Well, Stormy the wonder dog, who weighs about eight pounds until we get him groomed and shaved, which lops about two pounds off, just got home from the beauty parlor. He has a big blue BOW on top of his head. Notice, I said HE has a big blue bow on his head. Cambre thinks it is darling. Carissa says that, as a boy, he is undoubtedly very upset at the threat to his man…er, doghood. My husband is absolutely appalled.

I wonder, is this why dogs resort to humping legs, posts, small children and, unfortunately, Pumpkin the cat, who is ALSO a boy. I’m kind of worried about that one. I don’t dare leave them alone in a room, in case they behave inappropriately. You have to carefully monitor these things, you know.

Back to Stormy’s bow: do we so confuse them, these animals, in their sexual identity that they simply have no idea who or what they are anymore? Furthermore, have I done infinite damage simply by naming him Stormy, which is NOT an entirely masculine name.

Years from now, when he comes home with a boyfriend–a rottweiler named Brutus, who wears a black-studded leather collar–will I look back and say, “oh, if only we hadn’t put that blue bow on Stormy when he was a puppy….”

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