In my other, less controversial life, I write cozy mysteries about a dance teacher in Ogden, Utah, and GUESS WHAT? No, I am not a dance teacher. That was the wrong answer.

Today is release day for the third in the series, POINTE AND SHOOT.

If you are interested in learning more about this “alter ego” of mine, you can visit the Web site www.jennytpartridge.com, or read an author profile about me here.

And buy the book. It’s fun. I promise…..

I like Sundays, because they are usually good for a plethora of happenings to blog about, but this one has been a real dud.

Last Sunday, the mutual leaders showed up at our door with a tacky looking fake cardboard Olympic flame dealie, and a note encouraging them to sign up for the “Eternalympics,” which we then had to “pass on” to the next girl on the list. Since Dancing Daughter NEVER goes to Mutual, or whatever the heck they are calling it these days, and Chatter Child rarely goes, unless she is bored, this is a blatant attempt at getting them to JOIN IN the indoctrination.

I was tempted to keep the tacky thing, and really throw a wrench in the works, but I was afraid the leaders would tattle on me, and I would HATE to deprive some other girl of her opportunity to join in the “Eternalympics,” because as the good old FLDS Debacle has shown, barefoot, pregnant, and wearing ugly clothing–hanging with all your SisterWives, each sporting the polygamist poof hairdo–is such a great IDEAL.

Anyway, we didn’t keep the torch.

And today has been torchless. All in all, the doorbell has not rang ONCE, not even for Stormy the Wonder Dog (of course, he thinks that EVERY TIME it rings it’s for him).

So far today, nothing. Maybe I’ll go door to door introducing myself as a representative of Hare Krishna, just to stir things up. Nah.

Our new friend, Lauren, has a few words for YOU and me, Trappees. She reacted as many do, and to be honest, I GET the reaction. I do it myself. It’s human nature. But it serves me–and probably would help Lauren a lot–if she backed down, considered her words, did a little research and THEN commented. Then you don’t have to post a spate of comments like THIS, and look like a complete and total hot-headed moron. Oh, but hey, LAUREN, I finally noticed you. I fully own up to waiting a week before I acknowledged you, though. It tickled my funny bone.

Name: Lauren |
Why is it so important to all of you to tear down and stomp on this religion? I have never seen this website until today and after looking through quite a few of the comments on here, both by the creator of this site and by visitors to it, I am curious as to WHY you spew so much hate and venom at this one particular religion? What satisfaction do you receive from being so ugly with your words? Maybe I am mistaken and you all hate other religions too?

Name: Lauren |

Why is it so important to all of you to tear down and stomp on this religion? I have never seen this website until today and after looking through quite a few of the comments on here, both by the creator of this site and by visitors to it, I am curious as to WHY you spew so much hate and venom at this one particular religion? What satisfaction do you receive from being so ugly with your words? Maybe I am mistaken and you all hate other religions too?

Name: Lauren |

It seems clear to me that “Victim Syndrome” runs rampant on this site. “Oh poor me! Those damn Mormons. They’re ruining my life. Whaaaa!” Would you like me to call the Whaaambulance for you?

This crap is no more justifiable than the Aryan Nations or the KKK. It’s founded in hate and intolerance. If all of you are soooo bothered by the Mormons, THEN DON’T BE AROUND THEM!!! If you can’t stand living in a “Mormon” community, THEN MOVE AWAY! To live in a place where you are outnumbered by another culture, and cry and bitch and whine about them is an attention getting measure. It’s stupid and immature.

The fact of the matter is that there are deviants in all religions, just as there are people in all religions who believe that their’s is true. That’s life. Ever heard of religious freedom?

Move on.

#

In a previous post you(Natalie) said,” The angry Mormons who disagree with me RARELY, if ever, address the actual comments or questions or theological concerns I have. ” Would you care to enlighten me as to what your questions and theological concerns are? I am asking you with sincerity because I would truly like to know. It interests me that you do what you do.

(Yes, I realize that my comment has little to do with this particular blog posting. I just would like to be noticed and I figured that putting my question here would do that…. and I am not very good at being patient. I am that kid who wiggles and squirms and waves my hand at the teacher saying, “Oo! Pick me, pick me!”)

Now, I might have considered ANSWERING Lauren’s last question, but after the whole “WHAMBULANCE” comment, I realized she must be about twelve, and really, what’s the point? Even 12-year-olds aren’t gonna be laughing at THAT joke. I think she read it on one of those Laffy Taffy wrappers. Or heard it on Sesame Street.

She calls ME stupid and immature, and precedes it with the WHAMBULANCE?! Your sincerity, Lauren, is drowned out by the wail of the WHAMBULANCE. Sorry, I can’t hear you over the noise.

Then we have Fred. Or as he wrote it, fred.

Name: fred |

I”M a Mormon to and i love it i was shocked when reading this i never knew he was suffering from cancer if you don’t mind list what kind and maybe try going to the chapel (church building) and go to sacrament

Fred, suffering from terminal loss of punctuation, is either a) 12-years-old and Lauren’s classmate or b) foreign speaking. Since he didn’t even know his own leader had cancer, I’m choosing to ignore his advice. Plus I’ve already been there, done that, got the CTR ring and moved on.

