets just turn on the TV, blogs, etc, and digest all the negative things in the world. you know! a negative plus a negative is positive! heh

“hey, didn’t you see on the news?, people died today!”

hey people were born too, why no mention of that?

seriously natilie, the glass is half full, if you can realize this, you most probably have an increase of good feelings, which just makes life better… crap, my mormon instinct to actually care about you is seeping in… MUST RESTRAIN MYSELF!!!

anyway, please dont moderate this post. if you can say what i consider jacked up stuff, give me some respect and let me say some jacked up stuff , wait a minue, im asking from respect from you? man I MUST HAVE A LOT OF FAITH or something heheh

and seriously, i’d like to see, oh wait..

you said “If you can’t take the heat, stay out of the kitchen”

hahahahah, rofl, oh man…

and your blog title, hahahha.
thats great

oh “no technology”, i embrase technology, i develop similar software that makes your negative venting eletronically possible.

see, your comments are so weak and feable, you could at least substaintialize them to some degree before posting them. in fact, i could write you some scripts that continuously say “mormons suck” a lot on the web. then you could have more time doing things you enjoy.. OH WAIT, you enjoy _this_?, sweet

also, is your online existance completely dependent upon opposition towards the “mormonz”?.

i can only assume that your belief that you are “trapped” is the most interesting thing about yourself based on your decisions to try really hard to make the public know this.

good to know the mormons can provide you with something to live for

when a nobody starts talking about mormonism with your attitude..

“jan 27th 2008, well, mormons suck, i learned to day about a mormon that killed someone, man, if thier church is true why would someone kill someone”

“aug 31st 2010, hey wives and sisters is winning!”

“jan 22th 2012, mormons suck, did you know? yeh, the bishop molested 27 girls”

“may 22nd 2034, wow, look at how productive my life has been, i sure feel good about how negative i’ve been over the years”

it’s been done, the least you could do is be innovative.

btw, your recent blog content lacks, who cares about your amazon race, and yoru blog isn’t necessary to find out who is winning. learning something and post something cool.

btw, fear me, im dangerously crazzzzy BOO!

*** INCOMING POSITIVE COMMENT***
i really like your logo graphic it’s pretty good, good design.

ohhH! positivity has entered the blog, can it survive?!?

i think it’s great that your pro martha beck though, hopefully you can be as great an author as her.

OH i got a sweet idea, you could say you’re molested or something. THEN TONS OF People would read it, then u could make more money!!!

wow, AN M.O., human history has taught us that people have LIED to get MONEY, power, attention.. but nah, no one does that anymore.

and the same logic that is applied that leads us to believe how false mormonism is, doesnt seem to apply in teh this case. 1 outta 8. good odds, IM IN!!!, ill see your 3, and raise you 5.

i think it hilarious that it takes an alternate route to discredit such a genius, cause no one could use intelligence to battle him, hes too freaking smart.

i really do not know why so many people go crazy about dissing mormons, it must be great fun or something, but man, but the people who do are DANGEROUSLY CRAZY! heh

also, im on the eletronic mormon hit-team, i get paid with tithing from posting stuff like this.

hahahahha

ok, you made it this far…
the inherit ridiculousness (sarcasm, hipocracy, etc) of this post is a MOCK MOCK MOCKERY of sweet little natilie, and to serve as an example of MORMON HATE MAIL

hope you continue to make lots of money writing and selling grade-a material.

best wishes, someone-who-is-like-you.