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Book of Mormon vs. Wives and Sisters–Since Doubleday issued their edition of the Book of Mormon, I’ve been following its Amazon ranking with some interest. Now, don’t get me wrong. I am not one of those deluded folks that believe the high Amazon ranking means that customers in droves are logging on, and buying the BoM so they can find the “only true religion.” I know just exactly WHO is buying the BoM and why. I’m pretty sure my parents have logged on to Amazon and bought a copy. The only people BUYING these copies of the BoM are the Mormons themselves.
And why do I think this?
Well, because if you PAY for a copy of the Book of Mormon, and you are NOT a Mormon, you are probably the stupidest person on the face of the earth. You can EASILY get one of these for free. (If you are a collector of religious material, my “stupidest person” comment does not apply to you. Feel free to remove yourself from inclusion in this comment.) They have been giving them away for years! All you have to do is invite the missionaries over, and express interest in the Church. Voila. Free Book of Mormon. Of course, you will also have to feed said missionaries and deflect visits from them for the next ten years, but if you really want something free, it would be worth your time. (Note: this method works well for people who sign up for the timeshare tour so they can get the free night’s stay, or the free small television, or the free whatever-the-hell-they-are-giving-away.)
If you aren’t one of those, and don’t want to be bothered for the rest of your life, you can visit Temple Square in Salt Lake City, and express interest. Voila! Free Book of Mormon. (Note: Best to use fake name and address when registering unless one wants to become one of the people in above paragraph.)
Also, if you are visiting Utah, and staying in a hotel, just open up the side drawer of the bedside table. Voila! Free Book of Mormon. This method is the most surefire way of getting a free copy, without headache or actual Mormon contact. However, unless you are already planning on visiting Utah, I don’t recommend it. Cheaper to buy it on Amazon.
So, now we’ve determined that it’s pretty damn stupid to pay for a copy of a book that has been given away for free, in the millions, for hundreds of years. But someone IS buying it.
Today, at 3:28 p.m., MST, the Amazon BoM ranking is #6,918.
Today, at 3:28 p.m., MST, the Amazon Ranking of W&S is #42,224.
So, who is buying the BoM? The MORMONS of course. This irritates me, because I don’t have my own church to drive MY Amazon ranking up. And it’s not really fair. After all, Joseph Smith Jr. is dead! He isn’t around to see this happen. He can’t appreciate it. (Don’t give me the story about all the dead authors who find fame after their death. Not interested. I want it now.)
Once, about a month and half ago, my book went up to that 6,000 spot—for about an hour. But I had no faithful, unquestioning groupies to continue to buy my book in droves, and thus, my ranking has become a yoyo, caroming around from the hundreds of thousands to the thousands, with no end in sight
As an experiment, I am going to continue to compare my book to Joe’s book, via Amazon ranking. Other than the fact they are both fiction, there aren’t really any other good comparisons. I’ll let you know what happens.