And then we have our VERY GOOD FRIEND Anonymous, who hangs around a LOT. This particular incarnation of Anonymous appears, based on the email address, to be a young female.

Name: Anonymous |

Why is it you think that ones religion has EVERYTHING to do with how they act? Does a persons upbringing have no say? and if that’s the case, then what religion do you belong to that says mormons are bad? Because no matter what religion you look at, they’re all going to have a few crazies in them. and if you’re so sick of the mormons, move out of Utah.

Where did I say that, A? And where did I say Mormons are bad? Furthermore, I totally agree with you. All religions have a few crazies in them, and there are aspects of ALL religions that appeal to the disturbed mind. However, I live in Utah, and I deal with Mormons, and I live in and around Mormons, and so that is what I write about. And the old “if you don’t like it leave?” statement is UTTER bullshit. If you don’t like what I have to say, YOU leave. No one made you come here and read this blog. And I’ll live Utah when and if I’m ready, on my own terms. I was born here, and I’ve raised my children here. And only by speaking up do things change, and I will CONTINUE to speak up. Surely you are aware what happens when people try to create a “perfect” society by getting rid of everyone who doesn’t believe like they do. Surely you’ve seen examples of what happens when you try to cull out all those you deem “unseemly” or “different.” Perhaps you missed that episode of The Simpsons. Well, I didn’t and I can tell you, it ain’t good, my friend, Anon.

My purpose here, is to keep you on your toes. You’re welcome.

Next?

Once again, as the peculiarities of the FLDS sect hit the media megaphones, the LDS Church is demanding appealing to the news media to not call the other “Mormons,” Mormons.

SALT LAKE CITY 17 April 2008 Elder Quentin L. Cook, an apostle for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, appealed to the news media today to make a clear distinction in their reports between the Church and the polygamist sect in Texas that has made headlines throughout the world.

He praised news media that are making this distinction but expressed concerns about others who are perpetuating mistruths about the Church, whose members are commonly referred to as Mormons.

Elder Cook said it is very confusing to the public when some media use “Mormon” to describe the Texas-based polygamous group that is currently under investigation for possible incidents of child abuse. He reiterated that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, with over 13 million members worldwide, is not connected in any way to sects that practice polygamy.

Drawing contrasts between the Church and polygamists, Elder Cook said that Church members do not live in isolated compounds, arrange marriages, dress in old-fashioned clothing or wear unusual hairstyles.

Rather, they are participating members of the communities in which they live throughout the world, get married at the average age of 23 and are well educated. In fact, 60 percent of Church members in the United States have some college education, which is 10 percent above the national average.

Wow. That’s the ONLY contrasts they can come up with? No isolated compounds, arranged marriages, old-fashioned clothing, and UNUSUAL hairstyles? What about the BELIEF system people?

Perhaps we should point out just a FEW of the shared beliefs.

*Belief that Joseph Smith Jr. restored the gospel of Jesus Christ to the earth
*Belief that Joseph Smith is a prophet of God
*Belief that polygamy is necessary for living in God’s highest Kingdom, the Celestial Kingdom. In fact, polygamy was called the NEW and EVERLASTING covenant, by none other than Joseph Smith….speaking for God, of course
*Belief that the Book of Mormon is the word of God

Truth be told, the pligs are living the gospel of Joseph Smith the way JS taught it. And the modern-day mainstream Mormon Church? They still BELIEVE in polygamy, and practice spiritual polygamy, but do not currently practice physical polygamy, as it is against the law. It was NOT, however, removed from the doctrine, and in fact, was discontinued with a “manifesto” and not a prophecy.

But back to the Church statement: Unusual hairstyles??? They are, of course, referring to what I call the “polygamist poof.”

That, old-fashioned clothing, and living in a compound. Other than that, the Mormons are REALLY all in the same family.

And ARRANGED MARRIAGES? We are talking about YOUNG GIRLS BEING RAPED HERE, you old geezers! Sheesh. Makes you want to scream at the top of your lungs, don’t it? Talk about dancing around the ELEPHANT in the living room.

Elephant, thy name is polygamy.

(Please note: If you go in and read the comments, and you read the one from “plaintruth” and your blood starts to boil and seeps up into your eyes, and your head threatens to explode… Just note. The ISP is a Utah ISP, and the email address is a fake one, and it’s more than likely a troll. So before you set your blood to boil, consider the fact it AIN’T really worth it. Although it makes for good blog reading….)

Dad: Wow, RubySue just floored me with her knowledge and understanding the other day.
Me: What?
Dad: Well, she said, ‘Grandpa, I know what the Holy Ghost is.’ And I said, ‘What?’ And she said, ‘He doesn’t have a body.’
Me: Oh yeah?
Dad: Then I decided to see if she really understood it, and I asked, ‘So what is he?’ And she said, ‘He’s a spirit, and he is there by us all the time to help us.’ I just can’t believe how well she understands these gospel concepts.
Me: Are you talking about RubySue? The same child who watched an episode of Little House on the Prairie with you, and then spent the rest of the evening hunkered down under the dining room table, yelling at us to take cover to avoid the twister–THE TWISTER!!–that was about to tear through the living room? That RubySue?

Mormona non grata, I’m telling you…..